Festival Thoughts

When I left at dusk I knew that I would never be the same once I returned

I looked at my face in the mirror and had the realization that I would never look at it the same again

That what these eyes were about to see was unlike anything I had ever dreamed of

That what these ears would hear would echo in my head forever like our howls into the night

Out there in the forest, my body and mind became my own

And that first night when the sun went down I knew that there was no other life that I wanted to live than this one

I remembered everything I once loved, and let it all go

I set fire to my soul and watched the ashes burn under the stars

The next morning I woke up with a new set of eyes that shined brighter than any of the lasers or stars that had surrounded us

I woke with thoughts that invaded places they never had

My whole life I had been searching to belong, to find my people

I never could have imagine that I would’ve find the answer to life in a crowd of thousands of people screaming into the night sky in the middle of fucking no where

All of us here to make memories with these beautiful people in this beautiful place that we would never forget

I found my voice amongst these strangers who empowered me to find it

These amazing people with their unique stories, pendants, pins, and tapestries, captured my heart

These savages who, just like me, came all this way, put work, family, and school behind

Put their entire life behind to stay up for days getting as much as we can out of life before its gone

Its crazy to me how these strangers will be imprinted in my soul forever

That I will forget that man who came up to me after Griz’s set out of no where with a blow up saxophone and handed it to me saying that he got this just for me and then disappeared into the night

Or Will’s kind soul whose hand I crushed in the car door without even realizing, he looked up at me saying “Sweetheart, you just closed my hand in the door” as kind as could be

Tyler, who took me to silent disco at 2 am and let me confide in him secrets I had never told anyone

The group of people at 5 am as the sun was rising on the beach who asked me to join their “cuddle puddle” on the last morning of the festival, and we all shared our best memories from the weekend

All of the people I met out there impacted my life in one way or another, I can still feel their spirits floating with mine 

I met my festival family while I was being guided by Lucy, she led me right to them

They had beautiful tapestries, lights, and music at their campsite

And Lucy gave me the confidence to walk right up to them and tell them I wanted to sit right in the middle of their entire set up to take it all in

They told me to go right ahead, and it started everything

All of the sudden I had people to share this lifestyle with, who I related to on a whole other level

Who, even when we went home, I could call and talk to about how blessed we are to have each other and those experiences

People who know the real me, inside and out, who have seen me at 4 am wild beneath the night sky exposing my soul for anybody and everybody to see

And even if I never saw them again, even if I never went to another festival again, I have memories and experiences that could last me an entire lifetime

These moments are the core to my entire being, and no one can take them from me

So when people ask me when I am happiest

I tell them that I am happiest when all I can feel is the bass and breathe smoke and am surrounded by thousands of people losing their minds to this beautiful music in this beautiful place