Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: Okayyy well this is a pretty cool start. Its sort of the standard start you see on most sci fi's with this style of premise but there's a lot of really fun unique things that stand out quite well and I think it definitely makes things very exciting here.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Jay Galax was a soldier. He, along with the rest of unit 107 stood in a large, titanium room. In front of everyone was a screen.
This is it, thought Jay. If what the developers say is true, X-8’s military will truly be unstoppable.
On the screen, Jay could see the top secret facility, which was being shown to those of lower rank for the first time. It was a large building, with the top warping and twisting inward, forming an almost spiral shape. Jay had a feeling that inside that building, history was about to be made.
Oooh this an exciting little start here. We've got ourselves some pretty fun sounding buildings and of course lots of military. We've got enough things going on here to get your attention quite nicely and that's always wonderful at the start of a prologue.
“Attention everyone! Project “Robby” is about to be activated for the first time,” came a voice from a speaker.
Project Robby was pretty much the only thing people were talking about. The only thing Jay and most people knew was that Robby was supposedly a new, devastating kind of weapon, one that would revolutionize the X-8 military, and would allow X-8 to finally crush the various threats to the galaxy cluster once and for all.
“Project Robby has been activated! Any moment now, some of the developers will exit the building with the new weapon! In the meantime, the lead developer, Marcus Gorjourj, will explain the details of the project.”
Ooooh well this seems like a pretty standard start there with our secret superweapon about to be activated. Its a tried and tested method and it definitely is pretty intriguing to start off with something like that. This being in a bit of a prologue of course almost makes it that much more intriguing because you have to assume this thing has some sort of grand impact here or fails spectacularly.
“Hello, my fine warriors!” spoke a green marutian. Marutians were green humanoids who only had one eye which was positioned on an eye stalk, sticking out from the top of the marutian’s head. “Today, I will explain what we have created. What you are about to see is an android, with intelligence comparable to that of a human. However, unlike the androids you are used to, this one is special, in not one but two ways.”
He paused and cleared his throat.
Oooh we've got ourselves what looks like a new species here, that is always really fun to run into. I hope we get to see many whacky things from that end, the name already seems pretty interesting.
“We hired various sorcerers and wizards from various parts of the galaxy to help us in our endeavor. What we have created is the perfect combination of machine and magic. An android that not only has the capability to learn and wield magic, but also has been infused with more magical energy than our entire team of magic casters who have been helping us with the magic portion. This will not only ensure that Robby is extremely powerful, but the infusion of light magic should cause Robby to have an ethical set of morals.”
Several of the soldiers began murmuring in surprise, discussing this new occurrence. An android that can wield magic? Thought Jay. If this is true, then this is truly incredible.
That does actually sound like a pretty cool combination. I've run into a lot of super advanced and a lot of magic but a combination of both is a rare sigh so I love that we've got ourselves something of that nature here. I can't wait to see what you manage.
“That is not all. Even without magic, Robby will be a force to be reckoned with. Our devs spent years building the most powerful CPU and frame for Robby to reside in. Because of this, Robby will also be able to move with full maneuverability and cognitive precision at the intense speed of Mach 2, and has a traveling speed of mach 90, which it will be able to reach in about 3 minutes. As for defenses, its hull is benefited with a revolutionary energy shield that can absorb up to an entire BlackShark-m80 warhead and then recharge in a mere 5 seconds. Also note, this will be on top of the magic shields that Robby can create.”
A blackShark-m80 warhead? Recharge in only 5 seconds? If this is true, then Robby is going to be nigh unkillable if it is also able to travel with full maneuverability at mach 2 and can cast defensive spells, thought Jay.
That does sound like a ridiculously powerful combination there. You're certainly selling us on quite how powerful and capable this new weapon seems to be although I have to say Robby ends up being a truly perfect name for something this insane because of simply how ridiculous it sounds.
“Offensively, Robby will mostly rely on destruction spells. Although we won’t know the exact destructive capabilities due to not being able to test it properly, we can make an estimate that it will be on the level of smaller scale Colossus artillery, able to-”
Marcus’s voice was cut out suddenly and the screen went black.
“What happened?” asked someone.
Just then, alarms began to go off. “Project Robby has gone haywire, we request immediate backup from all units to shut it down. I repeat, we request immediate backup from all units to shut it down,” blared the speaker.
Well there comes the spectacular failure there. Not that hardest thing in the world to predict but I like the timing you've used here. Right after we've been properly terrified by the things Robby can do and right as they're about to mention just how much destruction Robby can cause is the perfect time to have it all go wrong because we know just how terrified we need to be.
Jay and the other soldiers all barreled out of the room and into the hallway, towards a transportation airship. He and the other soldiers hopped in, and the ship began heading towards the lab. Jay looked ahead, and saw large, glowing black spheres blowing up like balloons on the ground and then disappearing, leaving craters in their wake. Those are massive. I’ve never seen a destruction spell so big, thought Jay, terrified. Also, why are they black colored? Isn’t that dark magic? I thought they said they used light magic.
Its been a long time since I saw black magic and light magic be a thing in Science Fiction and ahhh I already love the idea of what this world might be here. It looks like a rare mix of tech and magic that at least I personally haven't run into too often and I love that.
Jay didn’t have time to ponder it anymore as the airship next to the one he was in was suddenly enveloped in a black explosion, getting incinerated. Jay looked ahead in the front windows and saw Robby for the first time. Robby had a silver colored, oval shaped body with oval appendages, seemingly unattached to the body, floating in space. Robby’s head was another oval, with two holes for eyes. The holes seemed to be filled with pitch black darkness. Around Robby, Jay could see the blue, spherical energy shield, which was shimmering.
Before Jay could do anything, Robby began moving so fast that Jay immediately lost track of where it was.
I think that's a lovely spot of description there. It definitely captures a pretty solid view of what seems to be quite the terrifying creation there. I half expected it to be mostly terrifying save for one hilarious name or something, but this works too xD
“All ground troops and anyone in the area, retreat! We are going to hit sector 63 with Colossus artillery.”
Jay activated his jetpack and began flying away from sector 63 towards sector 61, the closest sector. Shortly after he reached it, he saw the medium-scale antimatter Colossus bomb dropping from the Colossus ship up in space. It then hit the ground and expanded, obliterating all of sector 63 in a perfectly round explosion. Did it work? Wondered Jay.
“Colossus artillery did not work! I repeat, Colossus artillery did not work! Robby managed to avoid the explosion, and is somehow already at our location, repeatedly attacking our energy shields! We are trying to bring it down with homing weapons, but-”
The voice in Jay’s comms stopped abruptly, and Jay saw an orange speck appear in the sky and then disappear as the Colossus ship exploded. We’re all doomed, thought Jay.
You are Jay, you are, that's why you're just in the prologue. Well love that ending there. We've got enough dangerous sounding jargon there to really give us a good scare and of course the inevitable declaration of how everything is about to be destroyed.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall I think you've got a pretty neat start here. I think it does enough that at least I am intrigued enough to want to read more, if nothing else to see the worldbuilding here because it really seems to be a rare combo that you don't see being used too terribly often.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Points: 254038
Reviews: 4101
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