Feel free to comment on this one, I don't even think it's that good. This is another random one, so please don't ask
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I wrote of a world,
a world where the wind whispers melodies of old
A world where treasure,
is more than hidden hearts that glint and glimmer
A world where the stars above,
they are departed souls guiding the living
A world where love is more than a game,
no tears lost, no broken hearts won
I wrote to bring the lovers there,
a place to be free, to prosper, to laugh and to love
I wrote for a perfect world,
for the tranquil beauty never to spoil,
for the pure light of the moon to always shine
But then...
The candle went out
The hammer fell
The sun set...
And never rose
I wrote for a world,
but wrote no more...
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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Hey Natibabes! Here to review your poem. Hope you find this helpful.
Ok. Good poem overall. Some things seemed to contradict themselves but good. I especially love the line about love not being a game. The poem is also very original. It had an unique form and pattern to it. The end changes that pattern, which can be a good thing or a bad one. Personally, I liked the change. Good work!