Published November 19, 2011
“Why is a raven like a writing desk?”
Quoth the Hatter, never more.
And with flourishes
And gestures,
He pours some tea
Upon the floor.
“Time’s up! Time’s up!”
The Hatter yells,
And he changes seats,
Twice, thrice.
But bored, is he, of nonsense
Whimsy,
Tables, chairs and mice.
“It’s all in the mind, of course,”
He says.
“I may not even be here.
Why waste my time on madness,
Pray,
When nothing is ever clear?”
He produces a hanky,
Wipes his nose,
Then dunks it in his tea.
Turning to the hare
He says,
“Old friend,
You must agree!"
The March Hare shrugs,
Indifference clear,
Nibbles some bread and jam.
“You’re out of your mind,
But different this time,
You’ve always been mad as I am.”
“Why question it now?
You enjoy it, I trust,
Being weird and sick in the head.
Schizophrenia’s not right for you?
Here’s an idea,
Try dementia instead!”
And the clock keeps going
And the clock resets
And the clock says “time for tea.”
The Hatter’s ideas
Are wasted again,
So he clouds them
With forced glee.
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141,342 Literary Works • 674,350 Reviews
Hello, I've come to return the favor for your review on my piece, Somewhere Brighter.
I really liked this! I am a huge Alice in Wonderland fan, and you totally captured the feel of the books in this piece. There were a few spots that the rhythm was a bit off, and I will show you:
Time’s up! Time’s up!”
The Hatter yells,
And he changes seats,
Twice, thrice.
But bored, is he, of nonsense
Whimsy,
Tables, chairs and mice
I'm not an expert with poetry, so I can't offer much help here, but when I read this, I had to read it twice to find a reasonable rhythm. You may want to consider revising this. If not, just as well. Like I said, I'm not a poetry expert haha
Then dunks it in his tea.
Turning to the hare
He says,“Old friend,
You must agree with me!”
Ok, on this one, I think they rhythm would be smoother if you took off the "with me" at the very end. That way, you imrove the flow without compromising the content. Again, up to you these are just personal thoughts here
Why question it now?
You enjoy it, I trust,
Being weird and sick in the head.
Schizophrenia’s not right for you?
Here’s an idea,
Try dementia instead!”
I love this stanza!! It made me laugh
Overall, excellent job here. You did the Mad Hatter's Tea Party justice, and I agree with whoever it was that said you'd make Lewis Carroll proud!
~Jess
Hello there!!
Very nice piece of work you've got here. Lewis Carroll would be proud of you! You incorporated the feeling of his writing without sacrificing your own style, and that's difficult to do, especially with an author such as Carroll whose writing contains such enormous emounts of personality. Thumbs up there!!
As much as I adore this piece, I do feel that it is just a tad off in certain place. The rhyming pattern of the first stanza of your poem varies from that of the rest of your piece; if you could've made them all the same, I feel like it would've been easier to settle into the poem. Still, a few tweaks could eradicate that problem, and even if the poem stays exactly the way it is, I still love it. Another nitpick that I have concerns the capitalization of your poem. It isn't necessary to capitalize the first word of every line.
This is my favorite part of the entire poem. To me, it captures the essence of Wonderland. The only nitpick I have about this stanza is the two last lines. If it were me, I would've combined them. I feel like it would've bettered the flow of the poem.
Amazing, incredible work!! Keep writing!!
-Rose
Ok this is a good, no great piece of writing. The word '' philosophy '' is rightly used here, because it is one. I had to retrace upward again and again to grasp the meanings of the poem and I loved every bit of , the second stanza was the best though, I don't know if it's because of the color you give the poem or you wit put in it but it was a fun poem though there was no humor in it. I loved it. Though I'm not at all the biggest fan of Alice in the wonderland the movie but this was really an addition to it.
Sincerely,
Zaid.