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Chapter One - The Rogue

Terrance paused on a cliff overlooking a large forest. For many miles all that could be seen were the tops of trees caught in the throes of Autumn. It looked as though a sea of red, orange, and yellow lay at his feet. Beside him, a woman with hair like spun gold stood, her arm laced through his as she surveyed the view below them as well.

"It's so beautiful," she said, staring up at his face, her crystal blue eyes staring into his own. Terrance nodded and pulled her closer to his side. He kissed the top of her head and then dropped her arm, stepping away. He turned into the win, with his back turned towards her.

"He should be nearby, I can smell his scent on the wind." Terrance gave off a sarcastic chuckle and then moved to the edge of the cliff, crouching dow to get a closer look at the forest. The woman moved to crouch next to him, and as she did so her face elongated, teeth sharpened and became longer, fur sprouted over her entire body. A soft whimper came from her as the sound of snapping bones and ripping muscles filled the air. It was a quick process, but a painful one. It was only mere moments before a silver wolf was standing next to Terrance.

A smile spread over his face and he ran a large hand through his long, dark brown hair before he, too, turned into a wolf; one almost identical to the one that sood next to him. As one, they both turned and ran along the side of the cliff that sloped gently down. They were to go to the forest that was now in front of them. Both wolves slowed to a stop and stared into the darkening trees. The sun was beginning to make its descent, and the moon mother was making her way into the sky.

The male wolf lowered his nose to the ground and drew in all the scents from around him, sorting through them all until he found the one that he was searching for. It took him several minutes before he found it; but it was there beneath the smell of pine, birch, dogwood, wild animals, and so forth. There was something else in all those scents, something he felt he should find familiar, but he brushed it off as nothing of great importance.

Terrance nudged Kayla in the side and bound off into the woods, following the scent of the wolf they were searching for. The beast was a rogue, one that was trying to let the entire world know about their kind. He believed that if the whole world knew what he was, he wouldn't be bullied anymore. he wanted people to fear him. One day humans would know about their kind, that was true, however, it was going to be the way that he was going about it. It wasn't going to be through violence and terror.

They ran for a good ten or twenty minutes before they had to come to a halt. They had found a large rock that spanned a good fifteen feet into the air and was about ten feet wide. It had the scent of several wolves around it. Terrance glanced at Kayla and gave a low growl. They had stumbled upon the edge of a pack's territory, and the rogue's scent went straight into it. They were technically supposed to go into a pack's territory without permission, but the rogue was extremely dangerous.

What do you think Kayla? Should we chance going in, or let them know we're here and try to get permission? Terrance swished his tail back and forth in indecision and irritation.

It might be best if we call them to us, that way they don't hunt for us and think we're intruding on their territory, which we would be. If they refuse to allow us to search, we just contact the council. Kayla sat down next to him and tilted her head to the side as she looked at him. The larger wolf nodded his and and pointed his muzzle towards the sky, letting out a loud howl, being joined by Kayla. Moments later, they were answered.

The four wolves that came to them were all darker in color; black, dark red, and two were brown. The black wolf stayed in the front and eyes Terrance and Kayla warily.

Who are you and why are you here? the black wolf lowered his head and his ears were flattened, his tail raised high in a show of dominance.

Terrance had to bite back a growl in response to the challenge. The black wolf was obviously the alpha of this little group, but he was the Alpha of the whole pack. If he had been, it would be moronic of him to come out here with only three other wolves against an unknown number of "intruders".

I need to speak with your Alpha. I'm here on behalf of the Ground Council, I have business with him, not with you. Terrance stood and lowered his eyes at the other wolf, his own tail raised high.

My name is Logan, I am the Beta of this territory. Anything you have to say to our Alpha can be said to me.”

Terrance transformed so that he was in his human form, laughing. "You think yourself to be the same as you Alpha? You certainly have high aspirations, don't you?"

Logan growled low in his throat before he, too, changed. He had short black hair and dark green eyes. "You speak out of turn. This is our land, not yours. Know your place."

Terrance took a deep breath and placed his hands on his hips, which were clothed. "And you, sir, know your place. I am a silver Alpha, born of two Alphas. You will do as I ask, without question." the power behind Terrance's words left Logan taking several steps back and his eyes lowering of their own volition.

When one of their kind, the lycans, transformed from wolf to human, their clothes reappear on their body, making it easier for them to blend in with human society.

"Now, you are going to do one of two things. You are either going to bring your Alpha to me, or you will take me to your Alpha, take your pick." Terrance crossed his arms and arched a thick brow at Logan as he waited for the decision to be made.

The black wolf let out a frustrated sigh and ordered one of the brown wolves and the dark red wolf to stay and watch them, the other brown wolf left with him.

Kayla turned to her human form not long after the two left and looked at the two wolves that were left behind. "The two of you don't have to stay like that. It's easier for us to talk like this." she smiled warmly at them.

The two wolves glanced at each other, the red one transforming into a voluptuous woman with deep red hair and light green eyes. A scar ran across her right cheek, and another across her chest.

"My name is Ariana, this is Caleb," she gestured at the wolf, "He doesn't feel comfortable in his human form, so he shall not be joining us."

Terrance nodded in understanding, "My name is Terrance, and this is Kayla." He clasped his hands behind his back. "We don't wish you or your pack any harm. We're just looking for someone, and as soon as we find him, we'll leave."

Ariana tilted her head in curiosity, "Who are you looking for?"

"It doesn't matter, but don't worry, he's not a member of your pack," Kayla said. Her cerulean eyes darted past Ariana and Caleb, to the four wolves that approached from behind. There was Logan, and the other brown wolf, followed by a large, grey wolf, and a slender silver wolf with crystal blue eyes.

Terrance and Kayla glanced at each other at the appearance of another wolf that looked like them. While it wasn't a rare occurrence for a wolf with those features to be born, it was obvious she was an Alpha by the way she carried herself. Usually wolves with their coloring were Omegas, keepers of the peace.

To be perfect honest, Terrance had no idea what to think of another silver Alpha, but it wasn't as if she was the Lunar Queen, he'd already found her and she was by his side. He looked over at Kayla to find her thin-lipped and glaring at the other she-wolf. He blinked in surprise, what in the world would cause her to have that sort of reactions towards the female?

He didn't have much time to ponder that particular question since the large grey wolf transformed into a man that appeared to be in his mid-forties with dark brown hair that was beginning to gray at the temples. His eyes were a warm, chocolate brown, and he had the air of a True Alpha about him.

Next to the Alpha, the she-wolf also transformed into a tall woman with thick, wavy black hair that gave off a slightly purple tint when hit just right by the sun's rays. Her eyes were as blue as Kayla's and Terrance's. She held herself slightly behind the man and had an air of arrogance to her. She seemed to be extremely confident in herself, yet there was something that made it seem as though she was unsure of herself at the same time.

"Logan told me that you wanted to see me, and that you're here on behalf of the Grand Council. I am Malcolm, the Alpha of this pack, what do you need of us?" The Alpha's voice reverberated with knowledge and power. Terrance could tell he was trying to intimidate them, but it felt as though the power was a mere tickle against his skin. He could tell that Malcolm was a good Alpha, a powerful one, just by the fact that he could faintly feel him using his Voice. The Voice was an ability only Alphas could use. It enabled them to control those of their pack, and it was why the wolves had to obey their orders. The only problem was that it didn't work very well against other Alphas.

"My name is Terrance, and this is Kayla. We are tracking a rogue wolf, and his scent wanders into your territory. As soon as we find him and take him into our custody we will leave." Terrance and Malcolm sized each other up, looking up and down at the other. They were both about the same height, and roughly the same build. Terrance only being about an inch taller.

"A rogue wolf in my territory? Preposterous. The only wolves in my territory are those of my own pack." Malcolm crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes.

"Don't you pay attention to your surroundings? The rogue's scent is all over this place. All you have to do is smell," Terrance said as he dropped his hands from his hips and arched a brow. Was this really so arrogant as to think that nothing could get past him? The mere idea of such a thing was laughable.

Malcolm didn't say anything, just took a deep breath through his nose. His eyebrows shut up after a moment. It was obvious he'd found the rogue wolf's scent and was trying to figure out how to save face about the simple fact that two wolves that weren't even in his pack noticed before he, or any of his pack, did.

"Fine...you have permission to enter my territory to search for the rogue. Aflenthia, Logan, Caleb, and Ariana will go with you, as a precaution."

"As a precaution, of course." Terrance already knew why they were actually being sent with them, it was to make sure he and Kayla didn't do anything, they were pretty much watch dogs.

Terrance and Kayla transformed into wolves almost simultaneously. At the appearance, Aflenthia's eyes widened in shock, but she soon transformed back into her wolf, as well as Ariana. Terrance nodded to Malcolm and the six wolves bound off into the woods behind the remaining three.

Comments & reviews · 2
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User avatar
writer97
Review

Well DeepCrystal already mentioned the few grammars errors that I found so I won't be picking at that in this review. I would first like to say that I love the feel of this. It has such an authentic feel to it. I have no problems with how you presented the characters but my little word of advice would be to not so much focus on their appearance but their characteristics. I always find that it helps the reader to really be able to see the character if I describe them this way. I have personally always found it hard to picture a character if I only know their outward features. So instead of saying that John Doe had blue eyes, I suggest something that is a little more expressive. "John Doe had piercing blue eyes that spoke of ageless knowledge and power." I had a creative writing teacher once that told us to use expression in anything, even if the character is just taking out the trash.
By using a few extra words, my mental image of John Doe completely changed.

Other than that I loved it and I can't wait to read the next installment!

I've actually just replaced this with the edit just now. So if you wish to re-read it and review again, that'd be awesome. I didn't change much, just added a few things and changed the phrasing a bit.

User avatar
DeepCrystal
Review

Hmm, Lycans, mystery, a hunt, hostility, a reasonably attractive setting...what more is there to ask for? I like how you introduced this story, introducing the reader to the setting as things are set in motion. The part about the werewolves was totally unexpected. My initial thought was a prince, or some other kind of shiny hero with his love interest in tow. You betrayed my assumptions, so congrats on that!

Now, in terms of critique, there is a reasonable amount of work that can be done with this. I thought that the transformation into a wolf was a little rushed. I would have liked to have seen more of it. For example, is the transformation excruciating? Is it rapture? Is there no feeling whatsoever? Either way, I felt that, this being the first chapter, that the transformations could be described a little more. Plus are any of the characters wearing clothes? Do transformations destroy their clothes or are they magically restored upon returning to human form? Sorry, I don't mean for this to be a session of Twenty Questions, I am just curious.

Moving on, some of the wording felt a little awkward such as "I have need to speak with your Alpha" or "My business is with he, not you." Try reading these to sentences aloud to yourself and see what you think. To me, the latter of these sentences seemed to have a confusion of pronouns. The "he" felt more like it should be "him". Anyway, just read this over and try some revision.

Other than these issues, this was a good kick start!

I've edited it if you wish to read over the edit. It's nothing huge or anything, just changed a few things around.



Work expands to fill the time available for its completion.
— C. Northcote Parkinson