After what feels like an eternity even though it was only three minutes, my heart pounds in my chest while I was crying for my sister, Mia. The line has not been cut, but Mia has simply blacked out, leaving me in a bubble of fear and hesitation. What on earth could have happened to her? I am thousands of miles away in America, what am I going to do?
First aid then, I say to myself. I dial France's country code 33 following by 112, the first aid number after an emergency. The phone rings for exactly thirteen seconds and then a woman on the other end picks it up speaking in various languages, Bonjour, vous êtes bien au centre d'appel des premiers secours. Quelle est votre situation d'urgence?, Hallo, Sie haben das Erste-Hilfe-Callcenter erreicht. Was ist Ihre Notsituation? Hola, se ha puesto en contacto con el Centro de Llamadas de Primeros Auxilios. ¿Cuál es su situación de emergencia? Hello, you've reached the first aid call centre. What is your emergency situation?
My heart is racing. "Hello," I stammer, my voice trembling. "My sister... she, uh, passed out while we were on the phone. She mentioned feeling lightheaded, and that's just not like her. Could you please send an ambulance to check on her?" My words spill out hesitantly and fearfully, but I know there is no time to lose. The dispatcher's response is calm but firm, "I need you to stay calm and answer a few more questions."
I nod, as if she can see me through the phone. "Hello," she asks me, "are you still there?" "Yes, yes." I add.
"Okay, first of all. What is your sister's full name and age?" the dispatcher asks me bluntly.
"Alice Mia Walters Watson and she is 28 years old." I answer quickly.
"What is her profession?" the dispatcher continues, I can hear her typing the information on a keyboard. I can tell by the tone that she is wearing acrylic nails. I can't measure the relevance of this question, "She's a field nurse in France for the British Red Cross."
"I suppose your sister is married, who is her husband and what is his profession?" Annoyed and impatient I snap,"Is this really necessary? For all I know Mia can be in trouble and here I am answering irrelevant questions." The dispatcher remains untouched, insisting, "We have to go through these questions before we can send an ambulance. " My frustration grows. "As far as I know, that can be sorted out later. What are you doing? I'm not a child."
"I understand you're concerned, but I need you to stay calm. Otherwise, I can't help you," the dispatcher warns.
"Fine. But please hurry." I exhale deeply, forcing myself to calm down.
"Does she have children?" the dispatcher continues.
"Yes, she has a six-year-old boy. Shawn Walters." I quickly reply, before she asks me another question about his age, name and gender.
"Tell me about Mr Walters." Her voice is very unpleasant and not warm at all. "Mark Walters, thirty years old. He is a sergeant in the British military in France, head of Section One Hundred and Twenty-Eight," I say and then I recall the argument Mia had mentioned before he left to buy ice cream. "Mia said she and Mark had a fight. I tried to call him several times, but it always went to voicemail."
"Do you have any idea why they had a fight?" she asks me, a hint of interest in her voice.
"No, I don't live with them." I respond.
"Do you know if Mark was abusive to her in any way?" the dispatcher asks, her questions growing very personal.
"No, Mark doesn't seem like that kind of guy." I defend him firmly.
"Have your parents contacted her recently?"
"No, they are on a world tour." I answer, with frustration in my voice.
"Is she high on any drugs?" the dispatcher continues.
"No, of course not. She is a freaking field nurse!" I replied, disbelieving at the line of questioning.
"Does she have any brothers or sisters apart from you?" the dispatcher asks.
"No, we are the only ones." I respond briefly.
"Have you tried to contact any of the neighbours?" the dispatcher presses on.
"No, I do not know them." I say bluntly.
"Have you seen her recently?" She continues her relentless research.
"No, she mostly works in the fields." I yawn, growing tired of her stalling.
"Have you had any physical contact with her in the last few months?" she asks.
"No, I am still at university." I say impatient.
The dispatcher seems to sense my frustration and, in a brief way, asks, "You've answered 'no' to the past eight questions. Where are you calling from?" Flabbergasted , I reply, "With all due respect, it's irrelevant whether I answered 'no. I'm calling from the United States of America."
"So you're not in France?" the dispatcher observed.
"No, but..." I began.
"Do you live in the USA?" she interjected.
"Yes, from now on, will you just listen..." I plead desperately.
"OK. Then try to call first aid there." she says, abruptly ending the call.
How the hell could she! Mia is in trouble, I can feel it. I redial the first aid number immediately, "Bonjour, vous êtes bien..." I cut her off desperation coming into my voice, "I need help." The dispatcher asked calmly, "Where are you calling from?" "The USA, now please listen, my sister needs help. She is in France, I am in the USA." "Try the hospital in the US. Good night," she said, and the line went dead.
Shit! I shout. Why the hell is she not helping?
Suddenly I realise is that I can call her husband, Mark. I end the call with first aid and swiftly dial Mark's number. I press the cold phone to my ear, praying that he will pick up. At that moment, the jet lag and exhaustion vanish, all replaced by adrenaline that is coursing through my veins.
The phone rang and rang, and then I hear a faint click. "Mark", I start to babble. "Something is wrong with Mia. Can you please..." Before I can finish my request, I am cut off by the message after the beep "Hey, this is Mark Walter's phone. I can't come to the phone right now, so please leave me a message and I'll get back to you later, Cheers."
Crap! Mia mentioned that Mark had gone to the shop to buy ice cream, he should be home soon, right? I dial his number again, Pick up, pick up, Mark! "...I'll get back to you later, Cheers." It goes straight to voicemail, of course. I called him several times, but it was all in vain. Because just tonight Mark should decide to waltz into the supermarket and dance with the ice cream. But they had a fight, so I can understand if he wants some time alone. But Still. "Mark, hurry up," I mutter to myself.
I try Mia again, no luck. I try the first aid for the fifth time and just as the woman hears my voice she hangs up. She must really hate me now. But why does she not want to help, the only question she should have asked was "Where does your sister live?"
After about three minutes of screaming, Levi came out of his room. "Is everything OK here?" he asks me. My eyes fill with tears, as my fear takes over and I tell Levi everything. He sits down on a chair and nods. I am terrified of what will happen to Mia and at the same time I feel like a complete idiot for waking Levi. It is not even my first night at the Winter house and look at the trouble I am causing.
"Is she still on the phone?" Levi asks me as I stare bluntly at the phone, but my mind is busy wondering what could have happened to her and if she needs help or something. "Hey, do you want me to try and call to see what'll happen?" "You can give it a go if you want, but I am not sure." I tell Levi as I am slowly consumed by an anxiety attack.
I give him my phone, "I'll use mine, they probably have your phone on some kind of blacklist I think." Suddenly a wave of helplessness hits me and I crawl into a curveball and start crying. I don't know why I lose control like this. I feel like throwing up, but I push it away. I start screaming for Mia, even though part of my brain knows she will not come. We have not been that close lately, but still. I want to know what is happening. What did she get involved in? Or was Mark really up to something? What if she is dead? No! This can't be, I start shouting again.
Levi sees me break down and puts his phone down, he comes up to me and asks me something but I cannot hear him. I can only see his lips moving and words coming out, but all the sound is gone. He runs to the kitchen and comes back with a bowl full of sugar. He suggests I eat it, I cannot just eat plain sugar like that. I have to mix it with something. He tries to get me to eat it, but I push his hand away. He ended up just sticking it in my mouth. The sugar immediately hits my head and I start to regain control. I am slowly getting my hearing back, breathing normally again and wiping away my tears.
After a while I realise that Levi is still here, sitting on a chair, waiting for me to regain control of myself. Just as I was about to ask him a question, he handed me a glass of milk. "This will help you," he says and makes sure I finish it. Well, it certainly worked. "How did you know sugar and milk would work?" I ask him as I wipe my milk moustache with the back of my arm. "Long story short, I was a medical student before I took up history," he says as he supports his jaw with his hands. "How do you feel now, you must have had some kind of a panic attack." "Better." I say I am so embarrassed that this has happened. Thank God Levi is not making a big deal out of it. I have to concentrate. Mia.
"Have you called them?" I ask Levi, anxiously waiting for answers. "Not yet, I wanted to make sure you were following the conversation." He grabs a pen and paper and hands it to me, "If anything happens or goes wrong, write down what you want me to say." I nod with certainty. "You speak French, right?" "A little", I say. "I took German as a second language." "Dope," he says and the phone rings and Levi puts the phone on speaker.
"Bonjour, la sœur d'une amie s'est évanouie chez elle vers 12h15. Elle est seule à la maison avec son fils de 6 ans, son mari est sorti et je voudrais demander une ambulance pour la surveiller. Elle habite à …
Hi, a friend's sister fainted at home at around 12.15pm. She is alone at home with her 6 year old son, her husband is out and I would like to ask for an ambulance to look after her. She lives in …"
My gosh, he is so fluent. What can't he do actually? Now, I wish I had taken French. Levi looks at me signalling, oh Shit! Mia's home address. I quickly write it down, Rue du Texel #34 and some features of the house. "Oui, Rue du Texel #34. Maison blanche, toit bleu, avec des plantes dans la cour avant.
Yes, Rue du Texel #34. White house, blue roof, with plants in the front yard." he continues.
After a while I hear a policeman with a heavy voice say, "Avez-vous essayé d'appeler les premiers secours ? Did you try calling first aid?"
"Oui, mais il y a un problème. Yes, but there's a problem. " Levi sighs knowing what I went through with the first aid dispatcher.
"Qu'est-ce que vous voulez dire ? What do you mean?" The police asks.
"Écoutez, nous manquons de temps. Il faut envoyer une ambulance tout de suite! Look, we're running out of time. You have to send an ambulance now!" Levi shouts through the phone. The policeman is stalling, he doesn't understand the situation.
I suddenly remembered that my sister is a field nurse in France, and people should know her right. I think it is worth a try. I write "Mia Walters." down for Levi. He looks confused at me, I tell him to just say it. He nods and says," J'ai un nom pour vous, M… I have a name for you, M..."
His battery is low and the line cuts off. Are you freaking kidding me? Right now?
***
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Let’s see if we can find out what happened to Mia this chapter ^^
Oh she gets straight to the emergency lines, I didn’t think of that!
Oha she got the French person who does speak English XD But for real, I am still very anxious for Mia o.o
[Paragraphing issues persist btw. Making it harder to read than necessary]
Wait… that is not standard emergency question, right? The occupation? Wouldn’t it be smarter to ask where and when and what afterward? That is so so weird. I no longer trust this emergency line.
Oh Mia why did you mention the fight???
Unless they already have him up for…idk murder of Mia or something? Then maybe the questions would make sense…?
Wtf. What was this? Is this normal???
Uhm I’m not even a French person but I am getting upset on their behalf. My suspension of disbelief is broken now. Also it is sooo weird that there is only a single worker on the job to take calls right now. Is this really the only thing you could come up with to stall the French Health services? Why not have her forget the emergency number (bc they are different for every country?), fumbling through them etc and then thinking of calling Mark?
And …well I kinda wonder why I thought of calling Mark before Palma, considering she actually knows him xd
That is unreasonably funny: “to waltz into the supermarket and dance with the ice cream. “ How can you make me giggle when the situation is so dire! =D
I like that Levi knows French :3 I still don’t like the entire situation though. And I still want to know what happened to Mia.
I guess you'll have to read on to find out XD
Guess you're right ^^
Hello hello! I'm a bit behind on this so using Review Day to catch back up. I'm totally on board with this being a one POV story but agree it would be fun for you to explore the reverse with the other character travelling to Oxford either as a sequel or maybe just a couple of short stories. Anyway, on with the review!
I don't think you need to include all the languages here. I take your point, but I think you can just make reference to the fact that it lists all the different languages before getting to one she can understand. This current way takes away from the pace of the action!
First a similar point in that I don't think we need to experience all of this first hand. We can be told that she gives her sister's name and age for example, without reading the conversation. This allows us to focus on the parts of the story that are important to the plot. Secondly, I also find it very odd they'd assume Mia is married - this doesn't at all seem the interaction you would expect from the emergency services!
The whole of the interaction with the dispatcher strikes me as very bizarre. I like the way it allows Levi to come in and help to save the day and bond with our main character but the situation doesn't feel realistic to me. Unless she's called the wrong number, these kind of questions wouldn't be asked until they'd established that the patient was ok.
This part feels a little naive, would she really expect her sister to be known in a country as big as France?
I think the idea behind this and the tension is good, but I think probably needs a rethink to make the situation more plausible! Another small point is that you probably want to revisit some of the speech here. A new paragraph should be started every time a new person speaks, otherwise it's a little tricky to work out who is talking!
Hopefully Mia is ok and we can get a hold of someone who can help soon!
I'll watch out for chapter three. Hope this helped.
Icy
Your feedback is really helpful! Thank you so much. I should mention though, chapter three is the last one.
The line is dead? That’s great. Now how is Mia going to get help? The only questions a 911 dispatcher is supposed to ask are what happened in the crime scene, where it happened, who is hurt, how it happened, and a few other questions related to what happened.
Now, I feel like the dispatcher asked those to make sure that no children were harmed. When Palma mentioned the fight Mark and Mia had, perhaps the dispatcher thought that it was a case of domestic violence. Maybe the dispatcher was trying to help and in her frustration, Palma thought that she was being rude?
But hanging up on Palma was completely unprofessional. If someone needs help, it’s given, whether they are liked or not.
I look forward to the next chapter and wish you a wonderful day/night.