Published February 13, 2010
Hey this is a Shakespearean sonnet i had to write for school about nature. This is my first sonnet and first bit of poetry in ages so tell me what you think 
I slosh through wet grass to the chicken coop
Without purpose the angry clouds wander
But me I live in a definite loop
AS i push through the wood door I ponder
A strike of light peeks through a hole, it shines
With a purpose and a definite force
Like the ants who march in military lines
Or a train who never leaves it's course
Suddenly I notice what I'd failed to see
Tiny dust particles that fly and float
The light has made them visible to me
They dance in their own directions and gloat
They are like nomads, wandering and free
A freedom i fear I will never see
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I'd failed to see the dust particles
To NaRachel,
Your poem is good, overall. The location of a chicken coop being a place in which inspiration and realization can be found, especially in regards to a greater concept of life, is a rather unique choice. Very nice, indeed.
I suggest only a change of a few words and corrections:
"But me"=> "Whilst"
"coop"=> "coop,"
"AS"=> "As"
"force"=> "force,"
"they dance"=> "as they dance"
Aside from a few other punctuation errors (periods, commas, capitalization, nice job at a sonnet! Remember to always write from your heart, and you'll always find the passion to keep improving in your writing along with the desire to continue writing!
I liked it, but what did you end up failing to see? You never say it. You also use the word "see" twice. It had great rhythm though, and I liked the story you were beginning to tell. Try adding another stanza