Published April 24, 2011
"A reconsidered notion"
The blossomed heart slowly rise
He used to hide his shape from the light
Simply, to claim control on his side
He committed that for a lifetime
The logic of his philosophy had stand for his story lines
Back up a lie after a lie …….
"The myth of affection only belongs
To novels and plays where they
Well written, flawlessly acted"
Forgive my tough mind for his blurry sides
But, he saw breeding violence through millions eyes
Through long time
Made him lose hope in kindness
The sudden screams of 'Enough" rang out the illuminated horizons
Open the gates to the intended faults
That made the mind half a life
For the love of the god, can't you be a good a liar
Eventually, what meant to be!!!
Will happen whether your acceptance appears to see…
Or simply will get your eyes to the scene…
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140,522 Literary Works • 673,294 Reviews
Okay, well I really like the idea and all of the metaphors you used but a lot of your ideas were unclear or out of place. For example, he committed what for a life time? I also got the idea that you were trying to write with a little of the Shakespearean english century lingo, which is fine, just make sure your lines really make sense. Rhyming shouldnt be the first thing you worry about when writing poetry, just a few thoughts. Keep writing!
~SnowBerry
thanks guys for the positive reviews!!!
Well written, I enjoyed reading it.
Very good!