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monkey farts


The monkey in me was your intention?  More evil than monkey is I.  An ugly soup of thought and contemplation.  Amusement to the muse.  Please.  Give me truth.  Give me bliss.


Your details do me in and hurt my head.  You want nothing yet you take everything.  You tease the compassion of life.  Go on share your secret.  Some of us are anxious, others call your bluff.  


Take me to nowhere - douse me in nothing - make me porous with space - shake off my leaves and sear my bark - invite cancer to dance upon my soul.


In the greatest joys of life 'I' was not there.

I lived blindly through the smiles, pleasure, joy, and rhythm of others. 

Perhaps it is true that life is suffering, life is singular. 

But this is not life, this is experience. 

Experience is collective (shared) and is one. 

It is taking a chance.  It is trust.  It is felt. 

Experience is when beauty overpowers self, simply denies its existence. 

If you fear, it is for self and for life.

Experience is for love of all and nothing else.  


Depression is just a bunch of monkeys trying to understand more than they need to know. 


I envy you flower.

I pick you, you do not resist more than the effort it takes me to break your stem.

Dead, you still stare at me. You make me happy, you make me sad.  

I say it is I who see's YOU and it is YOU who makes ME feel.


I will sit here and wait. I will wait for you to be free, to truly live or to die and be one with bliss.

You are hungry, thirsty, stiff, in pain, perhaps confused. Who’s to blame for your condition? You can blame me if you like.

As I sit, I will not feel bad for you; I will not invite your suffering into my heart.

I will read, I will wright. I will enjoy the peace and enjoy my freedom. I will sing and whistle.

I will smile and laugh, but I will not suffer with you.  


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1464 Reviews

Points: 83957
Reviews: 1464

Mon Jul 29, 2019 2:10 pm
JabberHut wrote a review...

I'm so upset that this isn't a comedic poem about monkey farts. :(

So I like what you're trying to do here. It's a unique spin on the topic of depression, and you successfully maintain this dreary tone throughout the piece. In fact, the one line pretty much tells us what this poem is trying to convey: "Depression is just a bunch of monkeys trying to understand more than they need to know."

So I've been using that line as my anchor during my second read-through here.

The monkey in me was your intention? More evil than monkey is I. An ugly soup of thought and contemplation. Amusement to the muse. Please. Give me truth. Give me bliss.

I don't really know what the first couple lines of the poem are trying to say, let alone how it ties into the rest of the first segment. I've read it several times and it's just going over my head. I wonder if the monkey theme was just not played well enough in this piece to make lines like these all that effective.

It would be really interesting and cool if you used word choices that could relate to monkeys in general, and weave that theme in better with your subject matter. That's just an idea though.

OKAY enough about monkeys and on to FARTS!

You have a LOT of good moments in here. There's so many gems in this piece that it would really bog down my review if I quoted them all. In general, this almost "ode" to depression is really effective and relatable in many aspects. For the same reason, the poem does feel rather sporadic with ideas, all kind of thrown into one pot. AND I NEVER GOT A SINGLE MONKEY FART. D:

I may be ignorant with this suggestion, but removing the attempt at the monkey theme might actually do this piece better? It just feels forced compared to the majority of the poem, and using monkeys as a theme is such a stark difference of metaphors to use. It SHOULD be comedic. It should be silly yet morbid and relatable altogether! But it isn't, it never really happened. In fact, it's not really a comedic poem to begin with. It was more about the narrator wallowing in depression and then standing up to it by the end.

Anyhoot! Those are my thoughts for the piece. Like I said, there are just SO many beautiful and (dare I say) poetic lines in here. I think once you narrow down your theme and make some minor adjustments, this might flow a bit better. :D

Keep writing!

Jabber, the One and Only!

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596 Reviews

Points: 13479
Reviews: 596

Fri Jul 19, 2019 3:47 pm
FlamingPhoenix wrote a review...

Hello, FlamingPhoenix here to leave a short review on your work on this lovely day, and to help get your work out the green room.

Okay let's start.

So the name is really what got me interesting, I saw it and I thought what a strange name, I wonder what it could mean, other than what I thought it would mean. So that is the main reason why I came to read your poem, and boy am I glad I did. You told quite the story, and it was in a wonderful way to, your words flowed together really well, and I loved your word choice, everything just went together really well.
Your punctuation was perfect, I didn't have trouble reading anything, and the flow of the words and were to stop was really good, as well as I could see anyway.

Over all I think this poem was wonderful, and it wasn't about what I thought it would be when I began to read. So you might want to think of renaming it, but that's up to you. Anyway I'm glad I had the time in my busy day to come read and review your work. I hope you will post again, and have a great day or night.

Your friend
Reviewing with a fiery passion!

"I'd be a quote vigilante. A literary Batman. Someone had better be quoting me now!"
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