Everbound: Chapter Three, The Bookstore Of Babble Part 2.

No, No, No…

Lilian’s eyes shot open with twitching muscles and quickened breath. Words formed on her lips, threaded with pained anger that refused to be spoken. Rather, her lips remained sealed shut, too heavy to move, as if her skin was nothing more than cold stone. All she could do was stare as her stomach squeezed the last bit of calm from her body.

Still, those claps mocked her, ticking away like a doomsday clock. Destiny’s Sun-kissed skin shone in the darkness as she turned the corner. Her feet seemed to glide across the floor, never quite touching down. It was as unnervingly graceful as the smirk that clawed its way onto the sharp angles of her face. There was an air of unabashed yet regal glee about her, like a lioness smelling blood.

Even the shadows wanted to wilt from her gaze, or what was left of it. Those pearlescent orbs of light still took the place of golden-brown irises. A few loose beams settled on Lilian like a lighthouse in a pitch-black storm. Once the claps had died, the emptiness took hold of every atom within her.

“You were so scared, you didn’t even do your tell. In fact, she almost bought it. “Destiny paused, drinking in the fear, the grin growing hungrier.” Look, I didn’t want to be here either. After all, you were so close to everything stopping. “

Terror bubbled within her chest. It struggled to be made real. It bit into her throat and tongue in place of her teeth. Lilian’s breath was replaced by the sting of sandalwood ripped from the shells of churches. The pounding of her heart shifted into a burring energy that tore through her nerves like a desperate scream. One that would die as jittering fingers, unable to curl into fists.

She was a punchline to some sick joke, wasn’t she... Couldn't the universe have given her a less tortuous death, one where she wasn’t alone and could move till the very end? Not this.

“Oh, don’t look at me like I’m going to kill you. I’m just trying to put this in a way you understand. “Destiny, with a chilling grace, lowered herself to Lilian’s level, her breath inches away. “You are the Ego, and I am the Id. All I want to do is give you what you want… No, what you need. However, your attempts to hide behind logic keep falling, doesn’t it? If it did, there wouldn’t be a jar of blood in your bathroom. “

For, a second those pupilless eyes scanned Lilian’s pale face. Streaks of polished aquamarine caught a thin layer of sweat. The air seemed to press against their skin as if to crush them both into dust. Lilian’s heart seemed to give out when a snap split the soundless landscape of the room like a broken bell.

“So, what do you say? Are you going to work with me or do I need to flash a neon sign in your face? “

Lilian’s nerves began to pull under her skin, shaking with a long-awaited tension. Once stone-like fingers curled into joint-breaking fists, and her tongue became nimble in her mouth. The pounding of her heart formed a deep, guttural roar within her loosened throat. An oppressive anger washed over like the Dead Sea striking the land.

“Why would I agree to more of this?” Lilian said in a breathless voice.

The once imposing air buzzed in crashing waves as if it were one strangled scream. Sun kissed hands, reached towards Lilian’s neck in a claw-like grasp. Destiny’s body began to bulge, half caught between heaves and muscles rearranging themselves. Those swathes of light where eyes had once been swelled, threatening to overtake the room. Rather than a thousand tight coils of gold, Destiny’s hair bleached into braids of pearl-like ivory, as thick as the adrenaline in Lillian’s veins.

She had to do something, anything.

“I gave you everything. How dare you waste the gifts I gave you? The gifts the universe gave you-” Those words were cut short when a shaking fist sank into her flesh as if it were empty space. "Perhaps you can fight when you’re not having someone do it for you, Miss Edenbrough. “

“Go. To. Hell. “

A second sharper snap cut through the air like a blade to the neck. The world seemed to bear its weight down Lilian’s outstretched but trembling arm as if a pair of unseen hands were dragging it from the flesh it pierced. It didn’t break or bleed even as Lilian’s hand returned to her side as if Destiny was nothing more than a mirage. A mirage in which the world revolved around, including her now-in-place future. Lilian’s shaking form was the sole figure displaced within a dreadful doll house.

“Well then, you must say hello to my old friends when there. Don’t worry, they’re less Paradise Lost and more Faust. “

Those words lingered in the air like Destiny’s touch against her neck. With deep mournful breaths, Lilian’s eyes fluttered close, like a sacrificial lamb. Underneath the thin veil of acceptance, sobs brewed into manic hacking as if she were about to choke on her sorrow before that grip tightened.

Why here? Why now? … She was alone, her last meal was old wine, and the god-forsaken scent.

A wince that should have left her lips filled the room. Its hardened edges instead came from Destiny’s softening expression, those hard lines folding into a debatable mercy. Soon, the heat of flesh against flesh ebbed away in a slow crawl. Goose bumps formed on Lilian’s skin as if to shudder under the expected burring pressure of death. However, they would fade while the air seemed to heave a sigh, and Destiny became nothing more than the end of a dream.

****

Sleep didn’t find her for the rest of the night. Even when the sun came to dispel any lingering horror, her body refused to still. The fear seemed to course through her in a never-ending stream, rising and falling with her haggard breath. Her reddened eyes tried to flee from the loose strands of sun moving across the floor. Something seemed to stir within them, as if the pearlescent hues stuck around like an unspoken threat.

It was oh-so-real yet oh-so-fake…. She shouldn’t have gone through skin like that. However, there was warmth and movement all the same.

The echo of those events thrummed through her being. Even as she shed ruffled sheets, it clung to her like the sobs from her aching throat. Her footsteps felt too loud among the settled living room, like a trap bound to snap at her. There the furniture stood, more like a model version of what it once was, before madness fell upon her.

A madness that refused to leave like water in her drain or be loosened by mouthfuls of lukewarm coffee. The pattering of rain seemed to shift whispering voices, and the breeze into movements. Her gaze stuck to the corners of the room awaiting shadowy figures or for her namesake to assault her nose.

She just had to survive a few more hours, then this insanity would become sane again. It would just be work and home, broken up by rebound flings… Her hands, however, weren’t convinced as they clung to the journal.

If it wasn't for the heat that traced her veins, that fool-hearty optimism would be betrayed by the remnants of last night’s tremors. The burden of the last few days remained even after the journal was tucked away in the same bag it had entered her life in. Crumpled and stained much like herself, yet its weight wouldn’t drag down her already sinking shoulders.

A single thought overtook the empty halls and lonesome stairwells she traversed. Not even the rain could fight to the top by the time she reached the lobby.

It was all over. She was free! truly free!

***

“I have your answer. “Lilian’s words came out more like a laugh that danced between exhaustion and exhilaration as she slipped into the passenger seat.

That was if her racing thoughts could muster up a believable lie.

Lilian’s form sank into the brown heated leather of her seat, watching as the rain smeared across the windshield. Her coat didn’t seem as comforted by these inklings of heat. Every move made a loud squeaky squelch. At least the tree air fresher seemed amused as it rocked side by side with black rose-scented giggles. Her hands, despite this, struggled with the seat belt, its edge feeling more like a reminder of the fingertips that dug into her skin hours before.

“Whatever happened to ‘hello, Libby, ‘or thank you, Libby, for driving me. “Libby said as she turned around, taking the seat belt from Lilian’s hand. The click seemed to act as a period. “You are way too happy for someone who looks like finals’ week in hell incarnate. “

“Well, forgive me. I thought you would also like to get this over with. After all, weren’t you the one who demanded answers? “

The jingle of keys seemed like a sad attempt to lighten the mood as the engine rumbled into life. Soon the windshield wipers swayed as the road rolled under their wheels, dutiful in its task. Rain-stained streets filled the short gaps between exchanges. The concrete was closer to a ghost town.

“That was when the blood was the biggest issue. I think you’re standing at the edge of the deep end, and I don’t like how you’re teetering. “

Lilian’s shoulder remembered the heft of that bag. For just a second, her muscles buckled underneath it. That peak of unadulterated joy that flooded each nerve dimmed as that weight slipped. Its slow descent seemed to pull away her patience as guilt coated her tongue. The sound of it hitting the ground acted like a sledgehammer through glass, her body begging to shrink half her size.

If she only knew, at least this would be put to rest as some ugly chapter within her life.

“Look, I said it before, but there was a totally sane explanation."

Her gaze fell on the street resting outside her window. The rain created a mirror finish on the concrete. A few poor souls trudged through the flood of puddles looking like blurred figures against a foggy painting. The weather tugged at them like her lie, not fully formed behind her lips. Instead, it made a home with her rising nerves and avoidant gaze.

“Oh, if you say so. Go on, then spill. I have to hear this.”

“I’m using it for my future, like I said. It just happens, that means… For my future children.”

The car lurched to a stop as if it too was shocked, jolting them both forward in a rush of movement. Lilian’s hands went from resting on the car door to flinging out before her in a vain attempt to cushion a nonexistent fall. Amidst the dreary grays, the stop light cast an unnerving glow on Libby’s skin like a simmering anger.

“What! Either you’re lying through your teeth or you’re the non-virgin Mary and right now I don’t even trust you with a house plant!”

“I said future children, not unborn children, Libby. “Lillian said, her gaze trying not to stray from Libby’s face.” Come on, you were there my whole childhood. There was no reason for me being that sick. Why should my future children suffer the same if I have the opportunity to stop it? “

She wasn’t lying, more like withholding facts after all. Her children probably wouldn’t want to be haunted, either.

Time seemed to freeze, trapping them both in a moment of rising bewilderment before the road moved. Although the pace was steady, a slowness seemed to form with every blurred building as if the brakes would call her out on the fib. If it weren’t for the well-kept interior, Lilian would have gulped down mouthfuls of crisp air rain be dammed.

“How ahead are we talking about here? Because I don’t think your time of month holds the secrets. “

“I don’t know, Libby. I can’t see into the future. Regardless, I wouldn’t whine you got your answer…”

Before her next words dared to leave her mouth, the car slowed, and reality seemed to break. A phantom stood in place of what should be rubble and shattered glass. Well-worn bricks seemed to mock her memory and shaking hands. The cracks that crept through her idle thoughts were shallow dips formed by age. Even the copper letters above the door seemed to shake off the lightning’s embrace like sleep. Mcthissles stared back at her through the unlit windows and opened its unmaimed arms.

It was an offer that stole the moisture from her tongue and replaced it with the bitter edge of singed florals. The sound of rain morphed from a gentle patter to a heavy-handed strike against the concrete. It echoed through her closing chest like a pain-threaded needle, all the while clumsy hands tried to free herself from the seat belt against her neck.

“No, no, no, that was in shambles. It was in shambles I was there…”