Young Writers Society

This legit made me cry, which I would say is a good thing because you have to have feeling into your poem. What I like about this is that you actually make the reader cry which not many writing pieces make the reader actually feel something like that, but you're beautiful architect of a poem did. Great job on that.

I see why this is called a victim's perspective because this is very well toad as a victim perspective. You would mostly find the victim innocent which that's how the poem feels. Good job on that too.

So do I have any feedback or advice, not really much of feedback. Your poem was really well written and the punctuation was beautiful. My only advice is that you keep writing and never give up.

Signed, you're clumsy little friend.

Hello! (Btw, this is my first attempt of a review so sorry if it's a bit shaky!)

First, I love this piece. I like how it addresses the wrongs of the Other Person and vividly shows what it's doing to Protagonist. I really enjoyed the lines, "Do you want me to surrender to you even though you already won this war?" and, "Your words are more painful then the hand you used to slap against my cheek." Because they really illustrate the complexity of the situation.

However, I did find these lines:
"That way, when you would scream at me
I won’t cry like a fool and fall into misery."
With these I would suggest changing either "Would" or "Won't" because they show two different timelines. Additionally, (although this is simply a personal preference) I would shorten the last line of the first stanza. I felt, because it was slightly longer than the first three, it didn't flow as smoothly.

I hope this was helpful! -Elizabeth