Published October 17, 2005
There's too much on my mind
I can't seem to close my sleepy eyes
Tears falling down like rain on my face
staining my cheeks for everyone to see
The word laughs at me like I'm some sort of clown
there's no one here to pick me up when I'm down
I'm all alone here there's no one around
I could just scream out loud and I wouldn't make a sound
My life is over it's just a matter of time
I don't know how to live without you is that such a crime?
Deep inside my heart is broken and I feel like I'm dying
can't anyone comfort me doesn't anyone hear me crying?
I've lost the battle, and I'm losing the war
I'm cold and I'm broken walking through my front door
the house is dark and I'm starting to freak out
I've walked for so long my legs are stiff and they're sore
why can't anyone see......that I truly am torn.....
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141,298 Literary Works • 674,335 Reviews
Pretty good. Rhyming didn't really seem forced which is great. Topic is a bit overdone and a bit cliche and the line..
Is a bit out of place. I think it would sound better if that line was removed as it disrupts the flow a little. However, that is just my opinion.
Anyway, A good piece. Bravo!