Friends that could kill

I couldn’t believe what was happening; Josh was leaning against the wall. Watching me

like he knows me who does this guy think he is? Oh man I hope he doesn’t see me.

“Hey Jordan how’s it going” Josh was looking at as if he was trying to find something.

While smirking I hated him for that.

“Bite me” I told him god he was so annoying, why couldn’t he bother someone else.

“Wow girls can be so mean all I wanted to do was say hi” he looked at me with a

Fake sadness on his face and he saw it wasn’t working. So he gave

me an menacing grin with a acid stare a look that could really kill. A cold shiver ran

down my back as he started to move forward.

Slowly approaching me my back

slammed against a locker. I could fell his hot breath on my throat my heart exhilarated.

It was like my heart was beating my ribcage to a pulp. Though the one thing I can’t

believe is that no one was here to stop him. The halls in the school was were

completely empty even though I can still hear people talking in the classrooms.

I know for a fact that no matter how much I yell, they would probably not even notice

me.

How sad that is really sad. I was cornered nowhere to run because josh has me

trapped. I don’t even know why josh is so anger with me but I know one thing if

I don’t calm him down then I will get seriously hurt.

“Jordan I know you have it so stop playing around” Josh pulled himself to me and

lowered his head so his mouth would be at my ear and hissed “or things are going to

get messy” . my whole body froze when he hissed that last part how I wished somebody

could come out and help me. Josh took his hand and put it on my neck and started

squeezing it. His eyes were lifeless as if there was something missing.

“Do you know that girls bruise easily especially when they’re up against a boy”? Josh is

really full of himself I didn’t even know what his babbling about. What does he want?

What does he need that is the question to saving me?

“What do you want just tell me so you’re not wasting…your time” he started to

squeezing my neck even harder I couldn’t breathe but at that instant his gaze shifted to

the corner.

What baffled me the most was that what he was staring at was my best

friend Scott? In fact this harassment started when Scott gave me a locket last week.

I eyed both of them with intents eyes and I could feel the tension between the two

of them. What did Scott get me into. What could possible go wrong, what could

happen. My mom was right I should get some girl friends and stop hanging around

boys. I think for sure I need to get myself out of this disadvantage and fast.

I was still in Josh’s grip and unless someone does something fast I don’t want to

even think about it.

“Let her go Josh she’s not in this so let Jordan go before I do something I’m going to

Regret”. As these words left Scot's mouth my mind was or ready working over his

ever word. What does he mean I’m not in this, what’s going on. I am furious at how little

people tell me this days I want answers and I want then now.

“Tell me what’s going on right know and could you let go of me” I Added the last

Part. I guess they forgotten that I was here because the both of them looked at

like they just saw me for the first time. Josh hesitated why he couldn’t just let

me go.

“Do it Josh you have to leave her alone come on man” Scott was pleading with

Josh to let me go that was a first. I thing still bothers me why has no one came to

Help me but it didn’t matter because Josh release me and a was gasping for air.

I fell to my knees and watch Josh walk to the exit. He looked behind him and

said with a straight face.

“Will see each other again someday and I’ll be waiting Jordan” with one last glance

he was gone. Scott walks over where I was kneeling and sat beside me.

I glared at him.

“Scott…what’s going on here come on you have to tell me” I was close

to tears. Scott gave me a meaningful look and took a big breath. He turned his

face to me.

“why don’t you go to class Jordan there’s nothing left for you here” he got up and abandoned me in the hallway. I sat there for awhile trying to understand what’s

going on yet I have a feeling that I may never find out. I got up however when I

did the bell finally ring and as the students walked past me I was frozen.

Now the bell rings I wanted to either laugh or cry. Since I didn’t know which one to

Choose I just walked out saying nothing hoping to never remember this day again.

:smt068 :smt076 :smt008 :smt026

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Meep(:
Review
Meep(: wrote a review · Sun Mar 14, 2010 3:44 pm

Umm...
Okay, firstly, the format of the story comes in bizzare blocks so you'll need to rearrange that.

Secondly, you ought to work on your punctuation. You're short of commas which makes your sentences run on and on.

Thirdly, please make an effort to capitalise the first letter of your sentence.

Fourthly, try to make clear the persona's thoughts from her friends, perhaps by italicising her thoughts.

Fifth, the ending was an anti-climax of gargantuan proportions. It's like committing the grave error of ending a composition full of action and suspense, with: I woke up, and realised it was all a dream.

Clearly, this needs to be worked on, and you readers would appreciate it if you took the effort to thoroughly edit your story before posting it. Good luck!



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