Published March 2, 2009
Come closer, darling, come and stay
Come and join our masquerade
Come and keep your fear away
Come henceforth from where you lay
Join us as we dance and sing
‘round and ‘round this joyous ring
If to my arm you’ll kindly cling
I’ll show you revels beyond your dreams
Be wary not of grinning stares
Be glad; for none of them are glares
Be glad you have a partner fair
To lead you through this darkling aire
Drink up now our potion gold
Dance and dance to songs of old
Slide right in, be strong and bold
Dance away the wintry cold
Now you sleep and dream again
Think not of your night of sin
Return now to the world of men…
Without your soul, our prize to win.
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Does it have a beat you can dance to?
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Thanks for the review.
Her "night of sin" was the fey party.
Where does it lose rhythm?
Hi MonsieurRosseau
I did like it a lot, although at about three places it kind of felt like you lost the rhythm a tad bit. I like the whole idea of darkness and the almost evil atmosphere (Although evil is a strong word choice).
I liked the rhythm in the poem, it sounds like a song a band like MyChemicalRomance would play
I also liked the inversion you used, well done.
Although sometimes I was confused about what you said or rather what the poem was completely about, but maybe thats just me (Because I'm very tired)
What was her night of sin?
Otherwise well done, I liked it