The Burglar

Hi there! I like this poem, actually. I'm usually not a fan of love poems. Overall, this is cute. I actually think you really captured the feeling of leaving someone the morning after. It's bitter-sweet, and you conveyed this well.

My main problem with this is that it is so fragmented. Combine some of the lines. Otherwise it really doesn't read smoothly and it's a little confusing. Also remember that while punctuation is not necessary in free-form, it sometimes supplements the poem. I feel like adding some commas and dashes and periods to this in the right place will help it out a lot and add to it.

Overall, lovely job. Short, sweet, and to the point but still emotional. Keep up the good work!

Keep writing,

-Tori

Hi! Snickerdooly here to review!

It's me
Who like a burglar
Leaves your house
Covered in
The velvety softness
Of an early morning
And the lingering smell
Of your touch
On my neck
My stomach
And my thigh like the piece so far but I'm still a bit confused about what's happening
Yet it's you
Who robs my heart
With the sleepy tenderness
Of a sleepless night I really like these lines, they are very poetic and flow very well
And your whisper
Lost somewhere in my hair I like the imagery it helps the reader see and feel what you're writing about
The promise of tomorrow
Is a cross too heavy for me
To bear

I like the comparison between the robber and the lover, very creative. I feel like you just touched upon the beginnings of what could be an amazing piece. Punctuation could help a lot, as well as more emotional descriptions. Your imagery is great, just keep going deeper and you'll reach amazing

Keep writing!
<3 Sara.

Hello, I have just a few quick nitpicks.

It's me
Who like a burglar
Leaves your house
Covered in
The velvety softness
Of an early morning
And the lingering smell
Of your touch
On my neck
My stomach
And my thigh
Yet it's you
Who robs my heart
With the sleepy tenderness This here feels repetitive with sleepy and sleepless night.
Of a sleepless night
And your whisper
Lost somewhere in my hair
The promise of tomorrow
Is a cross too heavy for me
To bear
Possibly consider the last two lines as:
Is a cross too heavy
For me to bear