I Remember

I feel ya. It's kind of like an internal monologue, this repeating to yourself that you're missing it, as if you're convincing yourself that you miss it!

Gummy's the name, reviewing's my game! Tonight, I'll be reviewing "I Remember" by MoIIyLouise! It's truly a touching piece, and I can totally relate to it when I think about a particular friend of mine I've distanced myself from.

I'll start with what I liked about it, then go down to what I think could be better, then come back up again with a happy ending! You know, 'cause I like happy endings. So, yeah, this poem is grammatically pristine, and I really like that. The theme stays firm, and the lines are uniform, too!

Like my teammate MysteryMe explained, what really sealed the deal for this piece was the opening. Those first 5 or so lines were what ended up hitting me deep. So, yeah, I think that's that! There's not really much, if anything, I can mess with in terms of imperfections.

Now, let me seal this review's deal with a closure! As always, take care and keep on writing! Oh, and don't forget that practice is key! I expect to read more of your work in the future!

Hello, MoIIylouise.

c: well, first of all, I like this poem very much. It's only because that's how I feel about some of my friends at the moment. I like how you repeated some of the lines, it really flows.

My favorite lines are:

Those memories, they were so strong,

But now they're fading away,

And they're taking my smile with it,

I'm sorry to say, I guess I do miss it.

Hey there!!! It's MysteryMe, here for a review!!!!

I really found this poem touching and meaningful, specifically because it's something I've went through before, and it's definitely not easy. You did such an awesome job at expressing the emotions that one feels when they go through this, and the thoughts that rush through their head, and because of that I really connected with this piece.

I like the repetition of certain lines, as it really enforces the message and pushes the idea even further. It makes it seem as if this poem is almost a song, with a chorus and everything. I liked it, and I thought the lines you chose to repeat were very strong.

The flow, I think, could be improved in some places, basically because the rhyme scheme is very finicky and random. If I were you, I might try to fix it up a little bit, as improving the flow would really increase the quality of the entire piece. I understand that this work is old, though, so I don't really expect you to do anything else with it XD.

I think my favorite lines were by far...

"I remember when we said 'forever',

Like it would actually last that long,

Like nothing was going to go wrong,

Like nothing was going to change."

That stanza is just such a strong way to begin, it really pulled me into this poem. I think it was a great choice to start with, and the wording was brilliant. Really drilled in the message. Overall, I thought this work was great. You should be proud of it.

Well, hope this helped!!!! Keep writing!!!!

Hey,
I really found this piece to be very touching to me because I have been in a few situations like that before. I do think it should be organized into stanzas like defyingravity01 said, I don't think it would be to formal. It would help organize it and make it more clear to read.

I remember when we said 'best friends',

Like we knew what it meant,

Like we were both happy,

Like nothing was to change.

Things have changed too much,

It wouldn't be the same,

I miss it,

But I wouldn't want it back.

Hiya!
This poem was deeply touching. The loss of a best friend can really hurt. At first when you began the poem, I thought it was going to be about a guy. I have a few nitpicks (as always).
You had the option to organize this into stanzas. With the repetition, not having the stanzas there confused me. But at the same time, I feel like that structure in this poem would be too formal. Do you see what I mean? Anyway, just in case you don't know how to format on here, I'll tell you. If you aren't sure how to format this on the computer, hit shift-enter to only drop down one line and enter to drop down two. So now you know.

I loved this. I really loved the repetition, it made this poem seem almost like a song. I know you include rhyme in this, I actually wish it didn't have rhyme. It's fine with it, it's just personal preference as the reader. This line deeply touched me.

I miss it,

But I wouldn't want it back.