Nothing is wrong, nothing is wrong, nothing is wrong NOTHING IS WRONG. And yet it continues, and its covering everything now, and everything is happening. Nothing is wrong. And you know it, it has felt like this for a while, you know a puzzle piece is missing, and its filling up your entire body. Nothing is wrong. You should be happy right? Everything is going your way,yes, you should be happy. Nothing is wrong. And its draining, you know something’s missing you know that when you left nothing would be the same, its everywhere now. Nothing is wrong. Everything is dictated by it now, your thoughts, your feelings, your friends, your place, your body. Nothing is wrong. And maybe you’re the weird one, the one that can’t fit even among outcasters. Right, nothing is wrong. And yet you’re feeling it in your gut, if it’s still your gut. Nothing is wrong. A prisoner in your own body, how cliche, you never thought you would end up like this, never being able to grasp your own self your own identity. Are your hands still your hands? Nothing is wrong. Yes, you keep telling that to yourself, it’s the only way out isn’t it? To feel nothing to just exist. Nothing is wrong. You know it, you feel it, you feel everything, you can’t escape it now, you will go down, right this moment. But, nothing is wrong.
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137,484 Literary Works • 672,034 Reviews
I've felt like this many times. Nothing is wrong, but at the same time, everything is wrong. When I feel like this I write, which I feel is what you did here. The repetition in the piece is particularly powerful, almost like self-talk inside your head. I wonder if you have more to say? The piece is short but effective. Great work.
Nothing is wrong, let it be as how it is.
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Well this is a particularly powerful piece that we have here. Its so short but you manage to just deliver quite the knockout punch with it I think. The repetition of that title is what really manages to create a lot of power here. It really sinks through. Usually you'd expect it to go a little stale at some point but I think the way this starts out being a simple sort of statement right at the start and then it builds up pretty fast to those lines right at the end it just works.
You can just see the suffering that this person has been through and just how much of a toll is has taken on this person and the state that said toll has then reduced this person's ability to just even feel in the first place. Its a rather powerful message here that just also speaks of a pretty powerful backstory there and I think it really comes together really nicely here.
I honestly just find myself really wanting to know more about this person and the circumstances that put them here. It really seems like it'd be a very interesting tale.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Kate
Hello, Polt here with a new review and a welcome to YWS! Without further ado, let's begin, shall we?
The first thing I notice is that it's short and simple. Lots of repetitive phrases and lines, which add a nice emphasis to the theme/title "Nothing is wrong."
A few of my favorite lines were:
1.
2.
3.
4.
I really like the way these lines poke through between nothing is wrong, showing the reader that yes, there is something wrong. That first one really resonates with me because it packs so much emotion and feeling in one small sentence.
Overall, a consistent message and a nice way of writing it. Some things I think could be fixed. Separating the one massive wall of text. So instead of;
It would be something more like;
There were a few minor grammatical errors such as punctuation and such.
There should be punctuation after the third wrong, whether that be another comma, or a period.
These are simply suggestions, it's completely up to you as the author.
This review is courtesy of your friendly neighborhood ghost,
Poltergeist
Ayy really appreciate the kind words and the review! Yes, I can't deny separating would've definitely worked a lot better in this context! Will not lie though, posting this, or any of my "work" for that matter has been a decision done on a whim, no regrets though! So I didn't quite think the whole process through (yet). Thank you again immensely for taking the time to read it!