Sometimes, the faintest candlelight is the best protection
everyone knows that monsters can’t survive in the light.
if you want you can hide under the blankets with me, that’s cool too
it’s cozier with two, anyway
I can almost feel you in my heart
a touch so soft it melts away the chains of others
and erases all of my scars
it’s fine with me if you want to screw poetic metaphor
and just say flat out, “I like you,”
or would you rather have it come in soft, wispy veils of light
that shine through in the black of night
long distance relationships suck though
it’s like your tugging on my heartstrings from far away
as though trying to pull me closer when I cannot come
But maybe, just for now
just for today,
for tonight
we can hide together from this monster of a world
under the blankets, where it’s safe
and nobody can find us
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it’s fine with me if you want to screw poetic metaphor
and just say flat out, “I like you,”
I liked this line
Anyway, the overall poem is pretty good. It was a little simple but that made the poem sweet. Nice job.
Awwwwwww that's lovely!
Well. Actually it was okay. Pretty good. I liked the casual tone.
"I can almost feel you in my heart" I think the almost is important here, stops it being the kind of cliche line-"you're in my heart", etc, because nobody can be, it puts a more literal spin on the idea, I think.
"it’s fine with me if you want to screw poetic metaphor
and just say flat out, “I like you,”" is also good, because at the end of the day, that's all we really want to hear, isn't it?
"or would you rather have it come in soft, wispy veils of light
that shine through in the black of night" is also good, nice imagery in the first line and nice idea in the second line, as if it lightens the mood, I guess, while you're under the covers in the dark.
So yeah, it was pretty good. Until the last stanza-
"But maybe, just for now
just for today,
for tonight
we can hide together from this monster of a world
under the blankets, where it’s safe
and nobody can find us"
That was what made me like it the most, especially the last three lines...sweet. But no, also, the first three lines of that stanza because it's such a gorgeous moment but you know it can't possibly last forever. I am in such the right mood for this poem, I really like it.