Review Day Starts in 1 day Info

A Dream He Once Had...

by MissTess

Published September 23, 2008

A Dream He Once Had
Come now, they say, for six is seven.
He’ll live in hell, but die in heaven.
Of all things he’s ever dreamed.
His nightmares are his best.
No longer would he worry about them.
In her arms he lay to rest.

Although, his body lies there cold.
His voice still there is weak.
His wife trembles holding him.
Her arms still strong, heart limp.
He tells her goodbye through one last smile.
Death will wipe it away, the weeping widow whined.

She could not take the pain much longer.
A siren went off instead.
Her screams of rejection killed its sound
Her cries are not all that missing.
He is missed quite quickly.
She lay by his body sickly, away she said go away.

They left her blank face buried in his chest.
Dampening his clothes at peace.
His eyes closed shut to dream forever.
His last words before her founding were at cease.
Her cries stopped, and then she looked at him angry.
She stared at him hard, not wanting to say anything.

She flipped over his hands.
His wrists dripped what blood last pumped.
She held them tightly and closed her eyes.
Why she whispered, why did you do this?
She could not understand, she could not see.
Why cut your wrists, kill youself, leave me?

He did not answer, of course he was dead.
She cried once again.
Nix should you be buried alone?
I hate I have to do this, but til’ death do us part.
Living has moved us closer to this.
Death not part, but closer to eternal love...2BC...

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
aseka
Review
aseka wrote a review Review · Sep 27, 2008

OK i will give em..... 98%.
It was great really but the reason i gave 98 is because
the poem was a bit catchy
and some places it didn't make sense.
and there were 1 or 2 mistakes but it didn't hurt
the poem a bit.
so here goes



She lay by his body sickly,
away she said go away




so that's it i think i loved it
and i hope you will continue to
wright poems OK.

good luck!

:wink:
:wink:
:wink:
:wink:
:wink:

Random avatar
Vampire Lover Comment
Vampire Lover commented Comment · Sep 23, 2008

MissTess wrote: Why cut your wrists, kill you self, leave me?


you self should be yourself. that is the only problem i found with this poem! otherwise VERY GOOD!



One who sits between two chairs may easily fall down.
— Proverb from Romania and Russia