A creative way to vent out your frustration.
So now I’m like you,
With plain layered hair,
Studs in my ears,
Wishing I was there.
Back where I was,
On my choice of site,
Not Facebook or Bebo,
But a place that felt right.
The only problem understanding these two stanzas one after the other is that the narrator first says she returns to her friends old ways and than back to the site.The time when the narrator's shifting from her old self should come out more specifically.
Its too late to go back,
I’m stuck indefinitely,
Thinking about how,
I used to be me.
The last line says "I used to be me" though what you have conveyed is that towards the end the narrator is stuck with the site.Has staying with the site made the narrator different from who she used to be?At the beginning you did mention that the narrator liked writing ,so, she would still be herself despite the site.
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This poem is excellent.However the reader would feel much better if you edited it to remove the narrator's self pity.
Points: 4518
Reviews: 115
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