z

Young Writers Society



Different

by MissAngle


Different is the way I walk
and different is the way I sing my songs
to you,
but that is what makes me unique
'cause there's nobody else like me

I don't care about the fashion
because I've got my own style
Oh I've got my own little world
where the sun always shines
even when the day is gray
I see the colours in my sky

So if someone ever tells
that you are not what they expect you to be
then they are blind and just can't see
the one thing I certainly know
that there's nobody else like you.


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7 Reviews


Points: 890
Reviews: 7

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Sat Sep 13, 2008 9:02 pm
writer_ally_reader wrote a review...



hi..... I thought this was very good! i liked it a lot. I like the part where it says:
I don't care about the fashion

because I've got my own style

Oh I've got my own little world

where the sun always shines

I find this really awesome. I love how you said the part about not caring about fashion. These are my favourite lines. I really loved it!




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Points: 890
Reviews: 64

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Sat Sep 13, 2008 6:02 pm
bisquit wrote a review...



this is a very well thought out and meaningful poem :) good work. you have got some really great lines in here. in fact here are some of my favourites...
'So if someone ever tells

that you are not what they expect you to be

then they are blind and just can't see

the one thing I certainly know

that there's nobody else like you.' ok so that was more than a line but it is my favourite verse; by including the reader, you have made this poem even more successful!

and i also love your first to lines.

i think some bits need editing and those i will point out now...
1) Firstly, add in more punctuation because the poem lacks it a bit. Punctuation will help maintain a steady rhythm and also make it easier for the reader to read.
Even if its only the basic comma u add, it will definately help!

2) maybe edit the second verse a little. i think it needs just that little bit more care with what u r saying to make it flow and sound as good as the other verses. Though i bring it up , it isnt a major flaw or nefin!

great work with this poem! :)
hope i have helped
bisquit





“Can a magician kill a man by magic?” Lord Wellington asked Strange. Strange frowned. He seemed to dislike the question. “I suppose a magician might,” he admitted, “but a gentleman never could.”
— Susanna Clarke, Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell