Young Writers Society

Hi!
I liked the poem for its honesty and it seems it is conceived after a lot of pain which emerges out beautifully in this work.

Now for the parts I liked and those I felt could be improved.Lets start from the beginning:

The first stanza is the best part of your poem. It draws attention towards itself and presents a conflict of how you want to be with this other person and at the same time you know that you shouldn't. A struggle between heart and brain!

In the second stanza, I still hurt seems a bit off. It still hurts would've been better, or anything else that sends the same message. In the second line, instead of you weren't it for me, you weren't the one for me would've been much more impactful. In the latter lines the conflict is visible again. The age long concept of the heart wants what it wants!

The third stanza: why on earth can be replaced by why, it'll send the same message while keeping the length of otherwise long line which doesn't quite fit in. Late night pains and middle of the day aches is my favourite line here. Beautiful choice of words here. Straight in the feels.

The remaining part is fairly good, except for a typo (to instead of too).

The mood of the poem is set well and is supported by every stanza. I am not a big fan of love poems but this one is straight from the heart and not a pretentious one. So kudos for pouring your heart out on paper. Will love to read more of your work.

-Rohan

Heyo Mislady101 it's Oreos here for a review!
First off I really liked your title. It really made me want to read what you have to say and your description made me agree with you and made me even more curious as to what you wrote.

I just want you to know that I still look for you

In crowds that I know you're not in
In places I know you won't go
In pictures you probably aren't in

I just want you to know that I still hurt
Because you weren't it for me
And because I miss the good parts of you
The parts they say I imagined
Much more than I know I should

I just want you to know that I know it was real
Because why on earth would it hurt this much if it wasn't?
Late night pains and middle of the day aches
They say just as much

But stay back!
Stay away!
It's for the best
I say

We hurt each other to much
To be good for each other

......that's why I'll never tell you, how much I still care for you

They say just as much

Wow, I loved that, and I am not really a huge fan of love storys and poems, I mean they are ok but this was more than just ok, I looked back on the review before me and I would have to agree that stanza stops the flow, but it dosent mean it was a bad stanza it is still really good, you need to be proud of what you wrote because it was great and I really enjoyed reading it

Burrow.

Oh my goodness, you legit made me start crying. Great. Now I'm all emotional. And I have to go somewhere soon. Thanks a lot :'D

Yeah, I feel the same--everyone seems to write about the beginning of love, and all the drama and pain and just love, in general. I don't see many things about the afterwards of love, if it ends (and ends in this way). I could really connect with this poem...It hit me in the right spot at the right time.

I don't want to criticize it...It's so perfect...

Okay, if I have to...

I just want you to know that I know it was real
Because why on earth would it hurt this much if it wasn't?