i absolutely loved this poem! good job with the rhyming.
i actually wish there was more versus because it was like you were telling a little story.
The first two lines are hands down my favourite, automatically it's like "wow where are they going with this!!" such a good opening line that can lead down so many avenues.
i really enjoyed the shortness and almost assertive like sternness to the lines such as "when the register dings, or your phone bings" straight to it and i love it.
Also good use of the word valiant!
Would love to hear / see the next verse of this poem if you ever write one!
Keep up the good work!
Points: 24
Reviews: 4
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