Secrets

Hi there, MindBlown =^-^= Happy review day! (I have to do this every review, sorry: Go team Tsunami Tyrants! Woooooo!)
Anyhoo, I adore poetry most of all and always take time to examine pieces, so feel free to ask me to review ANYTHING at any time ^-^ I also help with editing, if you’re ever uncertain or exhausted with your work, you can have t-me examine it and I’ll do my best ^-^
Alrightyroo, Nippy’s here with encouragement, reviews, criticism and all of that c:
A couple parts were inconsistent and didn’t quite rhyme, but looking past that, this is a really lovely poem! Very interesting and enjoyable piece (and isn’t enjoyment why we read?), you have nice poetry, so don’t double that. All of your work has been really good. Very consistent piece, nice flow, and very talented verses. I can’t say much to help you improve it. . . . hmm :/
Well anyhoo! Well done, keep writing, and do your best!
~Catnip~

HEY! Years and disappear doesn't rhyme very well, I know how hard it can be to keep a constant rhyme sometimes
Depends how one would pronounce again (A GAIN or uh gen) anywho. I absoultley loved reading it. Yet another poem I can relate to and feel the emotions deep with in the lines. I feel the ame way all the time ! Like you want to tell people your secrets but you are afraid of rejection or that they won't understand. I almost told this kid I liked him, I was literally about to say it, but I got to shy and just asked a question instead ...

Ya it's a shame sometime :'(

LOVE the poem though!
Keep it up!
~Speakerskat

Hi MindBlown! That was an awesome poem! And that's really true:''Makes you feel covered in slime''

What I really liked about this poem was all of the creative examples of what secrets can do to you..

And the rhyming pattern was cool too-always consistent-never too choppy or out of line..

It was meaningful, and easy to read-wasn't too exaggerated. The ''Like a thorn in my side'' Was probably my favorite part!:)

Amazing poem, MindBlown! -Neonmask. XD

I enjoyed reading this it was interesting and I loved it I think you did and excellent job on this piece I don't mean to sound um I don't know confused I guess but some of the lines were a bit on the stranger side like "if I could only sell them away" and "they desperately need a buffer" but I don't mind it I think its written how you want it to be written and I don't think you should change a thing unless you feel you should keep up the good work!

Alright, just a few things:

Grammar:
"Wont let me roll.."
Be careful to make sure you add in those apostrophes in contractions. Texting and autocorrect has certainly spoiled me in this aspect. Just watch out for it.

Also, every line does not have to end with a comma as you have above. For example:
"Secrets are not kind.
They desperately need a buffer,
Manifesting in the darkest corners of my mind,
Keeping them in is getting tougher."
See? Not everything has to have that comma.

Rhythm:
For the most part there is a pretty steady flow, until this stanza:
"Like a thorn in my side,
All of the time,
Wont let me roll with the tide,
Makes me feel covered in slime,"
It might just work a little better if you take this entire stanza out. You're keeping steady beat and then that gets thrown in and BOOM! there is a ryhme scheme. Then you go about the rest and end the poem. It really breaks it up.

Content:
I found a few cliches you may want to consider changing-
"Like a thorn in my side"
"darkest corners of my mind"
"Wont let me roll with the tide,
Makes me feel covered in slime"
Just do sometihng to make these your own. Reword them, find some different imagery. Something. You don't want the reader to get bored and feel like they have heard it a million times. Bring something fresh to the table.

You are doing good. Just fix some of these things and you will be on the right track. Good luck and keep writing!
~Kay

This sounds personal and dont worry whatever it is we all always get through and if its not wow you are good I just joined this and am trying to get something submitted but its tototally not going to be anything close to this yours is great Keeping writing and i cant wait to keep exploring and run into another of your poems see you soon