z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

The feather

by MilkAndHoney28


It was a feather floating down, it looked beautiful, I wanted to keep it.

It seems I took too long to contemplate picking up this plumage, for when I looked down the feather was gone.


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Sat Apr 04, 2020 3:41 pm
Alfonso22 wrote a review...



Hi! Thanks for sharing this short albeit very meaningful poem involving a descending feather that the speaker tells us he or she attempted to grasp because of its beauty, but which he failed to do because it suddenly vanished. Hesitancy is blamed for it.

Interpretation

One thing that I notice, is that the feather is allowed it to reach the ground or floor before attempting to grasp it. Why not reach for it as it is descending?

Too mesmerized? Second thoughts about if it is really worth it? Fear that it is a lure for leading to a deadly trap? The reasons are not given, yet these two remain viable explanations.

What might the ground and disappearance symbolize?

Well, it obviously was associated with the feather's vanishing since it was still intact while available up in the air or up for grabs. Could the ground symbolize a time limit such as lifespan? Or a date in which the feather could no longer be geographically available due to relocation?

What does the feather symbolize. Well, it might symbolize a beautiful opportunity or a beautiful person. Either one will do,

Suggestions

It was a feather floating down[.] it looked beautiful[.] I wanted to keep it.

....for when I looked down the feather was gone[,]....




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Tue Mar 31, 2020 2:10 am
dahlia58 wrote a review...



I've heard of minimalist poems, and I'm wondering if this is an example. You set this short poem as a romantic work. So am I correct to assume that the feather symbolizes the one the speaker has feelings for? At least from my perspective, the speaker wanted to try confessing to the person they like, but they never did and it was too late. If this isn't the meaning you intended, pardon me...




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Mon Mar 30, 2020 6:49 am
albedo wrote a review...



I think that this poem is great and has a lot of potentials.

I don't see how anything in the poem that would label it as romantic.

When the narrator said that the feather was beautiful, you could have added more description of what he/she saw. As far as shape, colors and size for feathers come in a variety of all of these.

The poem could be a little longer at least two stanzas though this poem is entirely yours so it is your choice.

Overall I loved it! :)




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Mon Mar 30, 2020 2:17 am
koinoyokan says...



idk why but i just really like the use of the word plumage. great word choice.




Alfonso22 says...


In Spanish the word for feather is Pluma and for feathers it's plumas. Curiously, in Spanish a pen is called a pluma. Harks back to when actual feathers were being used as pens.



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Sun Mar 29, 2020 10:09 pm
Arch Stanton says...



This kind of reminds me of the old sayings like "strike while the iron is hot" or "make hay while the sun shines" or whatever...




Arch Stanton says...


It's happened again! Little help @Jaybird?



Mageheart says...


Fixed! :)




Don't be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart.
— Roy T. Bennett