This is probably my favourite one yet, I think :)
Bury me deep beneath
the January snow
let me sleep in a world
filled with silence.
Only I will hear my heart
and no one else would know
that it’s hidden far away
from all the violence.
Chorus
‘Cause in the January snow,
when bombs and shells are blown
you can’t hear the ground shaking,
you can’t hear my heart breaking.
In the January snow,
where footprints are left unknown,
you can trace the tracks to find
the place where I lost my mind.
Numb and cold and so alone,
I feel the melted ice
trickle down my air spaces
and into my lungs
Chorus
‘Cause in the January snow,
when bombs and shells are blown
you can’t hear the ground shaking,
you can’t hear my heart breaking.
In the January snow,
where footprints are left unknown,
you can trace the tracks to find
the place where I lost my mind.
The feelings melt away
and all that remains
is the muddy mess we made,
the muddy mess we made.
Chorus
‘Cause in the January snow,
when bombs and shells are blown
you can’t hear the ground shaking,
you can’t hear my heart breaking.
In the January snow,
where footprints are left unknown,
you can trace the tracks to find
the place where I lost my mind.
Bury me deep beneath
the January snow,
let me sleep.
It was a a sad and powerful piece. It gave a good description on what it is like to have a broken heart and to feel the ice cold winters that we all experience in january.It was so beautiful. nice forming of a poem. It is great in its flow, imagery, and sound. I love lyrical poetry they give you a stronger sense of emotion. They also have a rythm.
This was brilliant. I don't review or read that many lyrics but I guess it is just poetry but with a beat. Anyway I thought that this was great, the lyrics were wonderful and although not overly filled with emotion they felt honest and like they meant something to you.
I liked the flow of it, I'm not sure what sort of beat would fit it and I was having a hard time trying to figure it out while still making the rhyme of the lyrics work (it probably didn't work that I was listening to a hip hop song while reading it).
The chorus is my favourite bit, while some of the versus are a bit weak the chorus is fantastic.
Great job! xxx
adfg;gkgf thank you!
This was really good! I wish that I could actually hear it with the beat, but alas, I have to use my own imagination. ^^ I have very little experience with lyrics, but I'll give this a shot...
I thought the lyrics were definitely relateable. They weren't splendid, but they were honest, and still well-written. There were places where the rhythm seemed off, but they're lyrics, so set to music that might change. Keep writing!