The water rippled around the docks, washing shells and other debris on shore. The day was calm and bright, the sun sending colourful sparkles across the sea. Right off the shore sat a science facility reserved for scientists dedicated to the research of marine biology. It was clean and white, with a dock reserved for their research boats.
Inside, right below the water, was a viewing room – one wall completely glass. It was there that a father pointed enthusiastically to the smart pink jellyfish and colourful creatures that passed by him and his son. Their golden brown hair reflected the strange shadows the water made through the thick glass.
“Look daddy, look!” the four year old child shouted, pointing out the fish he thought were the prettiest.
His father smiled lovingly back at him. “Yep, Buddy, I see them.”
The little boy giggled uncontrollably when he spotted some small crabs crawling over the giant rocks at the water's edge.
“Dr. Page?” a voice called from the hallway. The man with golden brown hair turned around, his son still pointing randomly out the window. “We need you in lab four.”
The man nodded and turned back to the boy. “Hey, Al, Daddy's gotta go for a few seconds. I'll be back soon, okay Buddy?” The child nodded and turned back to the window while his father stood from his squatting position. He left through the hallway, into lab four, and left his son to his own devices.
The boy looked around the fairly large room. He'd been there countless other times, not even remembering the first time he'd been taken there. His father liked to take him on slow days, when there weren't many people. This was the child's favorite place to go with his dad, next to the aquarium. He loved it. Everything about water was so cool and fascinating to the little boy of four. The swirling blues that sparkled in the sun, filled with the amazing creatures that lived there. It was everything to the boy.
He giggled more as he spotted weirder and prettier creatures, every one more beautiful than the last. His laughter stopped as he spotted something out of the corner of his eye. It was bright, the smooth tail shimmering a thousand different colours in the sunlight.
It was different, though. Before disappearing, the boy noticed its tail flicking up and down in order to propel it forwards. Though he was only four years old, the child was familiar enough with fish to know that their tails flicked side to side. Other than the big fish – the fish that aren't fish – like whales and dolphins. But this particular fish was neither.
The boy wanted to ask his father, and looked around the room curiously before remembering that his father was called somewhere else. He was about to turn back to the window when a knocking echoed around the room.
The little boy turned excitedly to the door, expecting to find his dad there, but the doorway was empty.
“Daddy?” he called, stepping toward the door. Maybe his father was playing hide and seek. The boy frowned, however, when no one answered. He opened his mouth to call again when the knocking sounds started up again. A hand on glass.
He turned, flicking his eyes over the viewing window to find the mysterious tail flicking out of the corner once again. He hurried excitedly to the glass, hoping to find a new friend in the water. When he found nothing more than a few jellyfish and scattered crabs, his eyes drooped disappointedly. He knocked on the glass, hoping for a reply. He knocked again. Once more.
He waited halfheartedly for a few more seconds and began to lose hope on this new friend when the knocking resumed. His eyes lit up and he flicked his head over to where the sound came from. There, in the corner, was a little boy.
Well... no. It wasn't a little boy. The fingers spread out on the glass were long and webbed. The skin was blue and thick, like that of a dolphin or whale, and his eyes... his eyes glowed bright yellow and sparkled in fear. Fear that he had gotten caught. He was large for a fish, around the size of a seven year old human.
As they stared at each other, the fear in the fish's eyes lessened and became curious. He moved closer to the center of the glass, towards where the human boy was standing and observing him. Once again, he knocked on the glass. The little boy smiled brightly and knocked right back.
That seemed to reassure the fish and he smiled like the human. They looked at each others hands that were curled into fists against the cool glass and slowly spread them apart, molding their hand against the other's as best they could with the four inch glass in the way. The human boy was fascinated by the fish's long webbed fingers. They were almost twice his size and the thin skin connecting the five digits was pale and translucent.
“Alphonse, what do you say we-” his father's voice cut through the silence as he walked through the door. The little boy turned his head to see the tall man looking at him. “Whatcha looking at, Buddy?”
The boy was just about to respond when he turned his head to find the fish-boy had vanished. He dropped his hand from the glass and turned back to his dad, plastering a big smile across his face.
“A big big fishy!” he replied. The father smiled and ruffled his son's hair.
“So, Al. What do you say we get some ice-cream and head home?”
The boy nodded enthusiastically at the prospect of ice-cream and took his father's hand. He turned his head as they walked out of the room and waved at the bright yellow eyes peeking at him from the corner of the viewing glass. The fish waved back cautiously and swam away, his tale bobbing up and down as he went.
The little boy smiled up at his dad and tugged on his hand. The father chuckled, enjoying his time with his little boy, and plopped his son onto his shoulders.
“So, how big was this fish?” he asked.
The son smiled, tottering on his father's shoulders, and stretched his arms out as far as they could go. “Thi-i-i-i-is big!” he squealed.
“And what was his name?”
“Mmm...” the boy thought hard for a few seconds before bouncing excitedly on the tall man's shoulders. “Julian!” he yelled happily.
His father chuckled. “And why is that?”
“Because his eyes were like jewels.”
The father contemplated this answer for a few seconds before laughing wholeheartedly and patting his son's knees. “That's a good answer.”
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First and foremost, I like the idea -- not something that's really been touched on a whole lot, or from what I know, it hasn't. And, like what had been mentioned before, I agree that the first line hooks your in magnificently; you can really imagine it as though you're standing there. It's not overtly descriptive, to the point of making you bored, but the imagery is just enough to make it relatable for the reader, without losing its perfection.
I also really liked the emotion of the characters -- their interaction. I think that its seems mostly genuine, and you can almost feel the charisma from the child's kindred spirit. I like that he doesn't transcend into an adult state of mind, like what happens with some writers, but instead he stays innocent. I really like that, when he saw the boy/ merboy "Julian", he was at first wary, but then smiled -- an exceptionally child-like action.
Stylistically, there's not much I can pick on, since it seems that you've either got impeccable writing, or you've already edited it a bit yourself. I did notice this:
"He left through the hallway, into lab four, and left his son to his own devices."
The double "left" makes it seem a little redundant. I might suggest "He walked through/ towards the hallway ... and left his song to his own devices." I dunno, something that makes it seem less superfluous.
That aside, everything look good. I hope you continue with this.
*son. Ironic that I mess up when giving you grammar advice. -.-
I really liked this story. It's an intriguing idea and worked well. You also have great writing skills and don't make many errors if at all.
You've got a really good foundation for a story here and I hope to see more.
~wishuponafallenstar~
From the first senstence I really liked this a lot. First off though-"His father smiled loving back at him." I would change 'loving' to 'lovingly.'
Keep writing, never stop!
"The little boy giggle uncontrollably" --'giggle' to 'giggled.' there a just a little more mistakes, nothing to big, so you may wanna glance over that. Over all i like the atmospere and tone of this. The sentences could use a little more flow to them though. Otherwise, lovely work! I like this quite a bit