16+

D --> Just getting started...

Warning: This work has been rated 16+.

D - ->  Nothing's ever good enough for anyone. It's always something like your "Too fat"or"Too Skinny" or maybe you should "Be more like your brother/sister". Maybe I don't want to be like him.I don't want to be constantly compared to him. "Oh my god your brothers are SO F*CKING Cute" That's nice " Your brothers so cool" Awesome " Why can't you be like your brothers!?' Well maybe because I like who I am,you know like not a douche and I LIKE to appreciate a women and RESPECT a women and NOT call her a "Dirty ass lesbian" or Dumb ass Bitch" whenever they get me a little frustrated Is there such thing as "perfection"? No, Of course not but to most people that's all that matters. Do they really have to be such assholes to girls All the Freaking time? I mean like seriously,is it so hard to tell a girl " Hey,you look nice today?" It doesn't really matter to me if I just met you or if you don't agree. Wait a minute! ,You don't want to telling your girlfriend that she looks nice? Oh wait and that I should stop talking to her too? Well maaaybe if you respected her or talked too her this wouldn't be an issue. Whatever I guess I'm done here for now. Later.

Comments & reviews · 3
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User avatar
Deanie
Review
Deanie wrote a review · Sun May 26, 2013 5:01 pm

Hi Michigo,

I'm with indie on this. It seems more like you should put it in a blog. It's not really a literary piece. On the other hand, I know this about your thoughts so lets talk about that.

Trust me, it's better off being yourself and standing out, then blending in and doing what others tell you. This is basically the biggest example of peer pressure I can find. Stay yourself, and stay true, because I think that what you believe to be right is right in this case. And I think you should hold onto that.

Yes, people are going to say things behind your back, and even to your face. They may say things even when you think you can't hear. And maybe you'll crack. Maybe you won't. But that depends on how many people you have supporting you here and somewhere else, in what you believe is right. And it also depends on how much you really believe in what you call right.

All I can do is wish you best of luck on that. This doesn't really seem like a review to me either, more like a comment on a blog. But I hope you remember it nonetheless.

Deanie x

User avatar
indieeloise
Review

This really is more of a rant than a literary piece, and belongs in a more appropriate setting like a blog. Now, don't get me wrong - it is completely fine to express your personal feelings in writing. We all do it from time to time! But you need to convey it to the reader in a way that they can identify/relate, or at least feel pity, towards. This paragraph, for what it's worth, really has no depth because as the readers, we don't know anything about the character, the brother, and where/who all the sexist phrases and cursing is coming from. If this was really more of a diary entry, then I would leave it be, but if it's something you want other people to read, if you are writing for more than yourself, than I would consider revision.

~Indie.

User avatar
Diana2357
Comment

Michigo. This piece seems pretty complicated, but you did a good job expressing your annoyance with people who expect too much from you. Nice prose and I can sense your anger not only through your chosen words but through the series of questions. Keep writing.



"Beneath this mask, there is more than flesh. Beneath this mask, there is an idea, Mr. Creedy, and ideas are bulletproof."
— V for Vendetta