Hello!
RandomTalks here with a short review!
I really liked your way of narration. It felt like snippets taken from someone's journal. At times, I felt like I was intruding some private moments, observations that weren't meant to be read by another person. And your way of narration made it feel all the more personal. It made more sense when I reached the end and realized that this was indeed drawn from personal experiences. On that note, I know its been years, but if you are reading, I am really sorry for your loss.
Now moving on with the review! I really liked your decision to keep each section of the narration short and separate. It made it feel like we were glimpsing into random, private moments of a person's life. What's more interesting is that we did not need to have any prior context to actually invest ourselves in the story. We still felt attached to the narrator, and we enjoyed the little snippets he/she provides from their life. The shortness of the sections actually adds a kind of finality to them, like moments in a person's life that are gone forever.
I also liked how you painted a picture of the relations between the members of the family without actually ever introducing them to us. For example, we don't know any of the names that kept cropping up on this short narrative and yet, it did not really matter. I could still imagine the narrator's cousins and the siblings as if I had known them for a long time. Even the narrator's opinion of certain relatives were so strong that the reader feels compelled to listen and believe them.
You have portrayed a really short and simple story here with much deeper significance than one realizes at first glance. Your writing style and grammar is very well-developed and I did not face any road blocks even once while reading. You have a way of subtly infusing emotions into text and it works wonderfully on page.
This was a great and simple story and I enjoyed reading it very much!
Keep writing and have a great day!
Points: 82352
Reviews: 659
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