Dried Streams

The words in this poem are very beautiful. I can really feel where the root of the emotion in the poem is coming from(I have no idea if that made any sense). I personally have written poems myself most stuff like this and you did way better than I would have. Overall this poem is amazing and I only recommend one thing and make sure you punctuate the stanzas but other than that your poem is beautiful.

Hello, FlamingPhoenix here with a review for you on your poem in this lovely day.

Okay so I see this is your first poem, so I'll try to help you as best I can.

Okay so I'm going to start out by talking about the few things that I saw that can be fixed. Okay let's start.

So the first thing I saw was that you don't have any punctuation. Now this is okay with some things, but when you don't have commas and stuff like that, it's hard to pick up the way you want your reader to read your work. Because with out punctuation you poem fells a little rushed. So maybe read through your poem and see where is the best place to put some commas and stuff. I'll show you a place you can put some punctuation.

Degrading me and once loving beats

Makin me think again

How bad was I or I am

Hello there Mg2660

I am Kostia and I will give you a brief review and my humble opinion on this poem of yours!

I will start with the review and I will include my opinion in the end.

The title: I really liked your title, it was powerful and imaginative, representing the dramatic synthesis of this poem. So very good choice of title! Well done!

Gramar, Vocubulary and phrasing:

The words you used were for the most part were strong, emotional and somber. It was simple and easy to read. I believe you made a good choice of words to express the emotional distress you wanted. I like the fact that you didn't use complicated and long words and that you decided to keep it as simple as possible.

I don't have any grammar comments to note. Everything seems to be okay, however I could be mistaken since I am not a native speaker.

Structure:

So there were some issues here. I don't know wether it was intentional or the site just messed with your formating but you should add stanzas to that. If the site messed up with the formating of the poem try presing (shift) and (enter) together to create gaps between the lines.

If not I would recomend you to seperate it to stanzas. Even if your poem is small, it would look better with stanzas.

You didn't choose to make your verses rhyme which is totally okay for the present poem. I don't mind free verse writing, on the contrary I think it is very fiting in some cases.

However be careful of the verses that do rhyme because that can be confusing for the readers.
E.g.

"And it was no different tonight

That soulful yet poisonous sight"

As I always say if parts of it rhyme then free verse writing is not a good choice for it.

Other than that I was really confused with the following verse:

"Degrading me and once loving beats"

I didn't quite get what you meant here.


Suggestions:

"How bad was I or I am"

I think you should rephrase here it would sound better if it was a bit altered. If I was you I would make that two verses. But the way you have it now is just fine as well.

Other than that Ireally liked the closing verses, they made your ending very strong and beautiful:

"Those dried streams

Unerased Untouched

By expected hands"

With that being saidI would like to note that personaly I would preffer the word "loving"
rather "expected "here.

My opinion:

I believe this was an honnest poem written with deep feelings. The content of it was very emotional and dramatic. This part was very fairly executed however I believe it needs some work on the imagery. Over all I liked it. It was a good read. Good for you!

Keep writing!

Best regards
Kostia