Each Day

First off although this is not your typical hykui since all lines are 7 symbols not the 5-7-5 symbol rule it doesn't matter as much depending on the person you meet. I liked how it was about god and it was just simple which is sometimes better than going on and on I like how your ending rhyme " pray, stray, day" Other than that a really good job well done.

As the reviewer below says, this is not properly a haiku. However I have encountered others who hold the syllables per line is less important than the total syllables, so I guess it's a matter of opinion.
Another thing I read once about haikus (I am not too sure about this) is that you need a break, or full stop, after the first OR second line. I wouldn't mention it but I think it would help the structure. If you insert "and" twixt the first and second line it would empathise the ending (keep the syllables the same by changing listen to hear) which is where methinks this poem is lacking.
Hope this helps,
Take That You Fiend!

Hello Messenger,

I'm here to give you what you will hopefully consider some good feedback on this poem of yours. I recognize that it's an older piece, written back in October, but I hope that what I have to say helps you come up with something new to spend that 7k of yours on.

Please read everything before thinking I'm being mean. I've always felt dessert should be the last course.
So, the poem itself is pretty bland in my opinion. You have no adjectives, no use of any punctuation but periods, no use of enjambment, figurative language, but basic personification of 'God' that people tend to accept as not personification due to their belief systems.

Also, this is not a haiku or a senryu which some of the other reviewers seemed to think. Haiku requires 5-7-5 with syllable count and you have 6-6-6. The difference between a senryu and a haiku is that the haiku deals with nature as a subject and senryu deals with people. While there has been a lot of overlapping as of late, that was the original difference.

This being said, it's alright that it's not a senryu or a haiku. Short poems do not have to be in the Japanese style. There are plenty of reasons why it is not necessary to write in one of these two styles, and yet write a short poem. I'm just saying that to help dispel what appears to be popular belief about haikus.

That being said I'll get on with the review.

Within your first line we establish that you're not talking to the audience, but for the audience. For me this creates a problem because while it is something you assume every other person feels in the world, that assumption could lose readers, and there's not much to read, so they'll read this, and then be done with it; put it out of their heads. We don't want our writing to be forgotten so easily, so we have to work on creating something memorable for the reader to hold onto after they've read it. For me, that's part of what this poem lacks. While you do well at picking three words relating to God and putting them in simple lines that emulate the ideas you're trying to convey, they're nothing new.

To make this better, I'd suggest taking these three basic sentences and using them as springboards to go into further information about how God listens, what proof do you feel? What sort of things does God hear when God listens? Look for interesting new ways to talk about this religious experience of praying that is more of how you feel about it and your experience because chances are, if you make this mean something to you, it's going to mean more to other people as well. They might have the same experience that you do, and having you share that experience could give them something to say 'Yes, that's exactly it,' or 'I never thought about it like that.'

Personally I think the strongest point of this poem is your second line. I know this poem doesn't have much to go on, but establishing that parental role for God of chiding people really gives him an attitude and a persona which wouldn't have been established if you stayed away from using that one word, chide. For me, that's the point where I smirked and recognized that while this was a beginning attempt at a poem, it could be something more, and something fun.

I seriously recommend that you write freely about this and about your personal experiences. Drop the 'we' attitude and go to you and me. It's not a recommendation that I do frequently, but I feel like if you take that step, and you work with it on a personal encounter, this wouldn't be a poem I could write, or Hallmark could write. You have to find something that is unique for you to say about each of these things and express it so that we can see the narrator, and relate to the narrator. Whether that is fibbing completely and making up stories that go along with these three things in a realistic way by creating characters, or using personal experience, I think you can do better.

Hey Messenger, I have a review for you!
I'm Strange, I believe we met before. To be honest, I'm not really religious. The subject is so confusing. Its like a great movie, but it has some plot holes here and there. I'm not saying I don't like this poem, which is ironic.
I really did like this poem. It sent out a sweet message. Short and sweet. The pattern is nice. In the end, this made me smile. You wrote a good poem. I love this poem, thinking about it. I need to read more of your poems. This is strong, and shows people the message clear and simple. Heck, I want a religion now because of this.
Overall, bravo.
Strange gives you...
9.3/10
Great job
Keep writing
Stay groovy

-The Aquabats! Approve!-

So glad this is nice and short Anyway, I like this haiku because:
1) It rhymes. Many haikus don't rhyme so it's nice to stumble across one that does.
2) I love God so I can relate to this poem.
3) I just like haikus in general. It's neat that you decided to write one.
4) I like how each line begins with the same word,"you"
Write more haikus^^

PeanutPhoebe, here for a review!! (if I can think of enough things to say about something this short to make it long enough to be a review)

Well done!! I'm not very good at poetry, so I really appreciate it. I like the beat of this, to me it almost turns into a little song. Love the words, they just really capture your thoughts. *taps fingers on keys trying to think of something else to say* Hmm... Anyway, you did good, keep writing!!

Lady Celestia, the Golden Knight.

*crosses fingers and hopes this is long enough to get my team points*

What a lovely little haiku! I am no good at them, so well done for writing this one. Personally, I love how short poems can hold so much meaning, and here is one of them. I'm not religious, but the power in the poem shows how much a faith could mean. Well done on this little haiku, keep writing them! One more excellent point, and I don't see this often in haikus, is that it rhymed, so, again, well done!

This is really good! I never knew such a short poem could send shivers down my spine! Keep on writing these! El'fabulus. I can only rhyme, and write stories. I knowa God-Given talent when I see one. Look at my attempts at a haiku:

I like to eat pie
but sometimes I choke and die
Totally worth it

XD Don't stop writing!!! ~Andy the not so fabulous~