Chapter III: My new crew.
The next day (Thursday) was expected to be the same thing all over again for Seiji, or like Tom and Tyreese nicknamed him “Forever Alone”. Seiji did all his typical morning things. Then he got into the bus in order to go to college. At the moment of getting there, surprisingly, there was Tom and Tyreese were waiting for him at the gate. Seiji recognized them at first sight but he did not care about them; he just ignored them.
“Hey man, where are you going?” Tom asked.
“What? Seiji asked”. “What do you mean by “what”?” Tom asked.
“We are classmates, right?” Tyreese said.
“Affirmative, but that is not a reason of trying to establish a conversation with me, so I might see you some other time guys,” Seiji said.
Seiji did not want to have friends because he liked to be alone. He literally rejected Tom and Tyreese’s attempt of friendship. Nevertheless, something really good was about to happen to Seiji. Seiji’s History teacher assigned him an indeed difficult task. Seiji was completely breezy about it; he did not think that the homework would make him work. As long as he was doing the homework, he realized that it was not as easy as he thought. The problem was that the assignment was in groups of three; he did not pay attention to that whatsoever; and he was doing it by himself. Suddenly someone called at his door, the doorbell rang 3 times, and due to the noise that it made Seiji got mad; he needed to change his attitude. At the door, he was very surprised because the person who was calling at the door was Tom and beside Tom, there was also Tyreese.
“What are you guys doing here?” Seiji asked.
“Did not you hear that the homework is in groups of three? And we are just two and we thought that you did not have anyone who to work with yet, so we decided to come and ask you to join us,” Tom said.
“Did the teacher establish that?” Seiji asked.
“Yes, he did. I told you Tom, he did not know about that,” Tyreese said looking at Tom.
“Will you join us anyways?” Tom asked.
“If that so, I have no choice, I will join you guys then,” Seiji said.
After that talk at the door, Tom and Tyreese asked Seiji if they could come in. Seiji hesitated but let them go inside anyway. Tom and Tyreese were checking the house out and asked Seiji for something fresh, something fresh to drink.
“There it is,” Seiji said pointing to a bunch of tools.
“You have got nothing” Tyreese said.
“Yes, I know that,” Seiji said.
His X-fly nothing was! He had not even begun with it. However, something was wrong there; Seiji was not the kind of person who liked to do with others but alone. But why was he being that confident with those guys? Seiji felt very comfortable with them; it seemed that they were getting along pretty good. When they finished their grouped homework, they started to talk about their lives and both Tom and Tyreese talked about their lives as well as they heard about Seiji’s.
“Now we understand why your behavior is like this,” Tom said.
Seiji told them about his entire life. He told how he was always by his own. His mother always working, how his father abandoned him and his mother; and how he had no one to whom he could share stuff with. Tom and Tyreese were amused when they heard about Seiji’s life. A while later, they talked about stuff they liked and stuff they did not like. They had different liking, nothing in common.
“Let’s make a pact”, Tyreese said.
“What kind of pact?” Tom asked.
“Okay, this is what we will do, we are never going to be part; we are going to be friends from now on, what do you think?” Tyreese said.
“It sounds pretty cool, Tom said”.
“Are we going to be friends? I have never a friend and I think that it would not be a problem,” Seiji said.
They continued chilling out at Seiji’s place until it got dark. It seemed like a new stage was about to start in Seiji’s life. He was about to go through a phase where he had never been in. That night Seiji barely slept because he was doing a lot of thinking about what had happened in his house earlier. When he fell asleep, there was a big smile drawn on his face.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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Hi! there Mersize:)

This was so cute. Tom & Tyreese's effort to be friends with Seiji and Seiji's leap on breaking the walls that isolate him from the rest. It really makes me happy to know how one values friendship. They want to be friends with him & they did not give up easily. Just wow.
Another one, the title took my interest & it makes me wonder of what kind of life have they lived before or about to live that would become their yesterday; it felt like the main concern of the story. I haven't read the former chapters, so feel free to correct/inform me if you had mentioned it
I just have a small correction to make:
We're not yet on the climax but this seemed to be a nice story.
Keep going
> Cha
Hello again Mersize, Wolf here for another review.
So I'll just start out with some nitpicks:
Two things:
First, I mentioned this last review, but try not to use parenthesis to put in information, because sometimes they can be really distracting and it looks unprofessional. This information can easily be squeezed in here, like saying, "The next day was Thursday, and Seiji expected it to be the same thing all over again..."
Second, I find this really awkwardly worded. I had to reread it at least three times before I finally understood what was trying to be said. Personally, I don't think that last part is needed. This may contradict myself, but even though details are important, fluff details are not. Take this quote, for example, and remove the part about Seiji's nickname. It still makes sense, right? It doesn't help us understand anything really (since we already understand Seiji's a loner), right? It's not really describing anything, right? So why is it there, it's just fluff. Try avoid using fluff details, but little details that help develop the characters, or the plot, or give us understanding of motives, etc. are really important. Moral of the story, cut that last part out.
Mentioned this before in a review on Chapter one, and you do a good job of making sure it's correct through most of this, but I see you must have missed this one spot in editing. Here too:
Just be sure to fix those. Also don't forget that every time there is new dialogue, a new sentence must be started. Usually you're on top of this, but there is one spot where it is forgotten (right in the beginning). Nothing a good reread won't catch.
Like I mentioned last review, be very careful of word order. There are spots where the same thing is done like last time, and it makes it really hard to read and understand. Most of all, it will ruin the flow, since we, the readers, will have to go back and think about what is trying to be said. For the most part you do a nice job of keeping the correct word order, but be careful for those slip ups.
Two more things that I'll touch on here. First, and I'm not trying to be mean when I say this, but the vocabulary here is very basic. The dialogue tags here really only have two words, said or asked. That not only gets tedious when reading, but also very boring as well. Try finding other words to put in there to show the emotions in the dialogue. Words like cried, shouted, whispered, murmured, hissed, etc.
Finally, there are some spots that are also really repetitive. Though, I don't just mean with repeating the same phrase, I mean by telling us the same idea. For example, in the first dialogue, we hear Seiji rejecting Tom and Tyreese, but then it tells us in blunt words that again. Try to avoid doing that, because that leads back to the fluff details I rambled about earlier. I'm sorry if this was harsh, but I'm only trying to help. Keep Writing,
~Wolfare