The Marten

Hello,

This was a good rhyming exercise, and you were definitely able to transport me to a cool, simplified woodland setting. However, I think your meter was a tad off. A good rhyming stanza does its best to match the meter and syllable count of its precedent and antecedent lines -- though, the latter is less necessary. For me, your meter here stumbles. It doesn't flow. Read it out loud. Stanzas 4 and 5 are too cluttered by "ands" and other speedbump punctuation that the meter is thrown off a tad.

Other than that, I can't argue with anything else. Your word choice was a little dull, but then again, you don't have a lot to work with when it comes to rhyming poetry. You managed to keep yourself from sounding juvenile and feeble in your rhymes, but you could definitely improve on making them more complex. I hold nothing against your first and second stanzas; however, your rhyming pairs get a little dull after that. What's more the words "lithe and limber" are used in conjunction often. Try thinking outside the box when it comes to your word choice.

The best recommendation I can give to you is to read some more poetry. If you're interested solely in rhyming poetry, pick up some TS Eliot. However, I suggest that you broaden your horizons and explore non-rhyming poetry as well. It's much more versatile, and expressive, in my opinion.

-Kylan

Well, as I warned I'm not a poet, so don't take my words for gospel.

Now it was a nice subject, refreshingly light, and the rhyming sounded natural, so well done. The only thing that you might want to look at is the syllable counts of the stanzas towards the end. At the beggining there's ~11 syllables per line, but it drops down to ~8 later on. Maybe you could bulk up the later verses, or cut down the earlier ones so that the rhythm stays the same.

Good job. I usually don't get much out of poetry (unless it's rude), but this made me smile.

Hey Merlin!

Hehe This poem made me smile, it's very cute. The subject is very original, so yay for that! But let me just remind you, not all poetry has to rhyme, it kind of works here, but just a little reminder . Very refreshing from most poetry I read on here, awesome subject to write about!

I like it! Kind of an odd premise for a poem, but aren't all ideas for poems that way? I wish it were longer, though. It seems to short to please. Keep writing!