The Art of Writing Condensed into RPG Form

This is just a little something I wrote for fun. Basically, it’s a look at writing through the eyes of RPG skill lists. Thought it might be kinda funny. Some of the skills are standalone, others have multiple levels.

Angst I: Slightly lower all stats of one enemy.

Angst II: Slightly lower three stats of all enemies.

Angst III: Lower all stats of all enemies.

Amnesia: Cure all status effects.

As you know, Bob: Confuse enemy.

Bildungsroman I: For next two turns, slightly raise three stats.

Bildungsroman II: For next three turns, slightly raise all stats.

Bildungsroman III: For next four turns, raise all stats.

Chekov’s Gun: Becomes more powerful the longer the fight drags on.

Cliffhanger: Give up turn to sharply raise Attack and Speed for next turn.

Comic Relief I: Distract one enemy.

Comic Relief II: Distract all enemies.

Comic Relief III: Distract all enemies for remainder of battle.

Deus ex Machina I: Wound one enemy, lightly wound all others.

Deus ex Machina II: Wound all enemies.

Deus ex Machina III: Kill one enemy, wound all others.

Foreshadowing I: In two turns, all enemies will lightly wounded or three stats will be slightly raised.

Foreshadowing II: In two turns, all enemies will be wounded or three stats will be raised.

Foreshadowing III: In two turns, all enemies will be wounded and all stats will be raised.

Hook: Powerful attack that can only be used on the first turn.

Infodump: Sharply lower speed of all enemies.

Plot Twist: Switch HP percentages with an enemy.

Prologue I: Automatically slightly lower speed of one enemy at battle start.

Prologue II: Automatically slightly lower speed of all enemies at battle start.

Prologue III: Automatically lower speed of all enemies at battle start, possibly confuse one or more enemies.

Purple Prose I: Distract enemy.

Purple Prose II: Distract or possibly stun enemy.

Purple Prose III: Stun one enemy and distract all others.

Romantic Subplot: Sharply raises Attack, has slight chance of lowering it.

Sue-Ify I: Raise three stats for five turns, then sharply lower all of them.

Sue-Ify II: Raise all stats for four turns, then lower all of them. Twice.

Sue-Ify III: Sharply raise all stats for three turns, then sharply lower all of them. Twice.

Telcom I: Summon rabbit, songbird, or cat to aid in fight.

Telcom II: Summon falcon, wolf, or horse to aid in fight.

Telcom III: Summon dragon, griffin, or unicorn to aid in fight.

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Merlin34
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No, I've never played D&D. As for why I made it, it was just sort of an impulse write.

Clever, very clever. I actually get some of the things you've described strangely enough. Did you just finished playing a D&D game? Personally I found Plot Twist, Prologues and Cliffhanger to be particularly funny. What made you write this? Was there a reason or did the idea come on the fly?



perceive me if you want to, i will exist regardless
— soundofmind