Let the rain fall down, falling, falling,
And wash upon the shore.
Let it move up in the stream
And travel a new earth.
Let it see the dragons in the skies,
The beasts that prowl the ground.
Let it see the men, the dwarves, the elves,
And beings of every kind.
Let it feel the earth beneath its feet
And touch the veins of every leaf.
Let it travel all this strange new world
And hear the sights and sounds,
So that it might come back to me
And tell me what it found.
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Oh and I forgot. technically you CAN hear sights by the vibrations they make, because, if you think about it, a vibration isn't a "sound" in the sense that it's an actual noise, but it's one more due to the fact the the ear is the one to register it to the brain, you see? so as long as there is movement, there is the ability to hear sights. =3 Hoped that helped you out!
- Winter
basically, what I wanted to get across was my longing for the ability and the possibility that other worlds exist and that I could go to them. Worlds with magic where water could talk to people and and where dragons, magic, and everything you could ever dream of (as well as somethings that you can't) were possible, if not probable, and you could, as they say, "live happily ever after".
Let it move up in the streamLet me ask you something...and please forgive me if I sound rude or impertinent because I couldn't think of any better way to phrase this...but did you ever read the title, perchance? Because when I said, "Let it move up on the stream", what I was trying to say was that the storm was moving up the stream, though I can kind of see where you got confused because when it said "in" it was actually supposed to be "on", sooo...yeah, my bad. Sorry for the confusion.
- Winter
this actually sort of, in a way, reminded me of a modernized William Blake poem, in that it heavily referenced fantastical realms and creatures. HOWEVER, i don't think it really had much of an, er, message. it was really just talking about rain in a fantasy world. this sounds like only a beginning to a poem of epic proportions. if you added more to it, and went into greater detail describing this Tolkien-esque world that you've created, then it would be a pretty good poem. also, you misused some of your words, like when you said "And hear the sights and sounds". you can't hear sights, sorry. but anyways, make longer poems, and just for formatting reasons, keep the lines closer together. it's just poor formatting to have a poem like this with triple spacing. anyways, keep on reading and writing, and the good poetry will come naturally.
Pax,
zalarus
This is a beautiful picture but one question:
[/quote]Let it move up in the stream [quote]
What are you trying to say/ show us? I got stuck on the fact that water cant go upstream.
I really liked this. I thought the spaces between the lines were an overkill though. Sorry, I'm OC. Anyway, this reminded me of Emerson's poetry. Some of poems talk about nature and they're all really vivid. Like this poem. It was almost like looking at a painting. Except it's all brought on by words. So all in all, great job.