Published March 12, 2009
{This might get kind of confusing, but just so you know, I used the form of a girl to portray a snow storm, so be prepared for a weird way of writing.}
{Snow White}
The snow falls down,
Purest white.
It flutters down,
Out of the sky.
Landing softly,
Not a sound.
While all are sleeping,
Unawares.
All except a single girl,
Who only wore a nightgown.
She walked outside,
Into the night.
And as she walked,
She paused, looked back.
At the cottage,
Aglow behind her.
She smiled sadly
Shrugged and turned.
Walking far away
Without a word.
Claeren* was gone.
{* Claeren is Welsh for Snow White.}
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Hi, Claeren! I'm Music.
Hey there! Overall, I thought it was a pretty good poem. You used description fairly well. It just irked me when you changed tenses. Also, the letters starting each line should only be capitalized if they start a new sentence.
Anyway, nice job! Keep it up! Gold star for you.
Love,
Music.