Hi Mentalist!
I just wanted to ask a bunch of questions which will hopefully be helpful.
First of all, I kind of think it's strange. He's a pick pocket and they're sending an entire army after him? Why? Does he need an entire army to stop him? Why not just a small task force of highly trained warriors? Has he done anything to deserve it? Has he escaped them before? Has he offended a particular person? Someone rich, of course, but who did he steal from? A dictator? Is this why he's getting this entire army after him? Does he know this? Is that why he stole from the guy? Did he steal something particularly valuable, besides the pocketbook? What? Did he not recognize the value of that something and consider it useless? If so, what was it really?
Why does the leader stop and wait for the pick pocket to make a couple of witty comments? If the pick pocket is really that bad, why doesn't the leader just kill him? Why are the guards using arrows as a means of attack? Arrows are long-range ... swords and stones would be far better for this sort of thing since the pick-pocket is at close range. Plus, that way they can surround him instead of having to chase him, which gives a better feeling of imminent death.
Leather is cheap? Why? What's used instead? Some sort of leaf or husk? I'm guessing it's not a synthetic material, as they're using swords and not guns or anything else that requires chemical modification. Also, cheap knock-offs generally require some sort of chemical modification... what the blazes are you referring to as far as materials go? And yes, this is important to me because I'm a biochemical engineer and this is a field I've researched and could get into.
Why is he the town's "#1 Most Wanted"? My town is pretty sleepy and yes, thievery does get on the front page, but we still have our share of murders and abuse cases. Why aren't they getting that status? Does murder/rape/cruelty/betrayal/deception simply not exist in this world? Why? And this is mostly a problem because you didn't mention the people who should be the most wanted. If you were being sarcastic and mentioned these guys, there wouldn't be this problem.
So yeah. Not your typical critique, but hopefully that will help you! The story is written very well... you have a very nice style! There's just some large gaps of description in your story that seem a little strange... hopefully if you expand, it'll be better.
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