I write the dumbest things when I'm bored.
Feel free to laugh at the extent of my dumbness in this...story/script/or whatever you call it.
Not intended to insult the characters in here.
They just had some personalities I could use.
Short, dumb and completely ridiculous.
_________________________________________________________________
Superman: Stupid vampire.
Edward: What’s this problem people have with vampires? It’s so sickening!
Superman: You are too hot. I, Superman, will not tolerate any competition in being hunky. Begone, you vile creature.
Edward: Vile creature? I know I am, but what are you, pretty-boy? Who’s the one who ended up with the gorgeous Bella Swan? Me! And who did you get stuck with? Ugly Lois Lane. Big deal.
Superman: What the-?? How dare you insult her? I’ll have to teach you a lesson.
*advances towards Edward*
Edward: *snorts* As if I’m scared of you! Bring it on! *waves butt at Superman*
*Superman shoots lasers from his eyes and zaps Edward on the butt*
Edward: (*&^%$#@! You’re going to pay for that! Fortunately, I know your weakness. HA! According to “The illustrated guide to Superman”, I just need some KRYPTONITE!
BRB (Be right back)!
Superman: At least I have a book written about me! What about you? Huh? HUH? You just got some book called Twilight! It only costs $17.07! And how much does MY book cost? $17.08! BEAT THAT.
*Too late, Edward has run off to find some Kryptonite*
Superman: Darn it.
*Three seconds later, Edward returns.*
*Holds big green rock in his hand*
Edward: BEHOLD! Kryptonite! Die Superman, die!
*Nothing happens*
Edward: Huh? What’s wrong? Is the Kryptonite expired? *shakes big green rock*
Superman: *rolls eyes* That’s a gigantic booger, you idiot. Kryptonite glows.
Edward: WHO’RE YOU CALLING-
*The Hulk stumbles by*
Hulk: D-uh. Me angry! You won’t like me when I’m angry! I smash you! SMASHY SMASH SMASH! RAWR!!!
*Charges at Edward*
Edward: Wha-?! ARGH. Feel the wrath of my hotness! *flings big green rock aside and poses in macho positions*
*Suddenly, the light shines on Edward and he sparkles. A lot*
Hulk: RAWR!!! Me can’t see! Me can’t see!!! *shields eyes and trips over big green rock*
Edward: I’m so sparkly! WHEEEEE!!! I didn’t know I could be even hotter!
Superman: *hands on hips* I believe you are scintillating, doofus.
Edward: Look at me!!! I’m scintillating!!! *prances around in circles*
Superman: *sighs exasperatedly* what a bunch of losers. I’m leaving.
*flies off*
*Edward still prancing*
Hulk: *no longer dazed from fall* D-uh! She PRETTY!!! *points at gigantic booger* She PRETTY!!!!! *picks up booger* you pretty! Pretty Hulk! Pretty green!!! Me like!
D-uh, Hulk like you! *cradles booger and skips away*
Edward: WHEEEEE!!! I’m so sparkly, look at me!
*enters Bella*
Bella: Edward? Where are you Eddy?
Edward: BELLA BAAAAABY! Over here! Look! I’m so hot!
Bella: Yes, yes, I am aware of how gorgeous you are, you don’t have to- EEK! *turns around and spots sparkly Edward*
*Unfortunately, Edward’s sparkly-ness was too much for Bella’s human eyes, she goes blind and gets brain damage… then she dies. How sad.*
Edward: Shoot. There goes my one and only true love. *shrugs* oh well, to the Volturi, AWAAAAAY!!!
______________________________________________________________________________________________
The End.
Sorry for wasting your time.
Hopefull someone finds it mildly amusing.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,611 Literary Works • 672,933 Reviews
HAHA!! A+!!!!
i love how you made superman the only smart one. Because lets be honest, he is. And i have to wonder how large this booger is to have the hulk mistake it as a woman...
OOH!! and i liked how you killed Bella, because i really dont like her...and you make Edward really conceited. And sparkly. But was that truly his only defense? Sparkling? i for one, was disappointed in him. And since when are comic books 17.08? what ever, i loved it!! you need to write more!!
This was HILARIOUS!!!!!!! I loved it!!!!! It actually sounds like something I wrote once, just with different characters (long story). It was very random; that and the fast pace, banter, and highly exaggerated occurences made it very funny. In fact, I started laughing near the beginning and couldn't stop till the end, and my mom was all looking at me like, "What the heck is with you?" Oh well, very good, no nitpicks this time. You're lucky you escaped, but you shan't next time, muwahahahaha.
Please add me as a friend!!!!!!
teehee!! As an open Twilight hater I enjoyed this. A lot. Completely not a waste of time!! I loved it!! Haha i can totally picture Edward dancing in circles because hes so hot...sigh Hulk should have stepped on him when he had the chance...
You should definitely get bored more often! That was really great. I was laughing to myself like a lunatic making people look at me wierdly.
Ok, i'm gonna go try save Edward. To the Volturi, AWAAAAAY!
PM me when you have something else posted, that was seriously awesome!
Hahahahaa I laughed for atleast a minute when reading this:
I really liked the dialogue, it was funny and really catchy! keep it up:D I'd deafinately read more of these - just the giant bogger thing was a bit too dumb for my sence of humor=)
Oops sorry I accidentally pushed the submit button. Anyways... I really liked this. I have naver read twilight but if it is as funny as that I definitely want to ! ! ! My friends said the movie sucked. Oh well. Nice one.
TREE
Ha! so funny
so, so, so , so , so so, so, so, so, so funny, again. Do not underestimate your self you are very, very, very, very , very very, very funny.
i was laughing the whole way through, i was like hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah * gasps for air and stops reading for a moment, catches wind then goes back to it* hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah * falls on the floor unable to breath through laughing* hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha *finishes and goes to review while still laughing slowly getting down to small chuckles, to scratchy breathes.*
Yup, thanks Dem!
I'm not planning to write another one anytime soon.
Haha, Meep. You're dangerous when you get bored, are you not?
Scripts that make fun of Twilight are sooo clichéed, but that certainly doesn't mean I would not enjoy them.
That's pretty thick, coming from the supposedly most pretty-boyest creature in the world. Haha.
Oh my, that word has gotten a whole new definition after this certain saga of blah. No one can ever say or write 'scintillate' again, without being blamed not original.
Hahaha.
Hahaha. Epic wins for the win!
So, Meep, thanks again for the read. You should really save your energy to something else, haha
See you around!
Demeter
xxx
LMFAO.
I freakin' loved this. So well written and I was laughing through the whole thing.
Although I am A Die-Hard-Twilight fan, I loved this. Mocking Edward is shockingly easy, and superman and The Hulk were such a great touch.
"Hulk: D-uh. Me angry! You won’t like me when I’m angry! I smash you! SMASHY SMASH SMASH! RAWR!!!
*Charges at Edward*
Edward: Wha-?! ARGH. Feel the wrath of my hotness! *flings big green rock aside and poses in macho positions*
*Suddenly, the light shines on Edward and he sparkles. A lot*
Hulk: RAWR!!! Me can’t see! Me can’t see!!! *shields eyes and trips over big green rock*
Edward: I’m so sparkly! WHEEEEE!!! I didn’t know I could be even hotter! "
Probably one of my favorite parts. I loved it. And I'm actually writing something quite similar, maybe we could work together?
I would like to see your copyright claim in legal black and white, Mr Amniel.
At some points this was hilarious, at others it was boring. HOWEVER I have a copyright issue! You stole my "oh well" line, I demand blood! Oh well...I can do without blood I guess...cookies then?
It wasn't the funniest I've ever seen, but it was pretty funny!
My favorite part was-
Edward: Shoot. There goes my one and only true love. *shrugs* oh well, to the Volturi, AWAAAAAY!!!
That was hilarious!
okay, i know everyone else already said it, but it was HILARIOUS!
sorry about the caps. i seriosuly laughed for 6 minutes and 18 seconds flat when I read this, and it took me about 1 and a half minutes to finish reading it.
you should get bored and do this again, maybe with a different set of interesting characters...
dont do too many at once though, cycle them, it just gets confusing when you have to remember alot of parts
Peace,
God.
gold star...
still laughing...
Oh my gawd that was so funny!
I love the ending and by the way, I was laughing all the way through!
GOLD STAR! GOLD STAR! GOLD STAR!
Ooh. I haven't checked this in a long time.
Glad to be able to induce laughter for you
Oh my friggin goodness! That was hilarious!!!!
RoryLegend:
Haha, really glad you liked it!
I shall try to get bored more often
Bwahahahaha! I freaking cannot get over how much I freaking love this freaking story! (Sorry i was seeing how many times I could say freaking in one sentence)
Anyways. Wow. I mean really huge big WOW! That was awesome.
Nobody shoot or pounce or anything but I am not a Twilight fan (I really don't like Bella so I enjoyed you killing her) and I LOVE superman (Smallville woot woot). So this was freaking awesome.
Some of my favorite parts:
Superman: What the-?? How dare you insult her? I’ll have to teach you a lesson.
*advances towards Edward*
Edward: *snorts* As if I’m scared of you! Bring it on! *waves butt at Superman*
*Superman shoots lasers from his eyes and zaps Edward on the butt*
((I can envision Edward Cullen shaking his butt at Superman))
Edward: Wha-?! ARGH. Feel the wrath of my hotness! *flings big green rock aside and poses in macho positions*
*Suddenly, the light shines on Edward and he sparkles. A lot*
((hehe haha oh that hurts..the laughing...haha ahhh! I love it!))
Edward: I’m so sparkly! WHEEEEE!!! I didn’t know I could be even hotter!
Superman: *hands on hips* I believe you are scintillating, doofus.
Edward: Look at me!!! I’m scintillating!!! *prances around in circles*
Superman: *sighs exasperatedly* what a bunch of losers. I’m leaving.
*flies off*
*Edward still prancing*
((okay thats it, I am giving you points for this amazing story))
I love it. Keep up the super duper work.
--Rory
Haha, thank you very much for your compliments and reviews!
I'll try to get bored more often
This is just too funny!! It's hilarious!
I have never read "Twilight" before but I've heard a lot-when I say a lot I mean colosal- amount of stuff about Edward, Bella, Jacob e.t.c.
But this is so funny!!
Best part for me was :
You should seriously become bored again.
Haha,
Thanks Angel of Death.
I love drawing, but i think its going to take me forever
to draw the comic, and i can't draw Edward's Adonis-like perfection
And Bella. So... scrap that idea
Glad you like it!
P.S: I love your display picture of the Pride & Prejudice movie.
It rocks big time
This was brilliant! I was rolling on the floor when I read this. An excellent parody I must say. My favorite part was the end where Bella dies and Edward is all like off to the volturri. As much as I love the Twilight series, it does deserve to be picked around with sometimes. I can picture everything that happened and I think this would look really cool as a cartoon. Great Job!!
~Angel
Googly & sokool:
Thanks! I really did do it out of boredom.
I didn't mean to kill of Edward and Bella,
But they fit the part! Oops.
Haha, anyway, best of luck when you try your own funny script.
Have you guys seen Snoink's Halloween with ____ script?
sorry, can't remember the name.
I think the ______ is uhh...Grif, Edward Cullen and Bulbasaur.
It was really good! Written by a professional.
See ya around!
Thanks for taking a look at my work!
Much much appreciated
Ohh, I really love it! It's really funny! Soo not a waste of time! I'm going to have to TRY and write one of these some times but I'll probably fail. Oh, well.
Great job, loved it!!
googly
How could you do this? How could you defile the most beloved and HOT vampire of our times? And killing off Bella was unforgiveable, as well as irreverent. In this... this... farce, Superman was clearly supposed to be the best character when in fact he doesn't even exist! You should really research your characters more, dear.
Heh. Heh. Heh.
I'm only joking, of course. Very nicely done - a wonderful parody, very funny. I'm going to have to write one of these myself sometime.
I loved the "Oh, well. To the Volturi, AWAAAAAYYY!" That was awesome. If I could do jumps like Edward, I'd totally say "AWAAAAY" before each one, just for fun.
*goes off sniggering*
Yours ever,
MademoiselleKool
Haha.
I REALLY ought to get bored more often.
But I'm currently working on a story,
So I don't think anything new would come out soon.
Anyways, did I give the impression I disliked Bella?
On the contrary, I'm one of those Twilight Saga fans.
Just that, I put in whatever character whose personality could be used.
I'll admit though, I do get annoyed with her sometimes. SOMETIMES.
Hehehe, this was hilarious! I love reading these thingies, they're much better than stories. One of my favorite parts was this:
Amazing. It seems like with the way you ended this that you really hate Bella. I can't really blame you though, I can't stand the girl either. She's ANNOYING.
Anyways, you should write another one. PM me when you do.
Ciao baby,
Dreamworx95
XOXO
Haha,
Thanks for the compliment!
I guess I should get bored more often
*rolls around on the floor laughing hysterically*
This was probably my favorite part:
I love these things! Totally wasn't a wast of time.
or...
To the Volturi! AWAAAAAY!!! whoosh! *disappears*