Published June 4, 2011
response to FlyerS's piece here.
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141,751 Literary Works • 675,680 Reviews
Locked, bud.
Since this is a month old I'm requesting a mod lock this to make sure newer pieces get reviewed.
I got the message but I really had to fight for it. I hate giving negative reviews but I didn't really like this one. Either it didn't make much sense or it's a piece of genius and it flew way over my head. And I agree with dragongirl about the lotion part. Almost made me gag.
I hate saying this but I really didn't like it, but I did like the message.
I like the message you have going here. ' Be your own person.' Very true. I attached this this quote, not only 'cause I like it, but because I was wondering if you meant to write 'it's' not 'is' since otherwise it doesn't really make sense.
I thought the whole snowflake idea was clever. One of my favorite parts in the poem.
Some of your images I didn't like.
Ok. Yuck. I'm sorry, but that is just gross, plus, sand isn't any grainier whether it is on an old man's back or not. Also milk like lotion? Nasty.
Anywho, I still like this poem just that one part was a little disturbing.
Well so long and happy writing.
~ Dragongirl
I understand you were trying to convey a message, and i got the message, but ti wasn't that strong, the words didnt seem to fit together and I really didnt get the poem. A valiant effort though, Keep Writing!