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On Wings of Fire: Chapter 2, Part 1

by Mea


A tiny bead of water rolled off the tip of a clock that sat atop a dusty bookshelf. This bookshelf overlooked an opulent study whose fine furniture was heavily disguised underneath a thick layer of rumpled parchment, haphazard piles of scrolls, and candle wax and ink stains. Wedged between a large mahogany writing desk and a large glass cabinet filled with jumbled trinkets was a simple oak table.

A wingless angel bent over this smaller desk, her eyes flicking down a trailing piece of parchment.

The water droplet splashed into the lower basin just as Cassia Lightweaver signed this last approval with a scribble rather than a flourish, rolling it into a scroll and stuffing it into a tube she’d hand to a messenger later. Puffing her cheeks and blowing the air out in a sigh, she tipped her chair back and looked up at the water clock. Its upper basin was about two-thirds full.

That meant Cassia had about twenty minutes to commit mild blasphemy.

Well, there wasn’t much point waiting. She’d set up the components a full three days ago. They should have gathered enough power to fuel a small divining spell by now.

She pushed her chair back and crouched at the edge of a large circle painted in gold trim on the floor. Protection runes were emblazoned along the inside of the circle, which was fifty years old and growing stronger every year. Her mother had always told her that whatever mistakes she made when practicing new spells, this circle would protect her. So far, it had.

What she wasn’t so sure about was the ring of thin wooden dominoes she had set up to spiral into the circle. Telling the future drew on the essence of Consequence, since the future was really just action after action crashing into each other. After setting them up like this, then leaving them for three days with all that potential for just one to fall over and the rest to cascade after it, they should be practically full of Consequence magic.

The key word being should, because this ritual was highly experimental. None of her mother’s books had any divination rituals in it, though Cassia knew they were a magic humans had once used. The angels had just never bothered to write them down, because why carry out a long and difficult ritual to decide what to do about the future when you could just listen for a feeling in your mote, or if it was really important, your Archpriest could just ask Mithrinde?

Unfortunately, the’ Archpriest wasn’t available right now. And Cassia didn’t have a mote to listen to. Hence the mild blasphemy.

She stepped carefully into the center of the circle, narrowly avoiding brushing the closest domino and knocking it over. She knelt in the wide inner circle, traced the runes, and muttered a few words, drawing the Endurance magic up and over herself. The circle was strong, and so it would protect her. The belief made the magic.

Cassia glanced out the window, but it was late afternoon, and the moon wasn’t visible. “I’m sorry, Mithrinde,” she whispered. Then she laid a finger on the domino and started the ritual.

Some magic was supposed to be easy. Mithrinde’s magic, given to her angels in the form of mote when they passed from child to youth, was meant to be as natural as breathing. Wings, light, illusion — these were Mithrinde’s gifts to her godformed.

Without a mote, Cassia didn’t have that kind of magic. But as the Grand Mage of Mithrinden, daughter of the former Grand Mage, she had been taught a harder, older magic, the same as learning to read and write. The magic humans used because they had no motes of their own. This magic was drawn from the very objects around you, partitioned into seven distinct Essences that reflected the object’s nature.

So as Cassia chanted words under her breath to shape the magic and sharpen her focus on her question, she flicked the first domino over, and they fell, she drained their pooled Essence with a single pull.

The spell caught like a fuse against a candle. Cassia’s vision faded as her consciousness hurtled into darkness. The darkness resolved into dozens and dozens of thin white lines crossing each other in a spider’s web. Cassia’s breath caught as she recognized the vision — somehow the spell had drawn her consciousness into the Empyrean, source of all magic — but then an enormous knot of white lines rose before her, a twisted tangled snag so big it swallowed up Cassia’s entire vision, and still she could not see it all.

Cassia didn’t have limbs or eyes in this strange state, but she strained to see the scenes flicking across the knot. This had to be the future she was searching for.

Then the magic ran out, and Cassia’s consciousness snapped back abruptly to her body, the bright light from the window flooding across her eyelids. She sat back on her heels and muttered something under her breath she’d never say where her father could hear.

It should have been enough magic. She’d left them standing for three days, plenty for a smaller spell like this. And the domino set was an antique, so it accumulated magic faster.

That knot… Cassia was pretty sure the future cast by a specific question wasn’t supposed to look that tangled. The human she’d asked had mentioned something about two lines crossing for yes, and running parallel for no.

Before she could figure out what that meant, someone rapped on the study door.

Cassia jumped up with a yelp, barely managing to dismiss the protections clinging to her skin before they held her in place. She seized a blanket draped over the back of her chair and flung it over the fallen dominoes, then kicked the whole mess half-under her desk.

Only then did she go to the door and open it, first just a crack, then wider when she saw who it was. “Oh hey. What’re you doing here?”

Cassia’s twin sister Tilana glanced over her shoulder, then leaned in closer. Like Cassia, she had silver skin, a wide nose, and thick, sculpted eyebrows, but they weren’t identical — Cassia had inherited her father’s strawberry blond hair and freckles, while Tilana had their mother’s curly raven black tresses that she kept in a thick braid down her back. Unlike Cassia, Tilana had a mote of Mithrinde, and a beautiful pair of grey-white wings to go with it.

“Fetching you,” Tilana said, her voice almost a whisper even though they were alone. “Council meeting. Now.”

Terror shot from Cassia’s heart all the way to the tips of her toes. “Dad—?”

Tilana shook her head. “He’s fine. It’s something else, but Haliel won’t say.”

As the Grand Mage of Mithrinden, Cassia held one of ten minister’s seats on the council. The eleventh belonged to their father Micah, Mithrinde’s Archpriest. But he’d been fallen ill a week ago and been bed-bound since, leaving Tilana, as the Archpriest’s heir, to fill his chair and assume his daily duties.

His future was the one Cassia had tried to see with the divination spell. He was often sick at this time of year, but this time… this time was worse. This time the healers weren’t sure if he would have the strength for the Renewal.

And now Haliel, the Minister of Foreign Affairs, was calling an emergency meeting two weeks before the Renewal.

Cassia didn’t have to say it — to any outsider, Tilana’s face would appear perfectly composed, but Cassia could read her sister’s fear, and it mirrored her own. She took her sister’s hand and they walked together down the stairs. Cassia put one arm around Tilana’s shoulders, and a moment later Tilana unfolded one grey-white wing and wrapped it around Cassia’s waist.

They walked in step through the brightly lit halls of the Lunasium, the largest building in Mithrinden. Part library, part palace, and mostly the heart of Mithrinden’s government, it perched at the very top of Mount Selene, overlooking the city’s plunging cliffs and fields far below. But sixteen-year-old Cassia, daughter of Mithrinde’s Archpriest, just called it home.

Lost in anticipation as they reached the door to the Council chamber, Cassia almost didn’t notice the wan figure standing in front of it.

Dad?” Cassia called out in shock.

Micah was already turning around, a smile beaming across his face at the sight of his daughters. His arms opened wide. Cassia ran and hugged him.

But putting her arms around him shocked Cassia. He’d lost so much weight that his large frame felt gaunt and diminished. His shoulder-length silver hair and well-trimmed beard usually made him look distinguished, but today Cassia mostly saw the deep, wrinkled lines on his face that his strong jawline could not hide.

“Ah, my favorite Grand Mage and Crown Priestess. Come on, go head inside.” Micah said. His rich voice was warm and soothing, but Cassia’s smile was more automatic than reassured

Tilana had joined the hug, but now they broke apart. “Dad, shouldn’t you be in bed?” Tilana asked quietly.

Micah’s eyes lost their smile. He shook his head curtly and ushered both of them inside, even though Tilana wasn’t strictly part of the Council now that Micah was there to fill his seat.

The chamber was spacious and airy, with tall windows that framed the bright blue sky. In the center was a circular table set with twelve hard, high-backed chairs.

Every other Council member was already seated, wings folded neatly behind their backs. Irin, the Minister of Agriculture, greeted Cassia with a nod and a smile.Bartholomew, Minister of Trade, winked. But it was Haliel whose expression sent a thrill of foreboding through Cassia. She looked like someone who did not know anymore whether she was dreaming or awake. Her sleek gown was wrinkled and her hair tilted precariously in a tight bun.

Tilana hesitated for a split second at the edge of the table, uncertain of her place, but recovered quickly and seated herself next to Cassia. They shared a look, and Tilana slid a hand along the underside of the table to hover next to Cassia. Cassia pressed the back of her hand against Tilana’s. It was a subtle gesture Cassia had invented to help Tilana calm her nerves without whatever important person she was negotiating with noticing she was nervous.

Once they were seated, Cassia caught Grand Healer Raphel’s eye and mouthed a silent question.

Raphel, a blond, kind-faced angel with messy hair, shook his head. You’ll see, he mouthed.

At that moment, Micah leaned forward, intent on Haliel. “Minister. Please tell us why we are here.”

“Of course.” Despite her rattled appearance, Haliel’s voice was steady.

“I don’t know how else to say it, Your Grace. The Treatise has been stolen.”

A clamor immediately broke out among the table as each Minister asked a different question or simply exclaimed in shock.

“That’s impossible!” Bartholomew blustered. “We’re guarding day and night—”

“Are you sure—” Raphel said.

“Do you think the drakes —” began Irin.

Cassia sat rigid, their words washing over her without sinking in. Surely she was dreaming. Surely she was just tired from worrying about Micah, and now her brain was making up worst-case scenarios. She was probably back up in her tower, napping accidentally.

Because it wasn’t just that the Treatise kept the peace between the gods and their godformed.

It was that Micah only always got better after the Renewal. She didn’t really know why, just that since he had helped make the Treatise nearly a hundred years ago, he was tied to it, and he always got weaker in the weeks before it was Renewed.

Without the Treatise, there could be no Renewal. What would happen to the Treatise then?

What would happen to her father?

Micah let the ministers talk themselves into silence before nodding again to Haliel.

Haliel cleared her throat. “We don’t know how it was stolen. None of the guards, angel or drake, report seeing anything last night. Our alarm spells weren’t even broken.”

The voices of Cassia’s tutors played in her head, repeating her lessons again and again. The Treatise… guarded day and night… at all times by two Orders together. This year they, Mithrinde’s angels, were guarding it, in an uneasy partnership with Selach’s drakes. The security was layers deep. No one should have been able to get in. But according to Haliel, someone had.

It didn’t seem possible.

“Are you sure the drakes didn’t stage this whole thing?” Irin said what was on everyone’s mind.

“As sure as anyone can be,” Haliel said. “We’ve done trace spells and all the evidence points to a human thief: one of the human mages who was working at the Temple. She got past our security in the dead of night, took the Treatise, and vanished with no one the wiser until morning, and just three weeks before the Renewal. The good news is that we’re certain only we and the drakes know it’s missing.”

Tilana frowned. Cassia didn’t have a knack for politics like her sister, but she could imagine the uproar if the other Orders discovered it was gone. The drakes would pin it solely on the angels if word got out, and everyone would believe it. They were vicious, and Tilana was always complaining how the other Archpriests in the Conclave mostly listened to Ashwythe, the drake’s Archpriestess. More importantly, Selachen lands bordered Mithrinden’s mountains, and the drakes had always seemed to hold a special hatred toward angels.

Micah surveyed the room. “I don’t need to remind you what is at stake. If we do not recover the Treatise within a week of the Renewal, it will break. That cannot happen, not as long as the Treatise is the only thing binding the tenuous peace our people have enjoyed these last hundred years. We must recover it.”

“As usual, the drakes are making demands,” Haliel explained. “They’re willing to keep this news quiet, but they insisted that they search for it alone. After some negotiations, they have agreed to form a team. One drake, one angel, working together to track the Treatise and return it as soon as possible.”

“Only one?” Cassia blurted out before she could think.

Haliel glanced at Micah. “Officially, yes.”

Tilana’s grip tightened under the table, and Cassia caught the insinuation. Of course the drakes would send out spies to recover the Treatise first. Although it was underhanded, Micah probably would too.

“So we meet to discuss whom to send?” Irin asked, lip curling in dictate at the idea of working with drakes.

“No,” Micah said, drawing himself up to his full height, his wings slightly flared. “This task will be difficult and dangerous. Whoever we send must be one of our best mages, with the skills and magic necessary to track and corner a dangerous adversary. More importantly, I, along with the other Archpriests, created the Treatise. It is my responsibility more than any other angel’s.

“All of this is to say that I have already made my decision. I will go myself.”


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Thu May 13, 2021 12:54 pm
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi Mea,

Mailice here with a short review! :D

Your introduction really stands out. It seems like a summary of the parts of the first chapter so far. You've done a particularly good job of detailing it, which I always enjoy reading. Only (tiny) criticism would be that you start with "This bookshelf" in the second sentence, where it would probably be better to replace it with "it", since you ended the previous sentence with bookshelf.

That meant Cassia had about twenty minutes to commit mild blasphemy.


You wrote an interesting sentence, but I'm not sure to what extent the term "blasphemy" extends to being able to blaspheme (a) god for twenty minutes. :D

The whole part with Cassia reads excellently. One notices a strong improvement in your writing style already here. I don't know what exactly, but it's probably just your very elaborate descriptions, which you always try to connect with something of the respective character.

The spell caught like a fuse against a candle. Cassia's vision faded as her consciousness hurtled into darkness. The darkness resolved into dozens and dozens of thin white lines crossing each other in a spider's web.


I've noticed that a time or two here in this part; you end a sentence as you begin it again. I think that's a kind of rhetorical style, but I think it requires several sentences ending/beginning with one word each. I would either replace it with a pronoun or find a synonym.

Cassia's twin sister Tilana glanced over her shoulder, then leaned in closer. Like Cassia, she had silver skin, a wide nose, and thick, sculpted eyebrows, but they weren't identical - Cassia had inherited her father's strawberry blonde hair and freckles, while Tilana had her mother's curly raven black tresses that she kept in a thick braid down her back. Unlike Cassia, Tilana had a mote of mithrinde, and a beautiful pair of grey-white wings to go with it.


I love the way you portray the appearance of Cassia and Tilana. Especially how they are different even though they are twins, I think you did a good job. You don't just associate colours with the part of the body you want to describe, but combine the colours with other nouns, which I like very much. It makes the characters more "colourful" and diverse than just having them with blond or black hair.

Terror shot from Cassia's heart all the way to the tips of her toes.


At this point I just want to mention that you create a vivid story with such portrayals. (I repeat myself too often, but I think it needs to be noted.) :D

With this point, I also notice a bit how the story will develop. I really like seeing Cassia and co's point of view, having already experienced with Fyn what it means that the Treatise has disappeared. You build up great tension and also like that not everyone here in the chapter is of the same opinion that it just disappeared, but that it could possibly have been orchestrated by the Drakes.

This part is bigger than the last two parts and yet just as much happens in terms of plot as before. (Not to be taken as a negative criticism). This means that you expand other passages and sections and add more (not always) necessary information. I like this very much, as already described, it makes the story more lively and fluid.

Have fun with your writing!

Mailice.




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Sun Nov 29, 2020 4:55 am
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SpiritedWolfe wrote a review...



Hi, Mea!

To start off this review, I wanted to point out that I really liked the distinct change in style. One of the things I noticed about the first chapter were the sentences and paragraphs were generally short, simple, sort of choppy at times, but to the point. This one I noticed the paragraphs were longer, flowy and descriptive, a bit more meandering (but not boring!) and that contrast does a great job to make your two perspective characters unique from one another. It felt like I was in the brain of Cassia instead of the brain of Fyn. That's a difficult thing to do, and you did that beautifully. Great job!

She pushed her chair back and crouched at the edge of a large circle painted in gold trim on the floor. Protection runes were emblazoned along the inside of the circle, which was fifty years old and growing stronger every year.


So when I first read this section, I had trouble trying to imagine this scene. At first I didn't know how big this circle was (as in, was it around the whole entire room or just the middle table?), whether Cassia was inside or outside of it, how it fit in the space of things, etc. After the initial description of the room, I didn't think there was anything else important (and I imagined the room as very cramped so I didn't think there was room for anything else). Maybe mention this sooner or describe it in relation to the rest of the room so the two descriptions better connect with one another?

The other thing that was a little confusing to me is why did this run grow strong every year? What made it stronger? Because, that's the exact opposite of how most things work in real life, so it felt kind of weird to throw in as a detail and just not explain or revisit.

What she wasn’t so sure about was the ring of thin wooden dominoes she had set up to spiral into the circle.


This also read like an awkward transition to me. I could see what you were trying to do by linking the two ideas of Cassia being confident in the circle and not confident with her set up, but it didn't flow that way. It felt like Cassia was stating a fact that she had always been protected by the circle, and then it switched to her not being confident. It felt like a small disconnect to me?

I really liked the way you described Consequence magic by using the analogy to the dominoes (since that's what she was doing!) It's a really neat magic system and I'm very interested to know more :)

And Cassia didn’t have a mote to listen to.


So this is interesting! I am curious as to how this will play out and the plot potential of this fact. However, I don't feel like I really know what a "mote" is. At first, I just thought it was the name for the organ that drakes breathe fire with, but it seems like it's a more general magic term. The thing is though, is it supposed to be a physical thing? Is it... something else? I wish there was a bit more clarity about this, but as a whole, I think I understand the general idea of it.

But as the Grand Mage of Mithrinden, daughter of the former Grand Mage, she had been taught a harder, older magic, the same as learning to read and write.


So because Cassia is this Grand Mage and she was taught this magic, I'm a little confused as to why Cassia is apologizing to Mithrinden for doing this ritual as she was taught to do? Was it specifically because it was divination? But if the magic itself is considered blasphemy, why is she allowed to learn it and in turn be highly revered for it? These two facts don't really add up to me.

(The magic is cool, though :) I like the detail that it's an "older" magic, like older than the Gods possibly, or maybe just older than the godformed. Still cool!)

She’d left them standing for three days, plenty for a smaller spell like this.


If seeing in the future is a small spell, I don't think I can imagine what a larger spell would be!

But putting her arms around him shocked Cassia.


This was another slightly awkward sentence to read. Maybe rephrase it so Cassia is put first as the subject, since it feels odd to put the predicate of the sentence first in the case, since the "but" is already at the start. Just a little nit-picky something.

And now Haliel, the Minister of Foreign Affairs, was calling an emergency meeting two weeks before the Renewal. / ... / She got past our security in the dead of night, took the Treatise, and vanished with no one the wiser until morning, and just three weeks before the Renewal.


I just wanted to point out that at first you said that the Renewal was in two weeks, but then later on someone else says that it's in three weeks. :P

The drakes would pin it solely on the angels if word got out, and everyone would believe it.


This doesn't really make a lot of sense to me. Now, I don't know a lot about the other Orders and their relationships. From the way you've described it, everything seems a little bit rocky. However, if there are always two Orders guarding this object, then how could the drakes really easily pin it completely on the angels? Aren't they both responsible for it? I get that they might be more easily swayed and listened to the drake's Archpriestess more, but (assuming an equal power of the Orders -- which has not been implied otherwise), this doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me.

Another thing that I've been thinking about, which could certainly be explained later, was the role of Treatise. How exactly does it keep peace between the Orders? It seems like there is already some tension and there could be reason why they don't want to have peace (as shown by the drakes), but what exactly is keeping one Order from just deciding not to follow it? How does a physical object do that? I mean, I know it's magical, but what kind of magic? Does it subdue the Gods? Or something else?

Oh, Micah. I know he is well intentioned, but since he is currently sick and was previously bed-ridden, we all know it's not a good idea. And we all know that's not actually how it will play out. ;)

As an introduction to Cassia, I liked this section. There is a good balance of first introducing us to Cassia, and then showing us the dilemma from the angel's perspective, who seem to be treating this issue with a lot more respect and seriousness! More great world building, and again, really strong voice throughout it.

I look forward to the next part!
~ Wolfe




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Sat Nov 28, 2020 6:47 am
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niteowl wrote a review...



Hi Mea! Nite back to attack Chapter Two! I did read this quickly the other day, but I'll dive in deeper now. Thoughts as I go, then any overall points at the end.

A tiny bead of water rolled off the tip of a clock that sat atop a dusty bookshelf. This bookshelf overlooked an opulent study whose fine furniture was heavily disguised underneath a thick layer of rumpled parchment, haphazard piles of scrolls, and candle wax and ink stains. Wedged between a large mahogany writing desk and a large glass cabinet filled with jumbled trinkets was a simple oak table.


There's a lot of description in the first paragraph, and it might be a bit much. The first sentence is lovely. The second-I would cut the word "opulent" because it doesn't seem to fit anything about the study except that it has fine furniture. Using the word "large" twice in the third sentence is not great-I might keep it for the desk but not the cabinet. I'm also wondering why there's a table right next to a desk. I guess if you need more desk? Perhaps it will make more sense as I read on.

A wingless angel bent over this smaller desk, her eyes flicking down a trailing piece of parchment.


The word "flicking" is weird to me, I think because I associate it with like tossing something, not something you can do with your eye. I think she's more scanning or skimming whatever she's reading on the parchment.

That meant Cassia had about twenty minutes to commit mild blasphemy.


This got my attention, but I'm also unsure if this is the right word. Blasphemy is literally "saying something against God", which doesn't seem like something she would need twenty minutes for. Maybe the right word is "heresy"?

I like the description of how the magic works and the essence of Consequence. This magic system seems very interesting.

The Grand Mage sounds like an important title, one I'm surprised that someone without this all-important mote would have.

I like the description of the ritual and vision, and I also like the ambiguity of how we don't know what she asked.

So uh...I'm thinking the woman the drakes killed is the one who stole the Treatise? Does that mean the Treatise itself is no more? That is all kinds of not good.

I'm a bit unclear at this point what the other three orders were, but if they're going to trust the dragons over the angels, it makes me think the angels were really bad in the pre-Treatise days or maybe the other orders are more scared of the drakes so they'd rather go with their story.

“So we meet to discuss whom to send?” Irin asked, lip curling in dictate at the idea of working with drakes.



Got confused by the word dictate but then I realized you probably meant distaste haha.

While it makes sense that Micah would feel the need to go himself, it does not seem like the smartest idea.

Okay, so overall, I feel like the action of this chapter flowed really well, though the description of the ritual at the beginning dragged a little. I think the ritual itself is interesting though, both in showing us the magic system and foreshadowing the complexity of answering the question about Micah's survival, so I don't know if any of it should be cut. Maybe it's good the action slows a bit before we get to the big reveal.

Now, onward to the next chapter!





Stay gold, Ponyboy.
— S.E. Hinton