Published March 12, 2010
I cry for the children,
I cry for the families,
I cry for us all.
Silently,
I hope.
For all humanity.
For there's a darkness.
There's a problem,
will always be.
But I was taught
to hold my tears.
And I say, "No."
When they come,
I hold my head
and let them flow.
I used to
be called "baby",
but you cry too.
We all do.
We've all been
alone and scared.
When that time comes,
I cry,
and cry again.
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141,462 Literary Works • 674,479 Reviews
Isn't this a very emotional poem. to have and hold. I like it.
I gotta agree with the last person,
The subject is overdone, i think its a bittersweet way to write. On one had there is a lot to be sad about in life,on the other had it is obscure. Maybe a good way for you to think of your poems is more like when you write a paper for a comp class. Your naroratior is sad crying, you need to tell us why, and why should we the readers care? Random despair is deus ex machina (a random addition or missing element in a story that resolves the story, out of the blue). your punctuation looked good, (looked in the poetic theory book 4 u actually lol)
I look 4ward to seeing more
Hi there McMorning! Welcome to YWS and the wonderful world of poetry.
Overall, it wasn't bad. You've got nice word choice and imagery, but the subject matter of the poem seemed to be a little bit on the cliche side. What you're basically saying is that there is something wrong with humanity and there is nothing that we can do to stop it. An extra step is needed for you to make this poem truly original. Does your narrator try to do something besides just cry?
Anyway, PM me if you need anything or if you post anything new. Goodbye for now.
-Elinor