Young Writers Society

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm baaaack for the second part of this!!

First Impression: Okay...well this was a fun little explanation to end off on, this part really delivered what the chapter title promised us quite literally. Hmm, now that we have got this I feel like perhaps we can finally get the plot moving from introduction to actual action soon...I know how hard it is do get stories like this moving cause you gotta make sure the reader isn't getting lost...but this is six chapters...soo...things gotta happen at some point and I think we know more than enough background stuff now.

Anyway let's get right to it,

On that lovely note, I got a chair and started reading. Charlie and I chatted a bit, but my mind was churning with math and stress, so I wasn't a great conversationalist. I felt myself reaching down and reawakening old knowledge from my doctorate. Brushing off equations and cleaning the rust off the memories of lectures.

I will not bore you with what I read. I did not write the book on the complex science behind time travel, only its consequences. If you want to learn that, I'd suggest reading Dr. Charlie's Stuckers work.

Well this is a fun way to put that....also love the idea of how he's having to brush off the rust from his old memories of equations, you can certainly see how that sort of situation would come up from the fact that he hasn't really done much in the way of science in his recent life.

But a basic understanding of time travel is necessary for us to process what happened to me. So, here are the basics of what I learned.

Quickly let me preface this by saying the paper was a bit above my pay grade since I'm not a literal genius, but as far as I'm aware, time travel functions something like this:

Bold of you to assume that we need a basic understanding of time travel to process what happened to you...but also...I think this is a pretty good idea, just to put all of those various snippets of science from earlier in one place for a reader to really analyze the mechanism of time travel in this work.

You first need to start with a naked singularity. This is really a fancy way of saying you need to stuff a crap ton of stuff in a really small space. Like what those trash compactors do - but if they could crush your trash in the space the smaller than an atom.

Basically, once you start crushing a thing small enough, gravity joins in and helps out. It pulls in and squashes the thing smaller until it is so tiny it literally can't be any tinnier. It's not even a size. It's just like a point of infinite smallness and density. It's pulled spacetime down into this infinitely deep hole, which kinda shatters reality.

Welll...this isn't a very bad way to dumb down a blackhole..but I am compelled to give my own nerd mode analysis of this explanation. Hmm...I think it checks out for the most spart...although that last part is a bit more complicated that what dumbed down implies..but I can see how there's not much of a different way to say that...so in my book, Matthew passes this first test.

This is what a black hole is. It's when a star, because of gravity, does this of its own accord, and after shattering reality, it kindly covers up the reality shattering singularity with an event horizon.

But the way we do it, that event horizon doesn't form, so this crack just exists.

Well...yeah...that also somewhat checks out although this might imply stars just randomly do this, you might want to mention, this is a direct result of when stars that are a certain size die.

But we need to get it moving if we want stuff to really happen! If, as it is collapsing, it's spinning, that spinning will speed up! Just like if you are spinning and then pull in your arms in, you speed up! This happens all the time, with ballerinas, merry-go-rounds, and kids on office chairs. The stuff that is pulled in has to move less far in a circle but still has the same energy, so as the circle shrinks, that energy gets them around the circle more times in a shorter period of time. This makes the spinning speed up. So, if the singularity was going fast enough before it collapses, as it becomes infinitely small, it also spins infinitely fast.

OKay...soo a bit of an error here...black holes naturally spin and they spin really fast, like almost at the speed of light kind of fast...so what they're doing is only accelerating it and making it go faster than light and hence infinitely fast...so you might want to change that a teensy bit...cause black holes are definitely not stationary. Pretty much every single thing in this universe is spinning...

This is obviously way easier said than done, but they figured it out, using the vast machine of Project Athena, (As previously mentioned, a 3 kilometers wide sphere with piping inside that spirals the machine until it's 50 kilometers long) which gets particles smaller than atoms going really fast. It then squashes them into each other at the right angles until they form spinning singlarities.

Hmm I not totally sold on the spirally idea of a particle accelerator, cause things do be big...and while this is a massive sphere, the equipment that makes a particle accelerator do its thing has to be aligned in some very, very specific arrangements to make anything accelerate, especially if angles are also a concern here...but I guess this one can be allowed to pass.

But, don't forget, the point is infinitely small, which means it can't really spin since it has no axis to spin around. So if it's spinning when it collapsed, the infinity thin point is drawn out in a circle. Like a really thin doughnut. In science, these are called ringularities because of their ring-like shape and because scientists are not creative at naming things.

And once this is done, you have efficiently ripped a hole in the fabric of space and time.

Congrats!

Hehe...love that little paradox..but those do points do definitely spin...also yeah, scientists are definitely bad at naming things

Nerds lovingly call these holes Worm-Holes, but I don't like worms, so I will be calling it a Doughnut-Hole.

Now, the difficulty is in keeping the doughnut-hole stable and preventing hawking radiation from destroying it. This part of the paper was blacked out. I assume, so I couldn't tell anyone else how to make a Doughnut-Hole, so I can't really explain that.

Heyyy...you can always call it an Einstein-Rosen bridge, that is way cooler...also doughnut hole would be surprisingly accurate for a regular singularity but strangely not as appropriate for this one lol..

But these scientists ripped open their doughnut-hole and discovered to their dismay, it was very tiny (like a couple of hydrogen atoms across), and they had no idea how to control where the other end opened up. They didn't even know if it went anywhere at all. So they studied it really hard and put all types of tools to measure what crap came out of it. Everything that can be expected shot out, dangerous gamma rays and tons of gravitational waves, but that's not really important. They began to observe that it was shooting out this particle we had never observed before. At first, they mistook them for electrons, those little balls that circle atoms and make electricity and magnets, but it wasn't precisely like electrons.

Hmm...that is definitely one of the biggest issues with travelling through a wormhole, that's captured nicely...although hydrogen atom diameters are probably not what most people would relate to..so maybe something a bit more dumbed down would work there..like comparing it to the point of a needle or something...to get people an idea of how small a hydrogen atom is. Yayyy gamma rays finally being included. ALso hmm..electrons are actually kind of like clouds..rather than balls..but hmm, I suppose most people think of them as balls..xD Also well, electricity is made from any charged particle...and magnets are a whole different story to. I think maybe leave the electricity part but the magnet part might be a more confusing addition than a helpful example. Most people don't really associate magnets with anything other than strange fields of energy that attract things.

As Charlie told me before, they noticed these particles kinda began to buzz around in nice little patterns. Those patterns reminded us of the way electrons buzz around in the human brain, so then Charlie hooked up some of them to his brain and went on - for lack of a better term - a wild trip. They allowed him to see and know things you can't usually see and know by tazing yourself with good ol' fashioned electrons. Instead, it was like a peek behind the fabric of reality.

So, as far as I understand it, my job was to let a machine absorb those mystery particles and pump them right into my brain!

Perfectly safe!

Yay!!! I do love this explanation there...the last part was definitely pretty funny...especially that declaration at the end..did I mention how likeable Mathew's voice is already..cause if I already did, here's another reminder.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall, a fun ending there to this chapter...this is one of the few that felt very final...with no real cliffhanger to come...so that gives me hope that chapter seven will get some things moving...we shall see I suppose...and ahhhhh I thought I would catch up today..but well, looks like it'll be a couple more days...thoughts on the story at large will be coming along by then.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry

Hey!! Forever here with a short review!!

You forgot to link part one here and the second part there in 5.1. Link them or best remove that line. We can always browse between the parts from the index under the related items.

Now to the review.

It's pulled spacetime down into this infinitely deep hole, which kinda shatters reality.

Though kinda is a valid word I think it's better to use kind of here.

This happens all the time, with ballerinas, merry-go-rounds, and kids on office chairs.

This had a bit of humour in it. I liked it.

(As previously mentioned, a 3 kilometers wide sphere with piping inside that spirals the machine until it's 50 kilometers long) which gets particles smaller than atoms going really fast

This portion was a bit unclear. I feel there are some lack of punctuations.

So, as far as I understand it, my job was to let a machine absorb those mystery particles and pump them right into my brain!

I sense a tense problem here. Matt is writing the booj at present describing incidents from the past. So, I expect this incident to be in the past tense. I would suggest changing understand to "could understand"

We have the physics stuff here in a simpler language. That was quite good and Matt was not wrong in saying that he could write in a simple language for common people to understand. I like how you havw combined real and unreal. That's a hard job to do. I searched it up on Google about these things. They do exist.

Something which I wonder about is the fact that where we can get Charlie's book. In the fictional World I suppose or maybe in the future. And one more question. As I have already managed to forget it, when does this story take place? In the future or past or present? Also the name 'ringularity' is pretty creative, at least to me. Easy to remember, you see

That is very unsafe but I am glad that nothibg bad has happened to him. He is alive after all, still breathing and already did a time travel. Sometimes I do wonder if giving a glimpse of time travel was tbe best idea in the first chapter.

Overall, a great one with a bit of humor in it and he will get the job.

Keep Writing!

~Forever

Hi MaybeAndrew,

Mailice back with a short review!

I find it very interesting that this part turns more towards the narrative in contrast to the first half of the chapter, and think it is fitting to deliver a little pseudo-scientific explanation to the reader here.

That's my biggest point that I really like (and think is pseudoscientific) is that you take so much trouble to introduce and render it with a certain humorous mood and yet seriousness. Even though a lot of it is like a bunch of unknown fruit for the reader at first, it becomes clearer with every further sentence you insert and describe. You really portray it beautifully and I am a big fan of these descriptions. Firstly, it helps to appeal to a wide variety of readers. Those who are more interested or have now become interested will read up on it and others will get a glimpse of physics as it could be, in contrast to the very dry school subject.

I liked the beginning here - as well as the last part. You have a very good way of dropping the reader into the action and, through Matt's voice, describing it expressively and with suspense. In general, that's something I really liked.

I have to say that I can only summarise here that with this sixth chapter you have now created a good mixture of the practical and the theoretical. We have now met new characters in the last parts, and I think that they will be with us for a while. I also see now a point where with the fifth chapter the "introduction" or introduction of the story has come to an end and we are now moving into the bigger "main part" where we are getting closer and closer to the point where the story actually started. That's also a good point that I like, how you've managed to create that introduction and now chapter after chapter you're working your way there.

Some other points that my eye caught:

I'd suggest reading Dr. Charlie's Stuckers work.

Where can I find it?

This is really an fancy way of saying

Through time and space the "n" from one of your later chapters has travelled here and found the "a" to give them a message.

tiny it literally can't be any tinneir.

A small misspelling here.

using a vast machine (3 kilometers wide sphere with piping inside that circles the machine until it's 50 kilometers long)

This reminds me a little of this CERN project in Switzerland.

Have fun writing!

Mailice