Legacy

This piece is like your own interpretation of the "Rising of the Lord" from the dead after three days..
The world is a chaos back then.. Many do not believe in Him and made bad things as it is written in the Bible..
And the legacy, for me, could probably the Word of God or the possibility of envious characteristics..

Also, nice description in your poem..
Keep going..

ll
U

Hello there MaxZero1496,

In general, I don't like rhyming poems, but this piece was quite entertaining. The reason I dislike poetry that rhymes is because a lot of the time the rhymes seem forced and are quite bland. You were able to pull this genre of poetry off quite seamlessly. There were a few things that I found in this work that require fixing, but they're only minor so there is no need to worry. Onto the review!

Rhyming Patterns:

Okay, so in rhyming poetry, there are multitudes of ways to stitch your lines together so that they come across as lyrical. In your first stanza, you used the rhyming pattern of "A B A B" which is a standard structure for poetry. Then in your second stanza, you used the pattern "A A B B" which is also a standard pattern. Finally, in your final stanza, you went back to using "A B A B" which is fine. The thing about mixing different rhyming patterns together, is that it can throw readers off for a bit. They're used to reading in one way, but then all of a sudden, the writer throws them in the other direction with another pattern. This isn't necessarily bad, it just means the reader will most likely have to go back and reread what happened. This is just something the keep in mind for future works. Especially in shorter pieces such as this one, switching rhyming structures can be a risky thing to do.

Poem Format:

Throughout the poem, the format was great. Your mechanics were nice and your use of words was interesting. In your second stanza, though, there is a big thing that stands out to me.

"Men chose to love the darkness, and they crucified THE LIGHT."

Using all capital letters for something is almost never good. It just seems like a big, red stop sign to the reader and comes across as a little much. Italicized lettering should get your point across just fine. Keep in mind that if all capital letters is one hundred percent required and it symbolizes something important, it is okay. But in general, stick to bold letters or italics.

Overall:

This was a nice piece. It was simple, sweet and to-the-point. It wasn't too long and wasn't too short. I do believe that if you added more words, it could be even better, but that isn't something I'm too worried about. It seems fine just the way it is. Great job! Bravo

PS: If you need any clarification on any of the things I mentioned here today, feel free to message me!

I liked how you described things in your poem. It catches the reader's attention and makes them think. The rhyming also flows well, it doesn't look forced.

- Spotted

Hi there!
Ok about the poem. It's strong and I get your feelings so all in all I like it.
I love the way you discribed the world and the note you're sending.
My favourite line: "Men chose to love the darkness, and they crucified THE LIGHT."
and also: "A line runs through our legacy,
a thread as red as blood." I like the way you started, got me with your first line.
But I think you could have done better at the end, something's missing for your poem to be even betterrr )
Thank you for a good read, keep writing, curious to see more
Luca