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Slippery when Wet. (13+)

by Mattie

A friend is helping me on this, it's not done yet.

Slippery when Wet.

1: Terri stepped out of the house, and locked the door quietly. She turned around hastily, and saw two green eyes looking at her.

“Shit.” she cursed silently.

“You don’t sneak up on people like that,” she stopped, “asshole.” she added.

The figure smiled.

“How do you know I was sneaking? I was coming to get you.”

He stepped forward and bent down, placing a solid kiss on her lips. His black hair that went down to his ears often got in the way of his eyes. He pushed it out, and looked at her. Terri, seeing him looking at her like that looked at herself too, in the window by her front door. Two almond shade eyes looked back. Tousled brown hair, full pink lips with a dash of mango shade number three, tan skin that often confused people thinking that she was Puerto Rican.

He laughed, “Got something in your nose, Terri?”

“Brian…” she sighed. “You know we can’t keep doing this.”

She pushed him out of the way and hurried to the front lawn. He quickly followed.

“Sure. It’s for the hell of it, right? Old time sakes?” He smiled again draping his arm around her shoulders.

“I suppose.” She pushed his arm off. “Just not in front of the guys, okay?”

“Sure. Whatever you say Terri.” He sounded disappointed. Most girls liked to show off their boyfriends, she only wanted to hide hers. Well if you can call him that. She followed behind him as he swaggered down the sidewalk, obviously pissed. He always walked funny when he was mad…or drunk. She laughed quietly. He suddenly perked up and turned to give her a cocky smile.

“Uh-hum. That was not an invitation to charge.” He gave her a wink and pucker of his lips then turned walking further down the sidewalk.

“Jeez…where did they park? Tokyo?” she asked searching for the aqua colored Volkswagen van from the 70s in the darkness. The joke obviously didn’t blow over too well, she thought seeing Brian still walking. He would laugh if he weren’t so pissed off at her warning. He seemed to always be getting mad, mostly when she steered clear of him around friends, or gave a flat out no to his efforts to bring them closer. Tonight though, was an acceptation, seeing as it was the end of school for him until he had to leave for college in the spring on a football scholarship. He also had invited her and she didn’t want to leave him to go off to college with a bad start. She still had one more year to go, and then she planned to attend Indiana University in the fall of 2005. She didn’t always refuse Brian’s offers, but when he acted like a jerk, it was hard not to.

2: “Stop! Turn! Blinker! Red Light!” Sammy, Terri’s friend that was a sophomore had just gotten her license, and she was still a little shaky behind the wheel.

“I’m trying! I’m trying! Don’t be backseat drivers!” she yelled at the four sitting behind. It was Jamie, Rickie, Terri, and Brain who sat holding on for dear life all from the same grade level except Brian. The one who had it the worst was Kendra who sat in the front staring wordlessly.

“Kendra isn’t saying anything! You guys should follow.” She called, looking over at another car that honked curtly.

“Oh fuck you!” she yelled. Sammy wasn’t good at driving but she sure had a good vocabulary. Terri figured that was why she was in Advance Placement English, year twelve. She shared her piece of knowledge with Jamie and they both giggled. Terri looked up to see Sammy’s dark eyes peering up at the mirror to watch the two.

“Hey, Sam I’m a leader not a follower.” Rickie assumed in his rough gravely voice.

“Is that why we lost at the beach volleyball game? I mean, that Sarah Winters sure knew what she was doing but you had to go and screw everything up with that so called “plan” of yours.” Jamie baited. She and Rickie were in a constant state of bickering about that volleyball game, mostly because Jamie was on the losing team and knew the plan Rickie had conjured up wouldn’t work. “That plan so could have worked. You just didn’t get that ball, I mean the team was like giving the point away with that serve.”

“You said you had it!” She turned to see his face. Like a little boy he had two dimples in his cheeks, wavy sandy blonde hair to his ears, and sparkling blue eyes.

“I did? I seemed to have missed that part,” he said as if clueless of the whole thing.

“Your left brain too.” she whispered moving her short red hair out of her green eyes. Terri couldn’t help but laugh; when she did she got an annoyed look from Rickie and shut up. He was just as bad as Brian. She slipped her hand to Jamie and got a quick high-five.

“Hey guys…did you bring your bathing suits?” Kendra finally spoke up from the front while fooling with her digital camera.

“Yeah,” they all mumbled in unison.

“Good…there’s some water guns in the back…” she shared with the five.

“Alright Ken!” Rickie reached up and slapped Kendra a high-five, apparently living from Jamie’s cruel sting of words.

3: “Alright, guys file out.” Sammy barked as she unlocked the doors to the van.

“Don’t forget your things in the back!” she yelled as they shut the sliding door. Terri walked up to the front, resting her hands on the open windowpane.

“Hey, Sam I wanted to thank you for tonight. You’re a good friend.”

“Yeah…you’re welcome. Too bad those guys over there are too self-absorbed to say the same thing.”

Terri turned and saw Kendra run and tackle Rickie to the beach’s sand and laughed.

“So you guys have fun, you hear?” Sam asked giving her friend a smile as she turned back.

“You could come. You know we aren’t going to be drinking too many beers and partying all night.”

Sammy checked her watch and laughed seeing the time,

“No can do. Curfew is twelve. Twelve fifteen right now. I’m already late.”

“Well I don’t want to keep you waiting,” Terri reached up through the open window and gave Sam a quick hug.

“Hey, wait, Terri!” Sam turned and dug around the floor to the van. “Aha,” she cried out as she soon appeared,

“The guys may have the water guns, but you have these.” She handed Terri a jumbo pack of water balloons and two canisters of shaving cream.

“You are so immature,” Terri said looking at the shaving cream.

“You know it.”

“Thanks, Sammy this is really great. I really wish you could stay.”

“Ah, I’ll be fine. Just have fun and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“See you, Sam!” Terri yelled as she walked off.

Sammy almost wished she had stayed. Almost.

4: Terri followed the guys who fooled around up front, jumping on each other’s back and singing loudly and obnoxiously.

“What losers,” Terri commented, not knowing how she was friends with them. She laughed and hurried to keep up and took Kendra by the arm. “So what do you have planned tonight?” Terri asked, motioning over to Rickie.

“Um…maybe partying?” She smiled as she followed Terri’s eyes over to Rickie, which was laughing and fooling around with Jamie.

“I guess he’s already taken…” Kendra turned back to Terri.

“Who? Jamie? She’s no threat. They’re just friends. Or so I thought…” Terri trailed off seeing Rickie bend down and give Jamie a soundly kiss on the lips. “Ah…don’t worry about them. We’ll find you a guy sooner or later.”

“Can’t I just have him soon?” Kendra whined and pulled Terri’s arm closer so they wouldn’t be heard. “Well…you’d probably have to start now.” Terri whispered.

“I don’t know Terri, I mean…I’m not exactly ‘The Swan’.”

“What are you talking about? You’re way better than any of those plastics. Just look:” Terri turned Kendra towards her. “Look at this long black hair, it’s all shiny and silky, I’d give my right arm that would stay like that even in the most humid weather. Those dark brown eyes, tanned skin, tall, but not too tall, a nice smile,” Kendra smiled shyly as Terri went on.

“You have everything, Ken, you just have to just go for it. You have to seize the moment, go with the flow, live as if you’re going to die the next day for Christ sakes!”

“Thanks, Terri. I really needed to hear that. I mean it,” Kendra gave Terri a hug and then ran up to catch up with the gang. Terri was left alone with her thoughts; she wondered when she would get a guy.

5: “Pass me one of those towels!” Jamie said as she set up a patch of towels where they could all fit.

“Blue or red?” Terri asked, going through the stack of things they had brought.

“Uh…both?” Jamie asked.

“Here they come,” Terri said as she threw them at her.

“Thanks Terri…” Jamie rolled her eyes and placed the towels in the middle. Terri grinned and looked around to see Brian trying to start a fire which he was having no luck with. She walked over and plopped herself on a log that surrounded the rocks.

“Need any help?” she asked.

“No,” he said, not even bothering to look up.

“You’re not going to be like this all night, are you?” she asked.

“As long as you keep messing with me.”

“Messing with you?” she asked. She was only trying to help.

“You know what I mean.”

“Obviously I don’t.”

“Don’t be all nice to me when you and I both know I’m going off to college in the spring. It won’t last,”

“How do you even know I was trying to get with you? Because I wasn’t. We’re just friends, you and I both know it.” She watched as he struggled with the pieces of wood.

“You never know,” she added quietly to herself. Although she did, and he was right about the situation and wasn’t in the mood for talking.

“Okay, I was trying to go out my way and be nice to you, but I guess since you assume we don’t need to be since you’re leaving, I’ll stop trying.” She got up and stormed off. She couldn’t believe the nerve he had about the whole thing especially when he was the one who wanted to be with her in the first place.

“GRRR!” Rickie jumped out from behind a rock leading up to the spot where they were set up.


“You don’t sneak up on people,” she said but stopped: this was going to be a Brian and Terri moment.

She changed her words, “You scared me.”

“GRRR?” he asked sweetly as if seeing if she was all right.

“Stop acting like that. Caveman….” She saw him smile. “Want to be my cave girl?” he asked.

“How about your cave friend? I know about the girls you’ve been seeing.”

“Who? Jamie?” he asked suddenly getting out of the whole acting mode.

“I guess, you are seeing her aren’t you?”

“Uh…it’s hard to explain,” he said leaning against one of the tall rocks.

“It seems that a lot of confusion is going around.”

“Who else? Is Brian trying to sneak himself back into you life again?”

“He was…he seemed to have assume I was trying to when I went to talk to him.” She motioned to him down the hill as he threw a log angrily.

“Want me to talk to him?” he asked.

“No. That’s okay, I don’t want anybody else to be dragged in.”

“I will if you want me to.” He was trying real hard to be nice.

“No. I’m fine, just leave him alone,” she said walking up the hill.

She turned, “You coming?” she asked.

“Oh, yeah…” he turned away from watching Brian and hurried up the hill.

“Wait!” she stopped him and jumped up onto his back.

“Now we can.” He smiled and ran up the whole entire hill until the top where he just about slipped but regained his balance. She figured that’s what it was like between Brian and her, always slipping but coming back to each other one way or another.

6: Terri looked across the beach at Brian, he sat, hands around a can of beer, looking into the fire.

“Hey, B you in there? Earth to Brian…” Kendra waved her hand in his face. He smiled.

“That a boy.” She smiled at him as he put his arm around her hugging her close in a friendly way.

“Hey, guys I’m going to take a walk…I’ll be back in a while.” Terri said to them getting up and grabbing a jacket. It was breezy out for June. She slipped the jacket and a pair of sandals on, then trudged up the sandy hill. The breeze felt good in her brown hair, blowing it back across her face and tickling her cheek. She decided to take the trail down towards the ocean and turned on a grassy path. Fireflies buzzed around above like stars, twinkling and silent. It felt good to be by herself despite the errands and hanging out she has been doing. She could hear the ocean’s roar and soft current before she reached it. White foam washed over her feet as she held her sandals in her left hand, her right swinging at her waist. She looked up. Now real stars replaced the fireflies and she saw the moon, a crescent hanging above. She could almost see the big dipper, but a cloud blocked it out. She hoped it wasn’t a midnight shower. She glanced at her watch, only twelve forty. They had planned to stay until morning; they had brought sleeping bags and everything. She thought she better head back and warn the others. She could see the fire from where she was on the hill and hurried down. As she got closer she saw that Rickie and Jamie were gone. Kendra and Brian sat on a log. She almost forgot to breathe. They were kissing. She stepped back. A twig snapped and Kendra’s head whirled around.

“Terri…” Terri looked at Kendra. Kendra looked upset about the whole thing. She looked at Brian, who racked his hand nervously through her hair.

“I can’t believe this, Ken…I really can’t…”

“Terri let me explain…we were talking, things got out of hand. You didn’t seem like you would get mad. You told me to seize the moment…I did…”

“Oh…I can see that.” Terri felt like she had just swallowed a rock and it was lodged in her throat. She couldn’t breathe, she felt tears forming…she didn’t know why. Maybe she never officially said she was over Brian but she felt it. It must not be true if she felt what she felt now, disappointed in herself, angry, hurt, but most of all confused. Terri looked at Brian: his shirt collar undone midway, his hair tousled, he didn’t meet her eyes. She knew they were serious in what they were doing. It wasn’t just a, “We’re friends, it didn’t mean anything, we can’t do this,” kiss it was a real kiss and they meant it. She backed away,

“What I told you Kendra, was true, but I didn’t say to go after the first guy you could get your hands on.” Kendra’s eyes were glassy as if what she was saying didn’t register in her mind yet. Terri knew Kendra might cry because she was emotional in that way. She looked at the both of them and turned. She opened the ice chest, grabbed a six-pack of beers, and then walked away.

7: Drowning her sorrows in her second beer, she looked out into the ocean. The waves crashed onto jagged rocks; the late night seagulls squawked loudly and seemed to call her into the bottomless pit of inky blackness. She looked over to the hill she had come down; she had fallen out of clumsiness. Looking back out at the ocean, she got up and dusted the sand that was stuck to her cut off blue jeans. They were faded and worn out because they were her favorite pair. She slipped her sandals back on and walked over to the ocean’s edge. Water lapped at her feet making her sandals get wet. Seaweed clung to them. She couldn’t worry about those now. She pulled them off and threw them back over to the rock where she had been sitting. Looking at the shorts, she moved her hands down and the snap gave way with a ripple of sound. She let them fall, looking around she continued. Moving slowly into the water, she took off her panties, and shirt, undoing her bra strap she tossed it too. Pulling her hair back out of her face, and holding onto the beer she hadn’t opened yet, she moved under the water letting waves smooth across her skin. It felt calming, reflecting in a sad way what she strangely felt now. Running her hands down her hair that reached her shoulders, she felt it’s silkiness, and warmth in her fingertips that hummed with excitement. She had never done anything like this before, let alone tempted. She had waited by the rock hoping someone would come after her to comfort her, especially Kendra. Sure, she had said, ‘go for it.’ But, she didn’t mean to go after the first guy who was drunk and would kiss anybody just to feel a little bit of ecstasy about himself. That didn’t matter now. She was alone and she felt contempt for anyone who tried to make her feel anything otherwise. She had a right to be mad, at herself that is.

8: After she was dressed, she made her way back to the rock where the last three bottles of beer sat. She felt light headed and giddy. She hiccupped as she collected the beer bottles, and felt an edging at her throat. She felt a gagging and heaved. She looked down at the puddle. How could I be so stupid? She wanted to know. She needed some answers. Feeling the sickness in her mouth still, she popped open another bottle, and took a sip. It tasted stale and unmentionable, like when you brush your teeth and drink milk. Awful. She emptied out what she had left in the open bottle. “You’re not going to waste all of that, are you?” came a voice, she turned and was caught off guard to find Jamie behind her. She hiccupped loudly; she was obviously just as drunk as Terri.

“I don’t think I can finish any of it. I feel too bad.”

“Kendra,” She stopped and bent over and let out a gag. When she rose she looked down at the puddle with disdain. “She told me what happened.” Another hiccup. “I thought you would want someone to,” hiccup, “to talk to.”

“I’m fine.”

“Hey, Jamie where are you?” came another voice. Jamie turned to see Rickie stumble out of the darkness; under the moonlight he looked fairly okay, not as bad as Jamie or Terri. Terri looked at Jamie; her hair was matted to her cheek, a sour look on her mouth, her eyes heavy-lidded like she was going to pass out. “Right here asshole,” Jamie had a reputation for acting like a bitch when drunk.

“Now don’t talk to me like that.” He wobbled as he walked and took a seat next to Terri, popping open another beer and taking a swig.

“I don’t think any of us need anymore of that.” Terri stepped in front of him and took the beer out of his hand.

“Who put you in charge? I can drink what I want. Where were you? You’re all wet…” he trailed off, lost in thought.

“Good job, Sherlock.” Jamie curtly cut in.

“I took a swim, I felt bad.”

“I feel bad now.” Jamie sat down and rested her head on Rickie’s shoulder. She looked terrible. Jamie looked at Rickie who looked off into space.

“Do you know where the other two are?” Terri asked. Just thinking about Kendra and Brian made her feel sick to her stomach.

“They’re not together if that’s what your asking.” Kendra replied, turning to face Terri.

“Do you know where Kendra went off to?” Terri asked.

“No. Brian went off down through the grass. To the other side of the beach.” For being drunk he sure knew a lot.

“Thanks. I’ll be back in a while.” She looked at them, then at the bottles, “I better take these,” although she was fairly drunk she had a good train of thought going. Looking at them sitting in a heap on the ground, she walked away humming quietly.

9: Looking for Brian wasn’t the easiest task but she soon stumbled upon him sitting alone, just as Rickie had said. She walked over and sat down; a beer in her hand. “Hey,” she said quietly. She looked at him. He appeared angry. His eyes scrunched together and mouth in a scowl.

“Hey,” He told her looking at her too, then at the beer.

“Mind if I have one?” he asked and hiccupped.

“Knock yourself out.” She knew he had probably had his share but he handled himself pretty well when drunk although he acted like a jerk. Which was almost all the time. She laughed once again at the snide comment she kept making about him. She didn’t look any better so she stopped as he looked at her, one eyebrow raised as he opened the beer. He took a drink and let it sit between his raised legs.

“What the hell were you thinking tonight?” he asked suddenly. She was caught off guard.

“Excuse me?” she asked.

“Why did you have to act so bitchy tonight? Especially to Kendra, she was really hurt,” he asked.

“I…I never quite got over you. Seeing Kendra like that, made me hurt inside.”

“Got over me? You seemed far from it earlier tonight, you seemed to just cast me off to the side the whole time while we drove in the car and at your door. Now you come up with this crap?”

“It’s not crap! It’s true. I mean it.” She looked at him too, his face hid in the shadows but she could see his eyes, blue and glazed. “The hell you do.” Brian rudely said.

“Why are you talking crap? You were all friendly when you picked me up, and then you go and kiss her.”

“That was after you turned me down.”

“I can’t believe this Brian…” She sighed and looked at the beer as he raised it up and took a drink.

“You should…you were part of it.”

“I…guess I was.” Terri looked down, confused about what had happened.

“No guessing, this is not a guessing game, it’s straight from beginning to end, you know it or you don’t.”

“Fine! I’m know it.”

“You know what?”

“I know this.” She turned his head towards her and looked at him as she held his face in front of her, studying his eyes as they looked at her. He moved her hands curtly and held them in her lap and kissed her. He pulled away and looked at her, her eyes shocked and mouth unmoving. Terri looked at him too, and brought her hands to his face, brought it close, closed her eyes, and took the plunge into the darkness.

10: Seeing him so close was like seeing the picture of the Mona Lisa, unforgettable. He was drunk, she knew; so was she, but what she felt inside was real, him too, but in the morning, they wouldn’t remember anything, except they kissed and they were drunk. He would act like it never happened, she would ignore him like she always did but she would know what had happened. They kissed and it was real. Feeling him so close was like being close to a fire, warm. Holding him so close never felt so good, feeling him, touching, seeing. All old but now new things for her, she had never felt so weird in her life. So many mixed emotions, she couldn’t take it. She pulled away from his embrace, his eyes still glazed, his mouth wanting, hair messed up, he was still Brian, she was still Terri, and she couldn’t go any further.

“I have to go.” She stumbled as she walked away, his eyes troubled and confused like he did something wrong but didn’t know what.

“I’ll see you later.” She turned away and left him lying on the beach, fully clothed, wondering what the hell had happened. Her mouth throbbed and she knew it was probably red, her lipstick faded, her hair still damp from the ocean, her clothes wrinkled. She looked down; her shoes weren’t there. How did I walk through all this and not feel that my shoes weren’t there?

“Shit.” she cursed out of anger. Her mom had bought her those shoes, and now they were sitting on the beach, wet and trashy. She didn’t know exactly what made her kiss him, drunkenness, pettiness for herself, feelings she had to get away from and leave behind, but they were still there, inside her making her hurt. She found a tree in the grass, a stump hidden under it and sat. She lowered her head and cried. All the regrets, feelings, hurt, confusion, came out in streams down her face washing away all the sanity she still had.

11: She heard the wind picking up, a gentle howl and felt a brush against her teary face. She looked up; the cloud was still there. She got up and tried her best to make it to where she was presentable. She could barely see the outline of her hands but her watch glowed and read one fifty. She had to get her mind off Brian and what had happened. She gradually made her way out into the beach’s clearing and could see the silent flames of the fire Brian had started and someone sitting on the ground in the distance. It was probably Kendra. Before she could do anything she needed to confront Kendra and maybe even herself. Walking slowly, now not having any shoes, she made her way up the dune of sand. Little by little she eased herself beside Kendra who was crying. Gently she placed her arm around her and held her close.

“I’m sorry, Ken,” she whispered. “so sorry.”

“You should be. I couldn’t believe you would get so worked up over some kiss with Brian who I might add, you didn’t even seem to like.”

“What I said, I meant, I just wished it wouldn’t have been to you, but maybe some whore in a bar.”

“You calling me a slut?” she asked turning toward her.


“No? How can you say, ‘no’ when you mean it?”

“I don’t mean it, Kendra!”

“I’m sure. Just for the record you’re not exactly goodie two shoes either; I saw you and Brian down by the beach. You’re the slut.” Kendra got up, leaving Terri behind breathlessly. How could she say something like that? Terri almost believed her.

12: Sitting in the dark with the fire turned into ashes, she got up. She had to do something. Walking over to where the towels were, she took out the water balloons and shaving cream. She took out three bottles from in the ice chest. Opening a bottle, then setting it down, she took out a white balloon and filled it with shaving cream that came out almost like ice cream, then the water. When she had at least twenty filled, she loaded the water balloons into a bag that they came in and ran off to find the others. If people were mad at her she could at least give them something to be mad at her for. She saw Rickie sitting in the dark his arm around Jamie. Sneaking up she could hear them breathing she was so close. Taking one out slowly, she brought her arm back and heaved it at his head. With a splatter of white and water, he turned and saw her through the trees. Jamie turned too and looked at Rickie, then laughed. Rickie looked at Jamie, took off a clump of shaving cream and smeared it all over her face. He smiled; she did too, “Terri, hand me one of those.” She held out her hand, Terri placed a green one in her palm and Jamie smiled, “You better start running, honey. I’m going to get you bad.” He smiled, and then took off grabbing a balloon from her sack. She could hear them laughing and Jamie’s squealing as he wrestled her to the ground. She grinned, and walked away trying to find where Brian was. She figured he was still where she had left him and headed to the sandy beach.

13: She was right; he was sitting there, arms at his sides staring out at the ocean. “Hey, Brian!” she yelled. He looked over his shoulder and showed her what he had. The water hit her and made her cry out and stumble. “Damn!” she cried out angrily although she could see him smiling in the moonlight. “Come on Terri. Or are you too scared?”

“Never!” she threw a balloon at him hitting him right in the shoulder. “Better run.” He growled and chased after her.

“Get away from me, idiot!” she screamed. Laughing as he stumbled to the ground.

“Not too drunk, are you?” she asked walking over and kneeling by him.

“Depends.” He smiled.

“Well, depends on…what?”


“You obviously are drunk.”

“Drunk? To do this?” he reached up and kissed her softly. Like caterpillars their lips moved together slowly, warm and soft. She pulled away, “We can’t keep coming back to each other like this.” She saw his lips, beating wildly with lust not love. “Who said we were coming back? It was meant to be.”

“Then why do I have this feeling at the pit of my stomach that every time we are together,” she took a breath, shaking and pushing him off to where he rolled. “that there’s something holding me back? Why, Brian?”

“You’re just worried. Come here.” He pulled at her jacket trying to get her to move closer.

“No…no…” she stood looking at him as he sat there, his eyes pleading with her.

“Why are you being like this? Can’t you just give into your cravings?”

“I did. I did and I hurt someone.”

“Kendra? She’ll get over it.”

“How can you say that, Brian? She’s your friend not to mention my best friend.”

“I was.” Terri turned to see Kendra standing behind them shaking, a scowl on her face. It was Kendra who had said it.

“What?” Terri whispered.

“I was your friend, I can’t say what I feel now.”

“What you feel? You should feel…feel…”

“What! Terri…what should I feel? Remorse? I don’t Terri, you hurt me and you just now hurt me again. Are you going to kill me, Terri? Beat me to the bloody pulp where I can’t move and I’ll just be a puddle at your feet? Where I can’t disturb your rendezvous with the town manwhore?” Kendra fused, mad about how Terri could go behind her back, Brian never giving another thought to Kendra, and how they kept going back to each other.

“That’s enough, Kendra!” Terri yelled. Tears streaming down her face. “Just shut up!

“Why should I, Terri? You told me to give in, I did. I ended up making you be a bitch and wind up on the sand kissing that bastard!” Pointing at Brian who looked at her dumbfounded.

“How can you say these things, Kendra?” Brian, who had been awfully quiet, spoke up.

“They’re true! Can’t you see?” While Kendra walked forward she shook in uncertainty.

“Can’t you see what you’ve done to me?” she was crying now and put her arms around Terri who was also shaking while tears streamed down her face. “I love you honey…” Terri whispered holding her friend close. “I’m sorry…” Terri cradled her friend and sat down on the ground rocking her back and forth rubbing her sweaty back.

“I’m going to go find Rickie and Jamie.” Brian stood up and walked away, giving Kendra a hug as he left.

“Okay.” Terri whispered and checked her watch: three thirty-five.

“Do you want to walk back to the fire and lie down? I can call Sammy to give you a ride home.”

Kendra shook her head vigorously and held Terri closer. “Okay. Do you want to at least go lie down? I know you’re probably tired.”

“Okay,” Kendra whispered. She stood wiping her eyes.

“I’m sorry, Terri. I shouldn’t have said those things.”

“You were right.” Terri linked her arm through Kendra’s and they walked away.

14: While Kendra slept, Terri watched as Jamie and Rickie messed around with each other’s hair. Brian had finally managed to find the two and bring them back. They were drunk and thought everything was hilarious. So did Brian who was drinking yet another beer from the cooler. He laughed at the two and beer dribbled down his chin. Terri sighed. She felt a little bit better but knew by morning she would have the worst hangover. Kendra sat up and looked around. “What is it?” Terri asked.

“I thought I heard something.”

“There’s no one here but us, honey.” Terri said softly. Kendra would often shake if she was talked to too loud when drunk. Terri had just figured that out when bringing her back to the fire to rest.

“No, there is.” Kendra said looking around and pointed to the brush that was strewn across the beach. “I’ll go look.” Terri got up. Taking a flashlight, she walked toward the branches of palm trees. “What are you doing?” Rickie



“For what?”

“Your brain.” Terri was surprised she actually remembered something like that.

“Silly, don’t you know it’s in my head?”

“Not lately.” She called out as she shone the light in the sand.

“What’s up, Terri?” Terri jumped and turned to see Sam behind her, her brown hair lying neatly around her oval face.

“You gonna blind me?” Sam asked laughing as she put her hand up to shield her eyes.

“Oh, sorry.” Terri quickly switched the light off.

“What are you doing here?” Terri asked.

“Me? What are you doing wondering around in the bushes?”

“Kendra said she heard something.”

“Oh, is she over there?” Sammy asked.

“Yeah, but she’s not feeling too well.”

“Terri,” Sammy sighed, “you didn’t let everybody get drunk did you?”

“Me? Sammy, they drank on their own.” Terri exasperatedly said but stopped worrying as she saw Sammy laugh.

“Well, I better get you guys home. You don’t want to be sick at the beach, do you?”

“No. But why don’t you just come and have the last one? That’s all we have left and if we take any of it home, our parents will kill us.”

“Yes, I know your mom Terri. She’s like a bomb waiting to explode.”

“Mom? You mean Step mom, right?”

“Whatever. I’ll just empty it out into the ocean, okay?”

“Fine, just get rid of it. We don’t need anymore.” Terri led Sammy to where they were set up. “Jeez, what happened here?” Sammy laughed as she saw Rickie and Jamie messing around with a crab on the beach. Just like two five year olds. “Beer, that’s what happened.” Terri watched as Sammy coaxed the two into the van, as they stumbled and fell to the ground still trying to work out the light-headedness. Terri turned and picked up the towels. Stopping to see puke on two of them, she moved on. They were blue and red.

14: Terri watched as the ocean rocked back and forth onto the sand. “You going to come?” Sammy asked taking hold of Terri’s arm. “Yeah.” Terri turned, “I was just looking at the ocean.”

“Got caught in a daze, huh?”

“I guess…”

“Well, come on. Jamie and Rickie will get wild if someone isn’t watching them.” Terri laughed as she let Sammy lead her to the van, unlocking the doors.

“Hold on tight kiddies,” Sammy joked as she started the van that hummed to life. As Sammy pulled out of the beach’s sand, Terri took one more glance at the ocean. “Where we going?” she heard Brian ask as he sat in the back, Kendra resting her sweaty head on his shoulder.


“Home? What about the beach?” he asked as he let out a hiccup.

“I think we’ve had enough of the beach. Anyways, I don’t think you guys could have lasted out there until morning.” Sammy calmly explained.

Terri smiled as she thought about what had happened there, even what bad stuff had happened. While Sammy slowly picked up speed, Terri looked out the window that was rolled down, a gentle breeze blowing smoothly through her hair. She saw the mountainous rocks that followed the gravel road until the main road that led to town. The palm trees swaying in the dark, moonlight catching the greenness in the leaves. Ocean sparkling and crashing against the docks that had boats tied to them, drifting into one another and then parting to show the seaweed that stuck to the pillars.

“What are you thinking about?” Sammy brought Terri back from her trance.

“Oh…just looking.”

“Looking, Terri?” Sammy smiled. Terri thought back to freshman year when whatever Terri saw at the mall she just had to have.

“I think I’ve grown out of that stage.”

“Are you sure?” Sammy teased trying to keep a leveled head about everything knowing her friends just had gotten totally trashed and reeked of beer.

“Oh yeah-” but Terri didn’t get to finished because a few feet behind them was a cop car, it’s sirens wailing.

“Uh oh.”

Terri looked at Sammy who already had sweat breaking out on her peachy complexion.

“Just relax…you’ll be fine.”

Terri tried to calm her friend who was shaking like mad, and Terri only knew that she herself, didn’t look presentable enough for anyone seeing her, especially a cop. Looking back at the four, who looked around unknowingly wondering why they had stopped Terri realized that they’d probably all have to get out and be given some test. As the cop followed, Sammy slowed down and pulled off to the shoulder. Already the cop was making its way towards the van,

“Just do what he tells you Sam, you’ll be okay.”

“Okay?! Terri, there’s five drunk idiots in my dad’s van, god knows what they have done back there,” Just on cue, Rickie shot up and gagged letting a puddle of vomit form on the floor.

“Oh jeez…Terri I’ve never been pulled over in my life!”

“Well there was that one time you did for driving too slow…”

“Terri you’re not helping! Listen to me, you are all drunk, I’m the only one who isn’t and I know I probably smell just as bad as you…” Sammy trailed off as the officer knocked on the window. Sammy rolled down the window, shooting a warning glance at Terri. “Officer…” Terri could see Sammy getting paler by the minute.

“Ma’am…I was just wondering if you noticed the ‘no public access’ sign back there,” The officer shone his light down the road gesturing where the beach was.

“Uh…no…” Sammy trailed off and leaned forward trying to see the nametag on the policeman’s shirt.

“Daniels.” Terri whispered. The officer jumped and shone the light into the van, causing Kendra to moan in tiredness, and the rest shield their eyes. “No, Officer Daniels. I didn’t.” Officer Daniels squinted and leaned inside the window shining his light towards the back. Rickie yawned and mumbled something,

“Hell…how many people you got back there?” he asked, covering his nose from the putrid smell of vomit. Before Sammy could even begin to explain Officer Daniels asked her to step out of the car. Sammy looked at Terri worriedly and un-buckled her seat belt. Getting out Sammy’s feet crunched on the gravel and Terri looked as the officer led her towards his car. “What’s going on,” Jamie asked, looking around nervously.

“Where’s Sam…Sammy?”

“She just had to go with the police officer for a moment.”

“Shit…did we get pulled over?” Brian asked leaning forward causing Kendra to fall behind him and moan.

“No duh, asshole.” Jamie punched him in the arm, causing him to wince and glare at her.

“Guys, you’ve got to shape up or we all will get in trouble.” Just as the words left Terri’s mouth Sammy came back to the open window. “Yeah? Do you want fries or what?” Rickie asked her drifting back to when he worked at McDonalds. Still just as drunk as before. Sammy smiled for a minute and then stopped as she looked at Terri,

“He wants you to get out of the car,”

“What does he want?” Terri asked un-buckling and looking back at the four who looked around dumbly.

“He’s writing us up, we have to go with him.”

“What?!” Brian asked leaning over the seat to look at Sammy who was quietly waiting.

“Just kidding!” Sammy smiled for the first time.

“What the hell? What did you say to him?” Rickie asked.

“He only gave us a one hundred and fifty dollar fine seeing as the sign was covered up by a tree branch, and he didn’t even know about the sign until Monday when he was told to stop anybody who trespassed. He forgot to move it to where you could see it. Also the part of the beach where we were was open to the public and where I was parked was only residential.”

“Oh my gosh!” Terri squealed.

“Yeah, but we all have to get this form signed by our parents letting them know we would have been in serious trouble if we would have seen it and then trespassed.”

“That’s good news, right? I mean, what about the smell and all of them?” Terri gestured towards the back.

“I told him that they ate some shrimp from the local grocery store in town and it was bad.” Sammy let out a laugh.

“And he believed you?! Oh my gosh Sam, that’s like the first time you’ve ever lied!” Terri enthusiastically commented.

“Hey, anything for my friends right?”

15: As Sammy continued at a good pace, Jamie announced she was hungry as they passed a Burger King. “You guys…you’re all pretty much still drunk, what makes you think I’d let you go into a public place? It’d be so embarrassing.” Sammy already began to put them off the subject of stopping anywhere until they were all out of her car.

“Embarrassing? Who’s going to be in a fast food restaurant at four am that’s going to give a shit?” Brian asked as he looked out the window trying to find a place they could stop.

“I don’t know…maybe the people who work there when you start up-chucking your fries.”

“Who said anything about fries? I really want a frosty.” Kendra claimed from the back. That was one of the first sentences that she’s said the whole time going home that didn’t have to do with how she felt.

“Fine. I’ll go through a drive through at Wendy’s. We are not going to fight; I’m ordering us all a double cheeses burger, fries, and a frosty. Got it?” Sammy explained as she pulled into the parking lot. Sure enough there was quite a bit of people eating at 4 am in the morning.

“See…aren’t we glad we didn’t go in?”

“No, the smell is nauseating.” Terri pointed the air conditioning towards the back seat where there were several puddles of vomit on the floor. As Sammy pulled the car into the line, Rickie who was asleep, woke up and announced he had to use the bathroom, “I’ve really got to piss,” He fidgeted as he sat in the car waiting for them to stop.

“Fine…just make it quick,”

“Don’t worry, I will. I’m a guy, not a girl, it doesn’t take me that long.”

“Oh really…I kind of got the idea you weren’t.” Terri teased him as he got out.

“Shut up, Terri.”

“Go Rickie! Go!” Terri laughed along with Jamie as they watched him run towards the glass door where he nearly toppled right over an old lady.

“Okay guys,” Sammy began as she rolled down the window and gave a woman their order.

“All right missy, that’d be twelve ninety-nine at the next window.” the women told them in a southern accent as Sammy accelerated to the next window. There was a knock on the side window and they all turned to see Rickie standing, wanting to be let in.

“Hey…I’ve got an idea.” Terri told them, a gleam in her eye.

“No…we couldn’t do that.”

“Why not?” Jamie wanted to know, already smiling.

“Because, he’s drunk and he’s really doing okay now. We don’t need to do something like that to him.”

“Oh come on Sam, live a little.”

“I did when I came to hang out with you guys. I had to sneak out.”

“You did?” Terri smiled as Sammy grabbed the bag of food from a guy at the pick-up window.

“Yeah…you think my parents would actually let me out? ‘Bye mom, dad, I’m going out for a while.’

‘Have fun!’ You think they’d say something like that?” Sammy explained imitating her parents, making them laugh.

“Hand me one of them frosties up there.” Kendra whined as they pulled towards the exit letting Rickie run behind, arms flailing wildly in the air.

“Here.” Terri handed Kendra one, who had moved up to the second back seat. “Guys! Let me in!” They heard Rickie shout as they pulled out, laughing all the way.

16: Sammy got worried about the whole idea of leaving Rickie running on the highway, so she pulled over to let him in.

“Finally.” He wheezed as the door slid open.

“I’m sorry guys…I just didn’t want him to get hurt.” Sammy apologized as she got frowns from her friends.

“He wouldn’t have gotten hurt, he runs track. He’d be able to dodge a car if it were going to hit him.” Kendra laughed as Sammy pulled away and started back down the road.

“You don’t know. He could have been drunk and dead. Then what would happen?” Sammy argued.

“Guys, stop worrying and pass me one of those Wendy burgers.” Rickie interrupted them as he buckled up in the back seat.

“I can’t believe you stopped…” Terri smiled at her friend giving her a punch in the shoulder.

“Ow…that hurt, Terri.” Sammy whined as she gripped her shoulder and the car swerved.

“Road!” Jamie yelled as they nearly hit another car. It honked angrily and pulled into a different lane.

“See what you made me do?” Sammy asked Terri.

“Me? You’re the one that wasn’t thinking about what you were doing.”

“Just drop it guys…you sure are fighting a lot.” Rickie spoke up his mouth full of hamburger.

“We’re not fighting. We’re getting irritated and distracted with each other’s problems.”

“Problems, huh?” Brian asked.

“Yeah, and you have the biggest one here.” Terri commented making them laugh.

“Sure…” Brian sighed as he looked out the window. Trees flew by and he caught site of a sign,

“Hey! We’re one hundred and fifty six miles away from home!”

“Really?” Kendra groaned.

“Why don’t we stop at a motel? I’m getting tired.” Jamie asked, yawning.

“A motel? We’re not even supposed to be out this late, and you want to stop?” Sammy turned to glare at Jamie, but then was yelled at for not watching the road. She immediately turned back to the wheel, where Terri, was steering from across the armrest.

“Yeah. Why not?” Terri asked.

“Because I know all of you probably lied to your parents about what you were going to do tonight.”

“You did too. I didn’t lie either, I said I was sleeping over at Terri’s.” Kendra spoke up.

“Yeah, but you’re not at her house and you’re not sleeping.” Sammy argued.

“No…but I’m with Terri.” Kendra giggled.

“Yeah, Sam, why can’t you just go with the flow?”

“I’ve gone with the flow this whole time.” She mumbled turning onto a ramp and into the Motel 8 parking lot.

17: “Quit poking me, Terri!” Jamie groaned from under the covers.

“Sorry. I told Sam to get the suite.”

“Can we rent a movie?” Rickie wanted to know from the bottom of the bed.

“Why not? I can’t sleep with all that noise coming in from the highway.” Sam said picking up the phone and pressing one.

“What should we get?” Kendra asked.

“Whatever.” Brian mumbled from across the room.

“I’m getting hungry.” Kendra told Terri.

“You just ate!”

“I know, but that beer is giving me a splitting headache, and the food might make it go away.”

“You mean aspirin might make it go away.”

“Sure…whatever. Just get me something, please?” she asked sweetly.

“Yeah.” Terri got out of the lumpy bed and went into the bathroom. “Here.” She said coming back out and giving Kendra two pills.

“Thanks T.” She smiled and swallowed them with the water she had gotten from the mini refrigerator.

“No problem.”

“Okay...we’re watching the old Friday the Thirteenth series.” Kendra said putting the phone down.

“Again? I just watched the marathon two days ago on Sci-Fi!” Brian whined.

“Too bad slugger, that’s what they had available at six in the morning.” Kendra patted his head, which he angrily swatted away.

“Fine…” he mumbled.

“See…now let’s all just get along, and hope no one pees they’re pants from all the beer they drank when they get scared.” Terri giggled along with Jamie who had made the comment. She had been awfully quite from the chair she sat at, a patchwork blanket covering her skinny arms.

“I hope you don’t barf everywhere.” Rickie snapped.

“Don’t worry about me, worry about yourself.” she spat back.

“Guys! Can’t we get along for at least five minutes?” Kendra asked from the bed.

“It’s going to take longer then that to watch all the movies.” Brian commented.

“Jeez…just shut up, okay?” Jamie asked.

“Fine…” they all mumbled, as they got comfortable. As the movie started, Terri looked across the room to see Brian, looking at her in an odd sort of way. When she looked back at the screen, and then back. She saw that he was still staring. A strange smirk plastered on his face. “What?” she asked irritated.

“Nothing.” he explained, and turned back to the screen. She turned back; Freddy was staring at her too.

18: Terri awoke up to a splitting headache, her head throbbed and her vision was blurry. She felt sick and her back hurt with the way she had fell asleep. She looked around the hotel room. Old flowered wallpaper made her feel dizzy and she got up tripping over a body. She looked down and saw Brian lying on floor sleeping, quiet snores came from him, as she listened to them she went into the bathroom. Splashing cold tap water on her face, she looked in the mirror. Her eyes were red rimmed and were droopy with tiredness. Her hair was a mess, frizz lingered at the top, and her mouth still had a sour look. She still had the taste of beer in her mouth, she looked through the condiments draw of the motel, finding peppermints she took one and unwrapped it, sucking on it slowly. She made her way back into the main part of the motel and saw that Rickie, Jamie, and Kendra weren’t where they fell asleep on the couch. She panicked and ran over to Sammy. She shook her roughly, “Sam, Sam, Rickie, Jamie, and Kendra aren’t in the room!” she whispered franticly. “What?” Sammy asked groggily.

“Sam! Jamie, Rickie, and Kendra aren’t in the room!”

“Rickie…Jamie…Kendra…oh my gosh we’ve got to find them!” Sammy realized, as she suddenly was wide-awake. Sammy jumped out of the bed and slipped into her Pumas following Terri out the door that was barefooted and worried. “Sam, what if they got lost? They’re drunk, who knows what could happen!”

“Shh…they’ll be okay, Terri. They will be okay, that doesn’t matter now, what does is finding them and getting them back to the room. Now come on, pull yourself together man!”

Terri laughed, “Alright. I’ll go check downstairs by the main office.”

“Okay, I’ll search upstairs and ask the manager if he has seen anybody wondering around.” Sammy gave Terri a hug and left. Terri watched Sam as she walked down the hall and turned out of Terri’s sight. Breathing slowly she took the stairs two at a time towards the commons. Terri wondered what Brian would think when he woke up to see no one in the room. Terri thought she should probably go check on him and went back up to the room. Brian was sitting on the bed, and looked up when he heard her come in. “Hey…Jamie, Rickie, and Kendra aren’t here and we’re going to find them. Do you want to help?” she asked as he looked at her. “Why are you looking at me that way, Brian?” she asked nervously.

“Looking at you what way?” he asked standing up.

“That way. Like you’re crazy.”

“It should be nothing new for you Terri, you know how crazy I can get.”

He smiled as she backed up to the wall as he walked forward standing close to her. She could feel his breath in her face, hot and musty. “Mind backing up, Sparky?” she asked laughing nervously. He wasn’t smiling, or laughing just standing so close to her she could feel his gaze burning a hole into her heart. She looked down, that’s what he was staring at, not her heart but her breasts. “What? Never seen them up close?” she asked.

“No…I see them all the time.”

“What are you talking about?”

“What do you think…do you ever think why you always find me and we keep coming back to each other?”

“Sure…why not…what do you mean ‘all the time’?”

“I see you when you’re sleeping Terri,” he whispered.

“Sleeping? What are you saying?” she looked around nervously; there was no way she could get past him. He was too big, too strong, he could take her out if he wanted to, just with one swing.

“I watch you, Terri. All the time, I can’t get enough of you.” He brushed his hand down her face. She shivered. She watched as his hand trailed down her body, “You mind?”

“No…I don’t.” He smiled as he watched her intently, squirming in his grasp as he pushed against the wall, trapping her with his weight.

“What are you doing?” she was frantic, who knew what he was going to do.

“What’s it look like?” he fingered her spaghetti strap, slipping it down her shoulder and feeling her cold skin.

“You scared?” he asked as he grinned menacingly. He didn’t give her time to reply, he kissed her holding her in place. She squirmed away from his kiss turning her cheek. “Brian…what are you thinking?” she asked looking at him. His cold stare was enough to make the rain forest freeze over, “You. What else?”

“That’s not what I meant. You’re drunk, we can’t do this.”

“Of course we can,” he reached behind her and locked the chain in place. She stood motionless as he played with her necklace, slowly leaning in and nipping at her skin. He leaned forward, kissing her smoothly, and holding her jaw in place, she whimpered helplessly. “Brian, I can have you arrested.” She whispered.

“No…you see no one will think it was I, but you. A lonely school girl, waiting for a good time to let hell break loose and get wild.” He laughed, an evil laugh, a hot laugh burning her like a skillet against her lips. He trailed kissed along her rigid jaw, her hair getting smothered by his masculine hand. She was scared, “What about at the beach? Why didn’t you do this then?”

“Because, anyone could interrupt. No one can interrupt us in here, not with the door locked. We have total privacy. Now I can really taste you…”

“I don’t want to be alone with you Brian, you’re scaring me.”

“No one ever does.” He whispered fiercely taking hold of her blouse and pulling her towards the bed. Throwing her against the headboard, hitting her already throbbing head. “We’re drunk…why are you doing this? You can’t suspect to be coordinated enough to rape someone!”

“That doesn’t matter, it still has the same effect.” He slipped her blouse off, throwing it to the floor she squirmed franticly. “No…no…” she felt tears brimming her eyes.

“Why not, honey?” he asked laughing.

“No…you won’t get away with this.” She looked at him as he franticly messed with his jeans. Holding her hands above her head, he held her in place. Letting her squirm as he unzipped her shorts.

“No…no…” she yelled trying to get someone to find her, find him, and take him away.

“No yelling in the room, babe.” He smiled as he placed his legs between her legs, parting them as he leaned towards her, kissing her wildly.

“No!” she yelled as the door burst open and Rickie stormed in,

“What the hell? Brian…” he walked towards him and threw him off of her, holding him against the wall. Kendra ran in and saw Terri’s sweaty, teary face,

“Oh honey…” she hurried towards Terri and held her close.

“I can’t believe this…” Kendra whispered, looking at Brian who looked heatedly at Terri who was balled up like a child in Kendra’s arms.

“He tried to rape me Ken…he tried to rape me…” she shook with anger, hurt, and confusion.

“Terri!” Sammy and Jamie yelled as they hurried into the room looking at Rickie, Brian, and then Terri, who shook uncontrollably while tears streaming down her face.

“Call the manager.” Sammy ordered Jamie, who was looking pale and frightened, as she went over to the phone and dialed the number.

“He’s coming, he said he’ll call the police.” Jamie whispered and hung up the phone while holding Terri with Kendra.

“I can’t stop shaking…” Terri held her arms across her chest, hiding her bra.

“Here.” Sammy took the comforter off the bed and wrapped it around Terri, who hugged her thankfully.

“You bastard!” Kendra got up and walked over to Brian who looked at Terri wryly,

“Still think I’m so good, Kendra, baby?”

He laughed as she shook with anger. Kendra looked over at Sammy, Terri then at Brian, pulling Rickie away; she brought her hand back and compelled it into Brian’s smiling face. He cried out and dropped to the floor, blood squirting out of his nose.

“You should get more than that, and forgive me if I actually have the courage to kill you.” She kicked him hard in his stomach that made him wheeze and hold his sides, trying to catch his breathe. She brought her boot back again ready for another kick,

“You son of bitch should die for what you’ve done!” she yelled,

“Ken, don’t!” Terri screamed as Sammy turned and looked at her. Terri shook and wiped the tears away from the images that still streamed through her mind like a message. “Don’t hurt him. That’ll only get you in trouble.” Terri said, pulling Kendra away, and bringing her back to the bed. Rickie leaned over and picked up Brian, who pulled away, and lunged at Kendra who backed away terrified. Rickie recovered and pulled Brian away,

“You manwhore should shut the hell up!” he pulled Brian’s smiling face back and threw a punch at his nose that still bleed. Brian’s scream was like a siren that echoed all through the room as the manager and police walked in.

“What the hell happened?” It was the same officer from before.

“This is the room, these kids have a problem.” The manager motioned to the six that sat looking at the policeman wordlessly.

“Well…mind telling me what you did this time?” the officer peculiarly looked over at Sam. Sam looked at Terri, then back at the officer. Sammy held onto Terri sweaty hand,

“She almost got raped, Rickie got here just in time...” Sammy glanced at Rickie who stood holding Brian like it was his life at stake.

“I see…well…” The officer walked over to Brian pulling his head up to look him in the eye. Throwing him on the bed, he latched the cuffs around his wrists.

“I’ll be calling you for questioning at home. So be ready for a call and having to come to court if you want to press charges.” He looked over at Terri and then at Sam who was trembling with fear.

Terri looked at Brian who was shaking with anger, “I’ll come back, Terri. We always find a way back to each other.”

As the officer hauled Brian away, the manager made the proposal of letting them go without charge.

“Thank you, we should probably be getting back home anyways…” Sammy drifted off as she looked around the room at the heads that hung low with disappointment. “I love you, Terri.” Kendra whispered holding Terri close in a friendly way.

“Thanks…all of you…” Terri whispered as tears streamed down her face, holding them close.

“Anything for a friend, right?” Sammy asked smiling weakly as she held onto Terri.


19: Terri sat in her room, watching as the shadows move across the wall, car lights shining in. She felt the comforter of her bed, soft and lightweight, daisy flowers spread out among the cotton. She put her head on the pillow, feeling the other pillow, her hand stroking it nice and smoothly. “Honey? May I come in?” a familiar voice asked. She jumped and turned to see her mother, standing in the doorway. “Yeah, sure.” Terri sat up, smoothing out her shirt that she’s worn for the last five days. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“What about?”


“Oh mom, you can’t be serious!”

“Terri, you’ve skipped out on school for the whole year. You sat in your

Is this a review?



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9 Reviews

Points: 890
Reviews: 9

Tue Mar 14, 2006 12:52 am
BustedFlush says...

Wow even though it did have some grammer mistakes I still enjoyed it. I understand though because I make alot of mistakes. I also liked the story because I can relate it to alot of nights I have had.

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94 Reviews

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Reviews: 94

Tue Jan 24, 2006 12:01 pm
Jojo says...

Woooooooh!! That was something!!!
Why doesn't this have a R rating?

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23 Reviews

Points: 890
Reviews: 23

Tue Apr 26, 2005 8:26 pm
mysterywriter wrote a review...

mattie - i think that this is a good plot, there are some grammar mistakes but i wouldn't be one to correct them since i make a lot of them myself. :lol: but overall i thought it was good. the only other suggestion i would make to you is: elaborate more on the fact that brian tried to rape her but wasn't successful. i know he totally violated her with what he did but if he had gone through with it, it would have been a lot worse for her i would imagine. - does that make sense?

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Points: 690
Reviews: 1

Fri Apr 01, 2005 7:21 am
Jennythemenace wrote a review...

Only one reply? Maybe it’s because its so long….

You know I’ve read it before so I only read the last bit of it and I didn’t really find Terris conversation with her mother believable, “Don’t you know there are far worst things that I could be doing to relieve the pain? I could kill myself”

We all know she’s just acting out but is that something you say, especially to your mother? Maybe it’s just me who has problems with my mom and doesn’t know that there are people out there who actually speak to their mothers… :roll:

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137 Reviews

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Reviews: 137

Mon Mar 14, 2005 3:11 pm
DarkerSarah wrote a review...


This was pretty good, except, something cut off at the end. I guess it was too long or something.

My main advice is to hurry the beginning up. Maybe you could take out #2 to speed things along. It was hard to get through that part.

There are a few grammatical and punctuation errors, but seeing as this is so long, I don't have that much time go through and correct them all. I would just suggest looking through it a few more times yourself and seeing if you catch any.

How do you know I was sneaking?

"What makes you think I was sneaking?" sounds better.

I offered this advice to someone a couple of days ago: I think the entire piece would sound better if you took out a lot of the physical description of the characters.

Like a little boy he had two dimples in his cheeks, wavy sandy blonde hair to his ears, and sparkling blue eyes.

Direct description like that is sometimes boring to read. The only exception I found in this story is at the beginning when Terry is looking at herself in the window.

You have to seize the moment, go with the flow, live as if you’re going to die the next day for Christ sakes!

"Go with the flow" doesn't really fit in with the other two.

This could be good with revisions. It may be a little cliche, but oy, everything's cliche nowadays!

Good luck. I look forward to reading more of your pieces.


By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return.
— Genesis 3:19