Young Writers Society

Okay, so I have actually listened to Welcome to Nightvale (I've only gotten to the Election and Strexcorp Arc, so please don't spoil me) which made me slightly confused when I read this and there was no Lovecraftian surrealism involved. However much I love Welcome to Nightvale, I don't think referencing it would fit this particular work (even though Nightvale does show hints of political messages and American values in it, however morphed those values are). Especially considering Nightvale isn't exactly a celebration of Nightvale and all of it's values (like this podcast would celebrate American ideals), rather Nightvale reads more like the everyday going-ons of an Orwellian nightmare that happens to be better than the overwrought capitalist cult of Strexcorp--in other words, framing the Redacted and America through a WTNV reference sounds like you're comparing Nightvale to the American Dream, which I don't think is the point you're trying to make (but it's an interesting point on paper). Though that's my personal reading of WTNV, you may defend your own if you'd like. And as a reference, it's still pretty interesting.

But I diggress. Onto the work!

Rules of the Game (Harris)- In ‘Rules of the Game’ Waverly is a chess playing prodigy. Her mother, Mrs. Jong, takes advantage of this by showing her off to neighbors as if she were a trophy. How tacky!

It is only when Waverly lashes out at her mother for her actions that she becomes angry and stops using Waverly to show off.

It also shows how social class can change and that poverty is not permanent in America. Waverly learns to play Chess and changes her life forever by becoming popular.

It also reflects the American ideal of opportunity because the boys were able to get a job, go to school, maintain a normal lifestyle, and attain their hopes and dreams. There was so much more opportunity in America in comparison to Sudan.

Rice and Rose Bowl Blues (Sierra)- The girl wanted to be like one of the boys; playing football and not having responsibilities, but her mother wanted her to be lady-like and do all the things that girls her age should know how to.

Here's another interesting piece Zelda,

I love your creativity!

As a formatting sort of thing, I think it'd be more effective to just use pseudonymns rather than "redacted" as "redacted" is a little distracting for readers. Although I'm assuming in your real piece you wouldn't have that, so really no issue there.

I think the line of progression in your argument for why the story showed American Ideals made sense logically. And I like that you looked outside of just America for this story too.

A few things I think didn't make a ton of sense, and might need to be detailed out a bit more:
This claim: "Waverly has the opportunity to be whoever she wants regardless of her parents’ choice, which is exactly the opportunity America offers." -- is it actually true for immigrants that they can be whatever they choose in America versus other countries?

Also the whole trope of people from Asian countries all wanting their children to be concert pianists, I think is a bit of a limited scope of what exists in the world. It might be good to expand the example to more than just one story, and if possible even include statistics in it .

Finally, you give many ideals that are considered "American" but you never explain how they aren't universal ideals or where America gets them from. You could use the declaration of independence, American culture commentary, or quotes from Presidents about the "American Dream" to establish it, but I think that many countries have ideals of "freedom" and "prosperity". In your initial list: "equality, freedom, money, opportunity, liberty, prosperity, rights, democracy" I would say maybe change "money" to consumerism or capitalist, because "money" isn't quite an ideal.

It might also be worth exploring what ideals other countries excell at that the US doesn't do quite as well -- like other countries are often more community based, or devout, or even industrious than the US. Our ideals don't make us better or worse - they're just differences.

Anyways, I think this was a fabulous topic to explore, and I'd be curious to know more about the story and poem you reference in the piece.


Happy Writing,

alliyah