Hey Adam!
I'll make this short!
Okay so firstly, the narration and perspective is good. Sinister and evil as the whole tone is, it gives me an idea about how the poem will go. Though I might be in the minority here (but maybe it's mostly because I've read many poems like this), but to me, it seemed quite obvious as to where the course of the poem was heading. But that's just me. ^.^
Half-rhymes are cool, but not when you recycle them in the same stanza. The charm loses its hold. But you've limited that to the second stanza and made the rest of the poem sound good, rhyme-wise (also, try using more complex rhymes. 'mother', 'father' etc., isn't something particularly creative. I expect a lot more, especially from you!).
I would suggest you deepen the vocabulary of this piece. A lot of simple words in a poem don't bring out as much excitement and meaning to the whole plot since it becomes far to easy to figure out for the reader. It's too simple brief. Broaden the piece a bit more, add more length to the lines and let there be harmony in the syllable counts for the rhyming. Add more descriptions to the way she looks, the way the narrator gets infatuated with her innocence and becomes insanely obsessed with his muse.
All-in-all, I've found myself a bit underwhelmed but at the same time, I appreciate the fact that you've attempted this kind of poem. Though having read the same 'Insane psychopathic killer' formula, it would have been nice to read something different and non-conventional. Maybe try to broaden his attachment to her and build on a story through the relationship that they share so that the reader may find some likability with the characters and reminisce over the bond they once shared until the end saw him with blood-stained hands... or something along those lines. 
This is good piece. And you've done well to portray the central character in this poem. It's short, doesn't ask for too much, but then also, it is forgettable. Not the best you've written yet, but definitely not bad by any means! Keep the ink flowing, Adam! You're a great writer!
And I think this review isn't as short as I planned to have it... hehe.
Murtuza
Points: 9525
Reviews: 249
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