...

First off, this is a sarcastic song. If you are religious then I suggest that you don't read this. It has the potential to be extremely offensive. It isn't hating on Jesus- it's about how people around me claim they are Christian but know little about the religion. The title is very misleading and I apologise for it. I also apologise if I have greatly offended you with this song. It isn't meant to be taken seriously. It's me criticising society's almost "bandwagon" approach to religion; I'm not saying that all Christians are bandwagon jumpers, but I have noticed this- especially in young people- taking shape. Again, if you desperately want me to tone it down, by all means tell me. I wouldn't say "enjoy the song", but read it and analyse it. It isn't just a typical "religion sucks" song. Try not to be put off by the crude title, even though it is really hard not to. Thank you.

I Rape Jesus
I haven't even read the fucking bible.

I rape Jesus-
like I fuck my wife.
I rape Jesus-
much like Mary's life.
So burn the bible-
God would be so proud.
Fuck him real hard-
to make my point loud.

Crucify him-
to the softest bed.
Feed him adverts-
force him to give head.
Hitler is looming-
on my shoulder too.
God, please don't stop me-
I know what to do.

God hates gays?
Well I disagree.
Jesus loves you,
so he must love me.

I want to eat him.
Like he's mine.
Like he's my propaganda pie.

So I rape Jesus-
like I fuck my wife.
I rape Jesus-
much like Mary's life.
He makes me crazy-
makes me always smile.
So I rape Jesus-
capitalist clown.

My clown, not yours!
My holy clown, mine!
Jesus is mine!

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Tue Jul 01, 2014 10:30 am

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Renard wrote a review...

Hmm.
This is a deliberately controversial work. You can tell that by the fact it doesn't have a title. At first, I thought it was going to be another of your deleted works (which are always funny) hee hee. But no, there is actually text here. Firstly, addressing the author's note:

First off, this is a sarcastic song. If you are religious then I suggest that you don't read this. It has the potential to be extremely offensive. It isn't hating on Jesus- it's about how people around me claim they are Christian but know little about the religion. The title is very misleading and I apologise for it. I also apologise if I have greatly offended you with this song. It isn't meant to be taken seriously. It's me criticising society's almost "bandwagon" approach to religion; I'm not saying that all Christians are bandwagon jumpers, but I have noticed this- especially in young people- taking shape. Again, if you desperately want me to tone it down, by all means tell me. I wouldn't say "enjoy the song", but read it and analyse it. It isn't just a typical "religion sucks" song. Try not to be put off by the crude title, even though it is really hard not to. Thank you.

The fact that you have to explain what you are trying to do with this work is a bad idea I think, because it's all open to artistic interpretation anyway; and you don't need to prove yourself to your reader about tackling controversial issues and sharing yours or your narrator's opinions on them.

Now for the actual work itself:

Crucify him-
to the softest bed.
Feed him adverts-
force him to give head.
Hitler is looming-
on my shoulder too.
God, please don't stop me-
I know what to do.

I can summarise it in this stanza. The use of hyphens is over done to break the line. and therefore the meaning. The combination of God and Hitler is an unusual one, but it confirms the standpoint of the narrator.
This work was very dramatic; and as you pointed out, it was also meant to be sarcastic.
But were you just deliberately trying to be offensive for effect?
It is well written, but you have played around with the formatting too much.
Keep writing.

~R

Points: 28467
Reviews: 675

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Tue Apr 17, 2012 4:30 pm

lilymoore wrote a review...

Hey there AJ. I have to apologize for how long it took me to get this review to you. It really took me some time to actually figure out just how to review these lyrics for you.

I haven't even read the f*****g bible.

For some reason, I rather like that you started it all off with this statement. It’s like putting your credentials into the lyrics, very blatantly but it carries a certain sort of honesty with it as well.

Crucify him-
to the softest bed.

One thing about this threw me off and that was the “softest” part. If it was just added for the sake of maintaining the lyrical rhythm, well, having it seem so soft in an otherwise rough set of actions, and a replacement word, something grungy and decrepit that stays in the tone of the poem.

I want to eat him.
Like he's mine.
Like he's my propaganda pie.

This bridge or whatever you would like to call it, seems out of place in the piece as a whole. Suddenly, the action set list has turned from sexual to food based. And that makes this whole chunk seem off, even if it was intended to carry some sexual innuendo behind it.

Overall, personally, I wasn’t too fond of this but a lot of that is more of a personal opinion than anything else. I doubt I would exactly be considered the intended audience for this anywho. But you have definitely done a great job conveying the point of the poem.

Best of luck!
~lilymoore

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Reviews: 324

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Sat Apr 07, 2012 6:04 pm

Threnody wrote a review...

Hey A, I gotta say, in my opinion, this is a great piece. I definitely get what you were trying to convey with it and the aggressive frankness you used is actually pretty refreshing. It's not every day when you get to read such a candid point of view.

To be honest, I don't really know how to approach this in terms of technicality. I can't really hear it as a song in my head. I can sorta hear Louis Armstrong singing it to the tune of What a Wonderful World but I don't really think that's what you intended. Some of the rhymes are a bit forced, but then again, they only accentuate the your off-kilter style. Also, sometimes the rhythm is thrown off by an uneven iambic pentameter. Perhaps if you evened out the syllable count in a few of the lines that don't quite match...like

"I rape Jesus
Much like Mary's life."

it could flow just a bit smoother.

In all, great piece, and like I said, I commend you're bravery for posting something like this. It's really in your face and hard to ignore, just like the problem it addresses.

Threnody