z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

The Entwined Tale of the Wishcraftress - Chapter 1

by TinkerTwaggy


Prologue

Once upon a time, in an empty world, existed a single being. He was the Monarch, and he sought Creation. Using his godly might, he filled his world with life and everything needed for it to spread and evolve safely. But the Monarch was not satisfied yet. He created more and more worlds, more and more beings, more and more ways for life to develop and thrive. The worlds mushroomed one after another, and although the Monarch enjoyed watching his creations evolve, he realized that he could not look after all of them, nor prevent any catastrophe if the creations were to fight with each other while he was away. On top of this, his world had turned into a chaotic Universe, and the only way for him to prevent utter chaos was to destroy some of his worlds in order for everything to be balanced. Therefore, the Monarch sought Creation and Destruction.

To add balance to his universe, the Monarch decided to create an Emissary that would visit the different worlds, directly bond with the creatures inside of them and fix any spotted trouble. It was a long and tiresome process, but the Emissary did not mind, for she had developed a strong fondness for the beings. So much, in fact, that she decided to use her own power to grant the wishes of those who, according to her judgment, deserved to get her attention. She named herself Wishcraftress, because big or small, trivial or ambitious, she did not mind as long as the wish she had to grant respected what she sought: Ideal and Truth.

Although her new course of action helped bringing balance to the worlds, the Monarch was not happy that one of his creations was trying to work by itself, beyond his own control. One day, he summoned her and spoke to her in those words:

“I am the one who brings true balance, and I shall not tolerate that one of my own creations does not completely obey my command.”

“Forgive me, my Monarch,” she answered, puzzled. “I merely wanted to make your fastidious task easier by using a power of my own.”

“And what is this power that you have, Emissary, that you seem to believe I cannot use myself?” he asked.

“It is the power to grant wishes, my Monarch. You are the keeper of balance, therefore you cannot watch over all of your creations. I, however, am now closely bonded with the Creatures from Down Below, and it is the sympathy that I have for them that created this power. I now use it to prevent too much chaos, anger and frustration to spread among them, so that they do not destroy themselves.”

“It is a noble task,” admitted the Monarch, “but if they destroy each other, then so be it. Creation and Destruction: that, Emissary, is what the balance is all about. You are spoiling them by giving them what they want!”

“I am not. I only grant wishes to those who deserve it, and as my wisdom descends from yours, my Monarch, I know that my judgment cannot be wrong.”

The Monarch stared at his defying Emissary. Perhaps she was right. Perhaps this was a good way to prevent anymore trouble and tasks that he did not had the time to deal with. But as an almighty being, the Monarch could not easily let go of his ideas. He needed to be sure this was not a mistake.

“Very well,” he decided. “I shall now test your resolve, and see if you are indeed right to act as you do. What do you seek?”

“I seek Ideal and Truth, my Monarch,” answered the Wishcraftress. “Those are elements that can form inside of each of your sentient creations, and it is by detecting them that I can grant wishes precious to their souls.”

She perceived an enigmatic smile on the face of her Monarch.

“Then may the test begin. You found two forces to balance your own being with: Truth and Ideal.

I shall therefore make these two fragments of yourself confront each other. If they are able to find harmony between one another, then the path you have chosen is indeed a righteous path. If, however, no harmony can ever exist between them, then you have chosen the wrong path, and you will be punished. Do you agree?”

“Yes, my Monarch. I agree, and I accept the test.”

The Monarch created a new world and flung his Emissary into it. With a bright light, she split into two halves that landed on opposite sides of the world.

“Good luck, my Emissary”, said the Monarch, watching from afar. “May the path you have chosen be the good one.”

******

Chapter 1: Silvastell

Once upon a time, on a cloudless night, was a shiny shooting star flying across the world. Its beauty was seen by all, and every inhabitant of the world saw this unusual event as a sign of hope. This event was later remembered as the Wisher's Night, a special moment when anyone could make a wish and hope for it to be granted.

The comet crashed into a forest, and a small child got out of it, like a butterfly finally getting out of its cocoon. Inhabitants from the forest came by and saw the unconscious girl next to the fallen comet.

Her short, golden hair spread across each side of her face. She wore a long white and violet scarf around her neck, with a star-shaped item stuck in it. .With her elegant blue dress, a calm yet impressive aura emanated from her and, even in her sleep, she was indeed a beautiful creature to gaze at. And it is respectfully that the inhabitants of the forest brought the little girl to their village, for they strongly believed she was a goddess who came to help them.

When she awoke, she said that her name was Stella, but that she did not remember anything else. The villagers decided to treat her as one of their own, and she remained with them until she reached her maturity.

Stella was always calm and mild, but she was also distracted and often stayed stuck in her own bubble. She had a passion for everything related to art, and her adoptive parents often found her dancing in her room, singing, or even drawing something. She was also seen as fragile by the others, but she proved more than once that surviving in the forest was not a problem for her after she learned how to do so. But, even while going through dangerous forests or vicious jungles with her family to look for food, Stella would never go out without her star-shaped object in her scarf. As she grew up, more and more of those fetishes would decorate her hair and scarf, but the biggest one remained the first one.

“What are those stars for?” asked a villager one day.”

“I don't know,” she vaguely answered. “I really like stars. Do you want to try and make some with me?”

Years later, during Stella's 17th Wisher's Night, Stella once again assisted to the event with her family. As expected, a shooting star flew across the night sky and every inhabitant of the forest's village made a wish.

“I wish to regain my memories,” murmured Stella. “I wish to find who I am, and what is my purpose in this world.”

Stella's biggest star, the one located in her scarf and the first one she ever had, started shining in the dark, startling the villagers. Then, it disappeared.

And the girl's wish was granted.

A sudden warm light enveloped her during a couple of seconds, and it vanished.

“I am Stella, the Starry Wishcraftress, Seeker of Truth,” she recited peacefully. “I have reached the World from Down Below and shall grant the wishes of the spirits of Truth, those who follow my path and deserve to receive my gifts.”

She turned back and smiled to her beloved community.

“Thank you. I have survived the many hostilities that this world contain, and it is all thanks to you.

I have fulfilled the first part of my test, but it is alone that I must continue my quest. I shall grant all of your deepest wishes and take my leave, but know that we shall meet again, as long as your hearts desire it.”

With a spark of light, she vanished, leaving a pile of star-shaped jewels behind her.

Over the course of the Wisher's Night, an individual known as the Starry Wishcraftress granted wishes to every being she believed was suited to have his or her wish granted. She stopped disputes between families, ceased wars between groups, ended century-long quarrels between nations and put feuds to rest. People from across the world would remember the happy night and seek for Truth, for now they knew that their greatest wishes could be granted if they were chosen by the one they worshiped.

Tired of her night, the Starry Wishcraftress created her own realm, Silvastell, a land ruled by forests, trees and dangerous animals, impossible to reach for ordinary beings. Stella could rest peacefully and wait for the next Wisher's Night.

During the year that followed, the Starry Wishcraftress would occasionally sneak out of her secret realm and collect wishes of people from all around the World from Down Below. They were all eagerly waiting for the next Wisher's Night, and the Wishcraftress found herself eager to accomplish her duty as well.

However, her impatience lowered her guard.

Indeed, when the Wisher's Night finally came, Stella found strange creatures occupying her territory. She realized with horror that there were stealing the star-shaped wishes she had collected and stored away in the Silvastell.

“Foul demons!” she shouted to the group of dark shades in front of her, showing signs of sheer anger for the first time in her life. “I do not know from what wicked hole you came from, but you will give me back those wishes and get back to where your own realm THIS INSTANT, for my vendetta will be merciless if you do not obey!”

Without waiting for an answer, the angered Wishcraftress took a star as big as her eye stuck in her hair.

From my Monarch, I shall get power!” she chanted. “Grant my fiery wish and let me bend the laws of nature as I please!

The star vanished and Stella opened her hand. A fireball appeared and she threw the deadly projectile to the creatures in front of her. Two of the five fiends were burnt, but the others fled and let out frightful cries to call for more of their allies.

Stella gathered all the creatures from Silvastell and, united, they fought bravely against the invaders.

After a tiresome and unequal war, the outnumbered Wishcraftress' army was defeated. Tears in her eye, Stella had no choice but to flee and let all the wishes from Down Below to her enemies.

As the Wisher's Night progressed, Stella understood what the demons had done: she saw her stars raining through the sky, falling on people's head, light houses on fire, unleashing storms and wreaking havoc where she had grated wishes of all the followers of her Truth.

The wishes had been corrupted, and she could only watch as the chaos she had so hardly tried to prevent finally happened before her eyes. And as painful tears rained down her cheeks, she remembered something.

Truth and Ideal. If they are able to find harmony between one another, then the path you have chosen is indeed a righteous path”.

“O my Monarch,” she lamented. “Forgive me... I had forgotten...”

She had believed that her Truth was the only possible hope for the people from Down Below. She had completely denied her other half. Her Twin. The one that was certainly living the same situation, somewhere else in this world.

“I must find her. I must find my Twin. Only with our combined might this terrible mistake can be repaired!”

The Starry Wishcrafteress decided to roam the World from Down Below until she found her Twin. For it was only by accepting her other half and her Ideal that she could, perhaps, atone for her innocent sin.


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260 Reviews


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Sun Jan 25, 2015 9:32 am
TriSARAHtops wrote a review...



Hello! I noticed this story in the Green Room, so I thought I'd rescue it. And I'd like to apologise in advance for any typos that this review might have. Touchscreens and I do not tend to get along. @_@

I think Masq has pointed out most of the techical issues. The one thing that I'd like to add as that you started both the prologue and the first chapter with 'once upon a time'. In both cases, it worked, but doublong it up kind of made it lose some of its pzazz. Maybe start the prologue with it and chapter one with something else, or vice versa. One of my favourite books does start wih the sentence 'once upon a time' (it's sort of a modern day fairytale. The darker kind though, not the Disney type), and with your story I like it as a beginning - but just not twice in a row!

Your writing style was rather lovely. It had this gorgeous mystical feel to it, that totally suited the story. It gave it atmosphere, and you had some gorgeous imagery. The pitfall of this style may be that the reader feels a little disconnected, but I think if you handle it well enough it might make the story something really special and enchanting.

Mild issue with pacing here, in my opinion. A lot is going on in chapter one, so at stages it feels a little too summary-ish, and in this case the style doesn't help matters. Maybe just spend a little time making sure that Important Event (such as Stella's wish revealling her as the Witchcraftess, or the fight with the creatures, par exemple) aren't rushed.

I'm really and honestly interested by this story. Your first chapter and prologue have provided an excellent hook into the story, and I want to know more (you'll be seeing me at chapter two, that's for certain!). This story realy does,feel like it's got a lot of potential. I'm excited to see where it goes.

An questions, just give me a shout. 'Twas a pleasure to read. :-)




TinkerTwaggy says...


Hello there, Trisarah, and thanks a ton for the review!
Pff. Don't fret about it. I have issues with typos as well, as you've seen in this text XD

Y-yeah... That's actually a practical issue. Originally the Prologue and Chapter one are separated text, but I didn't want to post just the Prologue and Chapter 1 only, so I combined them into one file and published the second chapter afterwards. When I actually edit the prologue, it'll be longer and by itself.

Thanks :) Glad I managed to get the atmosphere part right, 'twas the main challenge.
Disconnected you say? Well then... I believe the reader might feel a LOT more connected in Chapter 3... :) But thanks again.

Yes. That issue comes from me: I always thought thatfairy tales were a lot summary-ish, so I thought it'd work if I did while keeping a good pace to the text. But it odes feels... rushed.
Oh. Those are darn good suggestions. *takes notes*

I am immensely glad that you are! See you in Chapter 2, then! Trust me, i also was a pleasure to write :)



TriSARAHtops says...


No worries. The disconnectedness was more of a potential problem, it could happen, but it hopefull won't ! :-)



TinkerTwaggy says...


Ah, I see. may or may not, depends on the person I guess. Fingers crossed! But it should definitely disappear next chapter.



TriSARAHtops says...


I just realised it's "Wishcraftess" not " Witchcraftess". *sigh*



TinkerTwaggy says...


yeah that was a pun. I should probably highlight the pun so it's clear to everyone.



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Sun Jan 25, 2015 12:57 am
Masquerade wrote a review...



Hi Tortwag, I am Masq and I shall be reviewing your chapter this fine Review Day.

Well first, I want to say that I like the fairy tale style of it, but I do find it a bit odd to be using that style for what is presumably going to be a chapter book. Already in a prologue and one short chapter you have covered a lot of ground, and I'm wondering if the style is going to change to a more conventional (for lack of a better word) one or if this is how it's going to be for the entire story. It seems intentional, and I do like how you use this sort of simple fairy tale style while also using some big words and sophisticated language sprinkled in.

I'm going to start with some nitpicks:

The worlds mushroomed one after another


This isn't really a nitpick, I just wanted to point this line out because I really liked it.

n it. .With her


Looks like a typo here with the period before the "With".

And it is respectfully


You just switched tenses here for a second. "It" should be "was."

more of those fetishes would decorate


I know this word has multiple meanings, but just because of the more popular and well-known meaning I might consider using a word other than fetish.

Stella once again assisted to the event with her family.


I was kind of confused by this line. Do you mean that her family assisted her to get to the event? Or were you meaning to use a different word? Or...?

where she had grated wishes


Just a typo again. Should be "granted".

Okay, nitpicks out of the way, I'd like to talk some more about the story. I was following it pretty well at the beginning, but towards the end I got a bit confused. I gathered that Stella is "truth" and then her twin is "ideal." But I am confused by who the dark creatures that stole the stars were. At first I thought they were somehow connected to "ideal" but then it seemed like they weren't, and then I was just confused. Also, I see that truth and ideal are too halves of the Emissary, but are they literally two halves of her, or did the Monarch just create them to represent her two halves?

Lastly, I'm a bit confused why you chose "truth" and "ideal." I thought about it a bit, and then I decided it was because ideal is how something would be in a perfect scenario, but truth is how it really is, so they're sort of opposites? At first I was a bit unclear on this, which I think is partly because I tend to think of "ideal" in terms of the adjective, not the noun. Anything you could do in the story to clear that up would be great.

Lastly, I wish there was more setting description. The fairy tale style doesn't always have a lot of description, but it would have been cool to hear what all these different worlds look like.

Anyways, I think you have a good start here. It's fun and interesting and written pretty well. Good job.

Happy Review Day,
Masq




TinkerTwaggy says...


Hey there Masq! Thanks a ton for the review :) Lemme have the pleasure to answer to it.
It is intentional, yes. I'm kind experimenting with the fairy tale vibe, and this work is actually a birthday present for some twin friends of mine, actually. That may be a reason why so many things are going on so fast, but I tried my best to keep the pace enjoyable.

....Oooooooooh, fetishes. Right. The connotation you're speakin' of is not as strong in French (my native language), so that's why i didn't really think about it. That aside, thanks for the nitpicks, it's ALWAYS useful, and I shall correct my story ASAP.

You seem very confusing as to who the dark creatures are, but I cannot answer you without spoiling you :p That's a mystery that will only be reveale in Chapter 3, and actually that 3rd chapter answers quite a good chunk of your interrogations.

And no the Twins are LITTERALY two halves of the Wishcraftress, I believe I mentioned the Monarch splitting his Emissary into to halves, at the beginning.

You pretty much got it covered. Truth is how you'd be able to see things the way they are, without illusions. Ideal is how you'd be able to see things the way you want them to be, but not necessarily how they really are.
They're opposites in a way, because Truth is rational, and Ideal is not. You can't have an unrealistic dream and say to yourself "it's not gonna work because of this, this and this" at the same: usually thoughts like that don't get along. See what I mean?

...Huh. Good point. I usually do descriptions pretty well if I do say so myself, but I thought it would've been too much for this style. Huh. Thanks for the suggestion :D

Thank you! I shall keep on going then, see you in Chapter 2!

Happy Review Day to you too! Best of luck!
~Shell Master Tortwag




rule #1 of being a potato: potatoes gotta defend their friends from negative self-talk
— Spearmint