Highway

I liked the format it made the words "Highway", "Alive" and "Heart" like a secret whisper, and the gave the words an subtle, electric energy. It definitely made me feel refreshed somehow. Fab stuff xXx

Interesting formatt, it's short, but very rarely styled. I imagine that the words highway, alive, and heart are meant to be said in a whisper or a distant voice, like from somewhere else. Very interesting.

This is a short poem, but it's a good poem. Your sensory imagery was fantastic and I could actually picture someone driving down the highway. The poem had a great idea behind it, and you wrote it out marvelously. Your spelling and grammar were great, and I would really look forward to reading more of your work if you wrote some more. This was overall an amazing piece of literature.

Tyler.

I really admire anyone who can take three stanzas and turn it into anything worth reading. This is definitely one of those cases. It takes a serious command of language and an understanding of rhythm. With so few words, you were able to convey this strong feeling of freedom, and of ease. I don't even think it was your word choice that dominated this result -- it was the way you spaced things, the format that you used, the words that you chose to emphasize.

It's always lovely to see someone who appreciates what proper formatting can do for a poem. I'd usually suggest punctuation, but that doesn't seem to apply here. The fact that your poem flows freely and without restriction allows the stanzas themselves to contribute to the subject. It rolls off the tongs, and then it's like falling forward when your eyes skip to the italicized word -- then you're caught by the next verse.

Sorry I haven't really critiqued very much; I found this piece to be lovely and refreshing. Awesome work!

I remember you were asking for reviews on this last night, in chat, so I thought, why not? And here I am! As the others have said, it has a nice simplicity to it and the flow is good, but it isn't like woah, this is the most incredible poetry ever! If you don't mind about that, then ignore me, but I think it would benefit from some slightly stronger imagery...

I like rolling down
The windows while
Driving down the

Highway. [First stanza is good, nice use of repetition and it sets the scene so no problems here.]

All the cold wind
Rushing around me
Makes me feel

Alive. [I don't like the first line. 'All' is too generic and I think you should use a simile or a metaphor here. What's the cold wind like? Maybe something along the lines of:

Opening myself up
to the cold, iron words of
the wind. I'm exposed. I'm
Alive]

The frigid air
Flooding my lungs
Restarts my battered

Heart. [I'm not sure I like 'battered' but restarts is a good choice of words; it would be really cool if you could work in some more car imagery, draw some parallels between hearts and car batteries. That would add a little more personality.]

Well thanks for the read and I hope that helps a little,

Heather xxx

I was going to comment on the fact that highway and the other words were so far away and that they'd look better if they were a bit closer, but that doesn't seem to be an issue, so that's good. I like the structure of the poem and the fact that you could separate the stanzas into three different poems and they could stand on their own and still make sense and be whole. You conveyed your message and made an image in my head without having to you lots of description really, just a little description and feelings and the reader's imagination can do the rest of the work. Good job.

It's a good thing you didn't manage to make those three words come together with the rest of the poem because I like this structure. It somehow add effect to the poem...I don't know, some sort of suspense? (I don't know if that's the right word.)
I like your poem. It's simple and lovely.
Keep 'em coming!

Alright, so, I'm a little torn as to wether to like this poem or not. One one hand, it's simple, and I'm not much for simple poetry. I always want to read long poems that play with the readers imagination. On the other hand, though it was short, your had some good imagery in there, and I liked that.
If I were you, to ease my confused mind, I'd keep the same format, but add a few more stanza covering more emotion and the narrator's story

~WickedWonder

Short, simplistic, (which is fine) but awfully gimmicky.
I thought the first stanza was plain boring and a waste of space to be honest. There wasn't anything poetic about it and I didn't get anything from it except that you like to roll the window down on the highway.
Which brings me to my second point. This poem was gimmicky. There are ways to express a pause without moving your words to odd ends of the page. I understand you had to center it but that still doesn't make sense. I'd be happy to hear what you think of this and maybe you can explain it to me.
Otherwise I enjoyed the last stanza.

Hello, Masquerade!

This was a fairly simple poem, but all the same, I liked it. The theme (traveling joy) is easily relate-able. It's an awesome feeling of freedom that you get when you're just driving and the wind is in your hair, and it doesn't matter when you get where you're going. The centered thing threw me off at first, but when I read your spoiler I got it. Why don't you just use the space bar to align the text to where they need to be?

Happy Writing!
Bailey

I love the form of this poem. It required me to pause and reminisce times when I have experienced this same thing. It has inspired me to get more creative with the structure of my writings. Bravo kid! Keep it up and know that you have quite the chunk of talent

I concur. It is a short piece, but sometimes those pieces make us feel the greatest. Those pieces invoke in us memories from our past ranging from things lost to freedom, as I felt as I read this piece. The formatting is good too. I rather enjoy how far apart the third words that stand alone are. It reminds me of going fast on the highway. Good job my friend. Teehee!!!!!!!

I liked this, it was nice and simple yet had some good imagery I think.
Kept my mind open.
It also made me smile the stucture of it as it was different to normal structure that I've seen. It was imaginative, well I think it was, haha.
I liked this:

All the cold wind
Rushing around me