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Young Writers Society


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Dark Flare Chapter 2 - pt 1 ~ 2

by Mason


Continues from Chapter 1 - Pt 2

After Dad left, I was left all alone once more. My life went back to normal once again. When Dad came back home that week, he seemed to be glad that I wasn’t visiting downtown anymore. However, the surge of energy never left my body. After a week without leaving the house, I couldn’t help but take a look at the stage I saw that day. From that day on, I visited the place non-stop. There were always people already playing the game when I arrived. Even Though I didn’t dare to ask if I could join them, I watched them play for many hours. When there were no people, I stepped onto the stage and felt the energy crawling up my body. I had no round ball thing that the boys used for the game. However, I was simply happy to have a passion, something to look forward to other than waiting for my Dad.

It was almost the end of the summer as I hid behind the trees to examine some kids playing Flare Taming. It was almost part of my everyday routine at this point. However, it was the exciting part. I examined them closely, hoping to learn something new. As I did, my eyes met with a girl standing across from me, also hidden behind trees. I quickly moved my gaze down, hoping that she won’t think of me as some creep who likes to spy on people. She was there for a few more minutes and left without saying a word.

The next day, the girl was there again. Same place, same time. She was there the day after that and the day after and the day after… I started to pay no attention to her. I knew that if I tried talking to her, she would also think of me as a freak. It was not worth trying for. Until she decided to move her place next to me.

“Hi, you must be a fan of… Flare Taming.”

The girl said in a quiet, trembling voice. I almost jumped out of my skin, seeing her up so close for the first time. Where did she just come from? Why isn’t she at her normal place across from me? Whatever the reason was, I was simply not interested in making friends anymore. I ignored her and kept staring at the stage to find out that the kids who were just playing there left. The presence of the girl bothered me to the point where I could not keep ignoring her.

“Who are you?”

I said simply, still not looking at her.

“You don’t know who I am?”

She asked. Wait what? Am I supposed to know who this girl is? This is getting annoying.

“Am I supposed to?”

I said, finally moving my gaze over to her. She was about my age, probably 11 or 12 years old. She had long dark brown hair clear green eyes with pale skin. She was in an expensive-looking black dress with uncomfortable-looking shoes with sparkles on them. Her gestures looked a little unnatural, she was nervous. The girl stared at me for a moment. Great, is she going to call me a freak now?

“No… You do not, of course not. That’s good, very good!”

She said, her expression suddenly brightening up a little. Her voice was still trembling and intentions didn’t seem to be in the right place. What is wrong with this kid? The girl cleared her throat and offered me a shy handshake.

“Hi, I’m Lora, what's your name?”

She was smiling at me. Not a teasing one but a kind one. However, I knew better than to fall for it.

“Cairo”

I said simply and walked away. I did want to go on the stage but I felt like I would look like an idiot if I turned back now. With that, I walked all the way to my house. As I lay on my bed, I could not stop thinking about that girl. She was clearly not someone who I could relate to. However, my brain started working again to figure out why she has been hiding behind the trees like me for the past few weeks. However, I knew better than to open up to her. Once I started talking to her, it was pretty clear that she wouldn't enjoy my company very much. I wouldn’t be surprised if she completely ignores me again tomorrow, not that I care about of course.

My prediction was proven wrong by Lora coming over to me once more the next day.

“So… um, why are you just watching? Go ahead and play”

Lora said in her quiet voice, pointing at some teenagers hovering around the stage.

“Why are you just watching?”

I asked, rolling my eyes. Lora simply smiled.

“My Dad doesn't want me to. He thinks… It's a waste of time. But I think Flare Taming is… very cool, you know?”

I replied with silence. Her Dad thinks it’s a waste of time? I suppose she does have something in common with me.

“Do you have a favorite Flare Tamer?”

She asked once more in her nervous voice as she twisted her body awkwardly. I could tell that she was not used to having conversations. Not that I am, but at least I don’t act that weirdly around people.

“What’s a Flare Tamer?”

I asked back, carelessly to see her eyes widen.

“You don’t know what Flare Tamer is? Then why are you even here?”

She said, impatiently.

“I just found this place and thought it was cool. I do know that whatever people are doing at this stage is called Flare Taming.”

Lora looked pretty shocked. I assumed that Flare Taming was something that kids my age should know about. I shrugged and turned my gaze away from her.

“Ok, at least you know the basics… so, the professional Flare Taming is actually very different from what you see here… it’s more.. dynamic.”

There was a sudden change to her voice. She was still pausing in the middle of sentences, which irritated me quite a bit. However, she seemed more… excited to talk. This is just a small fraction of the game? I tried to imagine how professional Flare Taming would look like. Maybe this girl could teach me. However, I was only going to get the information I needed.

“So, you see that metal stage over there? That is called the Energy Field. The blue energy observes impact and prevents injury. No one knows how it works but that’s that.”

Lora continued before I could say anything else.

“The thing that people are holding is called ZAP, it’s a special weapon that only activates inside the energy field. Otherwise, it changes into a ball. Also, no one knows how that works either”

I really hoped that she could give me a believable explanation of this magical technology.

“Pressing the button on your opponent’s headband is the objective of the game. In a professional game, each game has 10 minute timer, and who ever presses the button first or gets the most amount of hits wins the match”

Sentences blew out of her mouth, not even taking a moment to breathe. It was hard to understand her because she was suddenly talking so fast. I could tell that this girl was a huge fan, almost a nerd to Flare Taming. I tried hard to process all the information I just took in. However, this was not what I wanted to hear about. I wanted to know what the energy I felt inside the field was. I assumed that asking this girl a question would only make her more annoying. At least she was being somewhat helpful right this moment.

“I felt this weird thing while I was in there. Like energy flowing through my body”

I said, trying to sound as casual as possible.

“Wait, you're kidding, right? You know how to use Flare?”

“What do you mean?”

“So, um… professionals use this thing called Flare in the game. It’s a mysterious thing that… well, grants you strength and power inside the energy field. That’s why this is called Flare Taming and professional players are called Flare Tamers. They gotta TAME the Flare… you know?”

She said eagerly, shining her eyes bright as sunshine.

“That doesn't make any sense”

I said, confused. She took a look at her expensive looking watch and frowned.

“I gotta go but I will show you something cool tomorrow. Be here! If… you want to of course”

With that, she turned and ran in the opposite direction, disappearing out of sight. I stood there staring at the direction Lora went, saying nothing. I really didn’t want to open up to her. It was pretty clear that she would betray me just like everyone else did. Yet, I couldn't help but to get excited to see what she was going to bring tomorrow.

“Alright, check this out”

Lora said. We were at the same place as yesterday when Lora pulled out a phone and played a video. In the video, there was an energy field. However, it was much more clean and shiny than the one in the park. Surrounding the energy field, there were rows and rows of chairs with thousands of people sitting on them. I wondered if I could perform there if I became a professional. There were two teenagers on the stage.

“That is Leonard, the first ever Flare Tamer. He’s my favorite”

Lora said, pointing at the boy on the right. The player on the left side swung his ZAP at Leonardo with extreme speed. Red light sparkled out of the ZAP. Yet, Leonardo was not there anymore. He dodged the attack by jumping 5 ft off the ground and landing on the other side. With that, he strikes back with a lightning speed, pressing the button on his opponent’s head. With a loud beeping sound, the energy field deactivated and people cheered. I felt a strong shock of excitement, is this what Flare Taming really is?

“How did they…? How were they moving so fast?”

I asked, confused.

“Because they used Flare. Like I said before, when Flare Tamers go into the energy field, they become stronger and faster. Just think of Flare as a magical power you can use in the energy field.”

Magical power. That hit me really hard. The energy I felt in the field, was that my Flare being activated? Does that mean I could be like the people in the video? Perform at a stadium with millions of people cheering for me?

“But many people have this ‘Flare’ thing. Only 5% of the population has them and even they can only use it with hard training and practice. People who come here and play Flare Taming are mostly normal people with no Flare. That’s why they just move normally. But in a professional league…

“Ok, I get it nerd. Are you saying that I’m like, magical?”

“Yeah, kind of. Even the most skilled players have to train a lot before they could actually use their Flare to gain strength in the field. It looks like you did it… instinctively.”

Lora’s face was red. Words flew out of her mouth smoothly. I still didn’t trust this weird girl, however, I could see that she was talking more casually than before. Still, what really mattered was that according to Lora, I was talented! I was special! I could become a Flare Tamer and feel that power and energy every day! For the first time in my life, I had a dream. From that day, I found myself looking forward to seeing Lora more than going to the park itself. She was almost always there. We started to discuss the time we should meet up and talk. Lora was different, different from any of the other kids at school. She treated me like I was just a normal, average kid. Maybe it was because she was not very normal herself. Even though I hated to admit it, I was opening up to someone once more. We mostly sat on the bench and talked about Flare Taming. We both didn’t talk much about our personal lives, mostly just Flare Taming. Yet, it was more than great to have someone that I could share my passion with. She was the first person outside of my family that I trusted, in fact, she was my first ever friend.

I had many questions about her. Why did she decide to become friends with me? Why does her Father not want her to watch or play Flare Taming? However, I was the one that mostly just listened as Lora talked endlessly about the sport. I was able to understand a little why the boys at the energy field called me a cheater after I beat one of them. Apparently, there was supposed to be no physical pain or injuries during the game because the energy field observes everything. However, I made that boy bleed. Instead of accusing me, Lora simply said it was probably because the field was broken. That was what I liked about her, she didn’t ask for anything that I didn’t want to talk about. She seemed to pay no attention to how dirty my clothes were and how oily my hair was. I was also able to find out that Lora wanted to be a Flare Tamer when she grows up. She was not sure if she had a Flare like I did, but she said she probably would because her brother had one as well.

“Here, I got a ZAP for you. Try it, go on to the energy field.”

Lora told me one day, holding the ball shaped object in her hands.

“Seriously? How?”

“I took it from my Dad’s room. He won’t notice, he has like millions of these. This is just a practice ZAP, once you become professional, you will get a cooler one”

She replied, carelessly. As there were no people in the field, I slowly walked up the stairs, holding the ZAP in my hands. The familiar energy blew through my body as I felt strength over my body. The ZAP transformed into a spear and turned purple.

“I knew it, you're talented. Your Flare color is purple!”

Lora exclaimed as stood beside me on the activated energy field.

“Flare color?”

“Yeah, every Flare Tamer has their own Flare color. For example, Leonard had gray Flare and the other guy in the video had Red. If a non-Flare Tamer touches the ZAP, it doesn't change color”

Lora said, snatching the ZAP from my hands. The color faded away and ZAP turned into the plain blue it was before. When it was time for Lora to leave, she told me to keep the ZAP, telling me it was mine now.

“Let’s make a promise”

She said as she handed the ZAP back to me.

“You will become the strongest Flare Tamer and fight me in the professional league. Until then, keep this as… as a mark of our friendship”

She said, smiling wide. No one ever used the word ‘friendship’ to me before. I smiled back at her awkwardly.

“Why… Why did you just randomly decide to be friends with me? I mean…”

I said as Lora giggled a little.

“I don’t know, I just feel… comfortable around you. I just feel like we have a lot in common Cairo. You're… special.”

That was all I needed to hear from her. She was the one who could support me, understand me. A friend I really needed. That night, I imagined myself as a professional Flare Tamer, going up against Lora. I would win obviously but it will be a close game, a fun one. I imagined people cheering and flashing lights over me as I closed my eyes and drifted into sleep. 


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Sat Jul 08, 2023 9:56 am
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Rook wrote a review...



Hello!
This was an interesting chapter to come in on! I always think it's fascinating to read about the fictional sports people come up with and their rules. I like what you have going with this sport! For example, I like that different people have different colored flares.
Another thing I really liked about this chapter was the description of Lora and her outfit. She definitely seems like an intriguing girl who I'm guessing is probably the daughter of someone important. I like that the main character, who seemed like a bit of a loner at the beginning of this, has someone to talk to and be close to. I hope that together they can go far in this cool sport of flare-taming!
I'm kind of surprised that the flare-taming is so popular but Cairo hadn't heard of it. If there are regular live events with so many people, it seems like something he would have heard about even in passing, from someone at school or on a flyer or ad or something.
I think my biggest issue with this chapter was the pacing of it. It felt like we rushed through a lot of time during it. Like how many days do you think have passed in between the first sentence of this chapter and the last?
I personally think the majority of the action of this chapter could have happened in one day. Cairo sees a weird girl, and she's shy at first, but then talks to Cairo by the end of that first day, and instead of running away and coming back the next day, Cairo could start leaving before she catches him and finishes what she was saying. I do like the promise she gives him of wanting him to come back the next day so she can show him something cool, and then bringing the video the next day, but I think in addition to the video she could have also brought the ZAP. I think by condensing this chapter into taking place over just two days instead of a couple of weeks (my estimate for how long this is), the pacing will feel snappier and this chapter will feel more exciting and urgent overall, which I think is important for a chapter that's mostly explaining the background of a sport.
Anyway, I hope this is helpful! Let me know if you have any questions, and keep writing!
Rook




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Sat Jul 08, 2023 6:06 am
alpacaboss wrote a review...



Cool! Chapter 2 :D

One note before I start, it's great how you're posting your chapters regularly because I do mine so slowly HAHAHA anyways

On to the review of this work!

After Dad left, I was left all alone once more. My life went back to normal once again. When Dad came back home that week, he seemed to be glad that I wasn’t visiting downtown anymore. However, the surge of energy never left my body. After a week without leaving the house, I couldn’t help but take a look at the stage I saw that day. From that day on, I visited the place non-stop. There were always people already playing the game when I arrived. Even Though I didn’t dare to ask if I could join them, I watched them play for many hours. When there were no people, I stepped onto the stage and felt the energy crawling up my body. I had no round ball thing that the boys used for the game. However, I was simply happy to have a passion, something to look forward to other than waiting for my Dad.


Alright, I read the previous chapter as well and I believe the Dad has some past with Flare Taming. It makes you intrigued. Perhaps the person who introduced Cairo to Flare Taming played with his father before and his father was a natural such as he. However, some tragic incident probably happened that caused his father to stop. Anyways, Cairo doesn't listen to his dad and keeps watching the boys from afar. Even if they bullied him, he cares more about the sport than the boys so he keeps watching.

“Am I supposed to?”

I said, finally moving my gaze over to her. She was about my age, probably 11 or 12 years old. She had long dark brown hair clear green eyes with pale skin. She was in an expensive-looking black dress with uncomfortable-looking shoes with sparkles on them. Her gestures looked a little unnatural, she was nervous. The girl stared at me for a moment. Great, is she going to call me a freak now?

“No… You do not, of course not. That’s good, very good!”


The girl must come from an affluent popular family. Which is why she is relieved when she meets someone who doesn't know her, because they couldn't form any prejudice around her from what they know about the family. she can simply introduce herself as herself, not the daughter of some rich dude.

Sentences blew out of her mouth, not even taking a moment to breathe. It was hard to understand her because she was suddenly talking so fast. I could tell that this girl was a huge fan, almost a nerd to Flare Taming. I tried hard to process all the information I just took in. However, this was not what I wanted to hear about. I wanted to know what the energy I felt inside the field was. I assumed that asking this girl a question would only make her more annoying. At least she was being somewhat helpful right this moment.

“I felt this weird thing while I was in there. Like energy flowing through my body”

I said, trying to sound as casual as possible.

“Wait, you're kidding, right? You know how to use Flare?”


For a young girl, I do agree that she is somewhat of a nerd, but I've met kids like that and it is normal for them to fawn over something they find fascinating. So great job depicting that!

“But many people have this ‘Flare’ thing. Only 5% of the population has them and even they can only use it with hard training and practice. People who come here and play Flare Taming are mostly normal people with no Flare. That’s why they just move normally. But in a professional league…

“Ok, I get it nerd. Are you saying that I’m like, magical?”

“Yeah, kind of. Even the most skilled players have to train a lot before they could actually use their Flare to gain strength in the field. It looks like you did it… instinctively.”


OH! So Cairo is special. He has an innate gift to use the Flare. I wonder how he will use this gift!

“I don’t know, I just feel… comfortable around you. I just feel like we have a lot in common Cairo. You're… special.”

That was all I needed to hear from her. She was the one who could support me, understand me. A friend I really needed. That night, I imagined myself as a professional Flare Tamer, going up against Lora. I would win obviously but it will be a close game, a fun one. I imagined people cheering and flashing lights over me as I closed my eyes and drifted into sleep.


When Cairo acknowledges that it will be a close game, you subtly show that he respects and loves Lora as a friend. It's a wonderful way of depicting the friendship, one that I hope doesn't get broken by the tests of time.

Overall, I can't wait to see how the story goes! Keep it up!

This is alpacaboss, signing off.





Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
— Plato